2Kate Upton’s Boobs Are All Natural And They’re Not Going Away

Ah, Kate Upton: blonde bombshell, world famous supermodel, girl-next-door. Is she fat? (Definitely not.) Is she sexy? (Most certainly.) Does she give a shit what your answers are to either of those questions? Eh, not particularly. The 20-year-old (HOW is this what 20-year-olds look like?) took her curves to the June cover of Vogue, where she spoke out on the issue that everyone wanted to know about: her body, and more particularly, her boobs.

“It was hard at first,” she admits of hearing such rumblings. “You sit there and you’re like ‘Is something wrong with me?’ ” But she’s learned to ignore her critics—and come to regard her healthy body as a point of pride. “The things that they’re rejecting are things that I can’t change. I can’t change my bra size. They’re natural! I can work out and I can stay healthy and motivated, but I can’t change some things. I really just live my life. I love my body. It’s what God gave me! I feel confident with myself, and if that inspires other women to feel confident with their bodies, great.”

Well, technically you COULD change your bra size, but you definitely shouldn’t. A universe in which this girl is seen as anything coming close to the word “fat” is one that kinda makes me want to go back to bed right now and sleep forever.

Enjoy Kate’s Vogue spread below – both hands on the keyboard, please!

May 11, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

1WTF of the Day: Uh, P Diddy is Dating Kate Upton Now?

In what is one of the strangest showbiz developments I’ve heard in a while, apparently P Diddy is dating Sports Illustrated cover girl and all-around sexy model lady Kate Upton. Say whaaat?

From The New York Post:

After the 20-year-old Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl said she was single on Valentine’s Day and had broken up with star Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander, she was spotted a little over a month later, on March 24, sucking face with Diddy, 43, at club LIV in Miami Beach.

“They were kissing, they weren’t hiding it,” an eyewitness tells Confidenti@l.

Earlier that night, Diddy, hosting a bash at the club, had tweeted: “Miami … Ain’t no party like a @iamdiddy party … Meet me at Club Liv 2nite #CIROCBOYZ in the building!!!”

The curvy Upton soon joined him in the VIP section and she and the hip-hop mogul stayed together, partying late into the night.

Following their hot hookup in South Beach, the duo met up again in New York, sharing an intimate dinner together at Gemma in the Bowery Hotel on Thursday.

“They were having dinner together,” a source tells us.

I know it’s The Post, so you have to take it with a grain of salt, but this is just strange enough to be true. I just can’t see it AT ALL – he’s twice her age and just… Diddy. Who wants to date a man named Diddy? Not me! (But apparently Kate Upton?) I don’t even have any cogent commentary on this, really. Talk about an odd couple.

April 10, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Jennifer

18Kate Upton’s Trainer Speaks Out

Kate Upton, model on her way to super status, has needed to defend her body since she did her first cover for Sports Illustrated which is effing ridiculous because her body is insane, in the best kind of way. Her trainer, David Kirsch is now speaking out about her body which is weird because, 1. It sounds like he has to defend her body and 2. We never, ever have a trainer discussing a dude’s body.

Kirsch, who also trains Heidi Klum, Karolina Kurkova and Liv Tyler, talked to New York Magazine about Upton’s workout regimen and diet in a piece titled, Kate Upton’s Trainer Defends Her “Porky” Body. In a moment of “come on, everybody, like, duh, why are you all so daft” Kirsch says,

Look, she’s eating [well], she’s cleaned out of the junk, but ultimately it’s genetics. She’s got curves. There was no way I was going to “uncurve” her. That was never my objective.

Exactly and thank you. He goes on,

I love curves. She is the quintessential all-American girl. She’s fresh, sunny, and natural, and not too skinny. We’re not advocating that stick-thin, unhealthy, anorexic approach to modeling. She’s got a little extra meat. I love that physical aspect of her from her chest to curvy hip.

