That’s a photo of very popular model Kate Upton in Sports Illustrated earlier this year, but what I want to know is how the photographers managed to get a bikini on this cow, AM I RIGHT?! It’s like “stop grazing, Kate, it’s time to take some pictures!” And just because we all know how much editing goes into magazine shoots these days, here’s another picture of Kate, just out and about all the town:
I can’t believe she even fit in the frame! LOL!
But really, there are people who are saying these sorts of things. There are people who think that Kate Upton is fat. Kate Upton, one of the hottest new ladies in the business. Kate Upton, the gorgeous girl who you can see in those pictures up there. People think she’s, like Jennifer Lawrence fat. Ugh.
The story comes from a lovely little gossip blog called Skinny Gossip. The site claims to be “pro-skinny,” not pro-anorexia, and they have such charming articles as “Fat Pride Burns My Hyde,” and a review of Lindsay Lohan’s Marilyn Monroe Playboy shoot where they say that Lindsay looked “downright fat,” and yeah, Marilyn Monroe was curvy, but “she wasn’t this fat.” And the first comment on that particular story? “She looks vile. I’m guessing she currently weighs 120 pounds.” That’s the kind of crazy we’re dealing with here.
I’m not going to post their whole story about Kate Upton because I can’t roll my eyes any harder than I already am, but here’s a good excerpt:
Huge thighs, NO waist, big fat floppy boobs, terrible body definition – she looks like a squishy brick. Is this what American women are “striving” for now? The lazy, lardy look? Have we really gotten so fat in this country that Kate is the best we can aim for? Sorry, but: eww!
The sudden surge in fame for Kate Upton makes me wonder how much further our plus-sized fixation is going to go. It’s not that the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue was ever high art, but thanks to Kate Upton securing this year’s cover, it’s now barely a notch above Playboy.
Fashion is supposed to be aspirational – and the kind of people who aspire to look like this shop for clothes at Wal-Mart.
The author also posts a picture of Kate at a fashion show, “confidently lumbering up a runway like there’s a buffet at the end of it,” and she commends her on her bravery. Like Kate Upton is such a f-cking cow that she really deserves a pat on the back for even trying to be a model. And speaking of cows, the author also posted a picture of Kate in an ad she did for Carl’s Jr. eating a hamburger with the comment “I thought cannibalism was illegal?!?” Snap.
As you can imagine, shit has kind of hit the fan over this whole thing, because what is the deal with seeing a curvy celebrity and yelling “EW, GROSS, FAT”? It’s really sad to see so many people fixate on this kind of thing when they could be discussing much more important things like the new healthcare bill or Katie and Tom’s divorce. It would be sad anyway, but it’s extra sad because of the added delusion of all these people who think that Kate Upton is fat. I mean, honestly.
But since the shit has hit the fan, the author has pointed people to her declaration of “no really, this isn’t a pro-anorexia site, we just talk about huge fatties like Kate Upton and Lindsay Lohan and share tips on starving ourselves (no really, the site has a “Starvation Tip of the Day.” Here’s my favorite bit from that:
As a thin person, I was also annoyed by our double-standards around weight. For example, people think nothing of telling a thin woman – to their face, in front of an entire group of people – how skinny they are and even to suggest what they should eat. But I’ve never seen the reverse happen to an overweight woman.
OMG, for real, right? There’s such a double standard about weight when it comes to women. People are always so mean to thin women and so incredibly nice to fat women! The injustice is just overwhelming!
Let’s all just make an effort to be nice to everyone today, all right? Even ol’ fatty fatty two-by-four (can’t fit through the kitchen door), Kate Upton. Sound good?