This is the part where naturally skinny girls love to say, “Oh my gosh, we have feelings too, why are you assuming thin women are unhealthy?” And, “Are we not ‘all-American’ just because we’re skinny?” 1. No one is saying that, shut up. 2. You were lucky enough to be born into what is, at least for this time in humanity, the prized body type. Sure, there might be a handful of people out there who tease you for being too thin, and that sucks, but that doesn’t compare to the millions of women who get teased for being too fat, when most of the time, they’re not fat at all, they’re just fat compared to the modeling industry which is what we’re basing women’s bodies on, which sucks.

To add,

I posted all of her pictures from SI [Sports Illustrated] on my Facebook and there were the people who said, “Oh she’s porky, she’s fat.” But my response is, “You guys are all entitled to your opinion, and I know I’m biased, but I would sooner have that healthy body than one that is too thin.” She also embraces it. She’s like, “I got great boobs. Hello, they’re there. They’re not going anywhere.”

And are gigantic boobs not just as coveted as a skinny wasitline? It’s like, no offense to Upton or girls with awesome cuves, but we just can’t win, can we?

February 19, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

3Hey, What’s Shaking, Kate Upton?

Gosh, this cover is so much better than that awful Vogue Italia shoot that came out a few weeks ago, right? Man. Totally.

In this, a recent interview with Vogue UK, Kate talked about what it was like as a young girl with no boobs (I know; I had a hard time with that one, too) and how she eventually adjusted to the entirely amazing body that she’s famous for today. Kate, about her curvy figure in the modeling world, said, “It’s very rare for a girl to move from one area of the business to the other, largely due to the fact that fashion models are almost without curves, whereas swimwear girls are celebrated for them.” Later in the interview, however, she claimed she didn’t know what was up with all the fuss about boobs, but claims that she celebrates hers, because they’re just fabulous. I’m going to leave this gem right here for you. Kate said:

“I don’t really know what the appeal is about boobs. But I do know that when I was in junior high, I used to be made fun of — for being flat-chested. Everyone would go, ‘She’s not pretty! She doesn’t have boobs!’ So I always had boob envy. And when finally I went through my growth spurt, and they appeared, and I just loved them. So that’s why I like boobs, because I didn’t have them, and then I got them!”

Now. With this train of thought, don’t you dare tell me this girl’s not in the right line of work, guys, because I swear. I’ll just have to swing my nonexistent tit in your general direction and knock a bitch out.

This girl’s a masterpiece, honestly.

December 6, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah

7Stars Without Makeup: Hey, Kate Upton!

Honestly speaking, this is precisely how I like my Kate Upton. Yeah, she’s got tits for days and a body that just won’t quit, but my personal preference is not all made up and hoity-toity and uncomfortable-looking because you know that girlfriend’s stylist just made her wear that corset or that girdle to that red carpet thing. No, Kate Upton is just a natural beauty, and it’s really, really apparent when you can wear a schleppy cardigan, glasses, and pretty much nothing else of any real importance to the fashion world.

Kate Upton, you might be as dull as a box of extra cocktail mini-umbrellas (I just don’t know), but you’re still kind of the hotness to me.

November 20, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

5Kate Upton Did Vogue Italia and Here’s the Photos

You know, I’m kind of really torn between whether I think Kate Upton’s totally hot, or whether Kate Upton just has a totally hot body. Because she’s gone and scored a spread in Vogue Italia, and to do that, one really must be extraordinarily beautiful, and Kate … well, she’s cute. With a banging bod. And she doesn’t really do high fashion all that well, because she doesn’t really have a Cocaine Kate kind of face, you know?

Take these photos, for example. They’re hot. They’re completely and totally hot. But are they seriously for real? I mean, in one of the pictures (you can check them out in the gallery), Kate’s entire tit is hanging out of her dress. I mean, f-cker is OUT. It’s not a demure little nipslip, and it’s not a “Woops! I’m trying to keep it all in, here!”—her TIT is OUT of the DRESS. And in another photo, she’s reclining on a chair, in a leather all-in-one, and she’s spread-eagle.

So in short, OK. If gangly tits all hanging out of clothing is the new high-fashion, then yes. These photos of Kate Upton for Vogue Italia are right on the money. But if not? Well. The joke’s on somebody; I just can’t, for the life of me, figure out who.

November 5, 2012 at 11:30 am by Sarah