Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jason Segel and Michelle Williams Were All Over Each Other at a Movie Premiere

photo of michelle williams and jason segel pics
From People:

Michelle Williams and Jason Segel had plenty to feel giddy about Wednesday night, as the new couple attended the premiere of his movie The Five-Year Engagement at the Tribeca Film Festival – and snuggled together at the afterparty.

They were affectionate throughout the night. As the movie ended, he gave her a little kiss on the cheek, as she took off and he stayed in New York’s Ziegfeld Theater to chat with friends and well-wishers.

They were practically inseparable at the afterparty in the Museum of Modern Art. Segel held Williams’s hand and took her around to tables, whispering in her ear. They looked very new and very happy. At one point, he pulled her behind a curtain and she came back out and pointed at him jokingly.

Williams, 31, left before Segel, 32 – she leaned in, kissed his cheek, said something quickly in his ear, rubbed his back and dipped out through the curtain.

So they’ve gone public, then, I guess, huh? I’m just nuts over these two. They seem like they’re definitely the real thing, and if Michelle is going as far as to appear in public with him—in front of both his and her peers—then there’s something serious, brewing, you mark my words.

I’d say give it another six to eight months, and we’ll be hearing about an engagement. Forget that there’s already floating around because Jason‘s talking like, oh, I don’t know, this about his new movie, The Five-Year Engagement:

“My plan is to get her to marry me as quickly as possible before she finds out who I really am,” he said with a laugh. “I’ll do it romantic, but I’ll do it like over a three-day weekend. We’ll meet on Friday, have our first date on Saturday, engaged on Sunday and married on Monday.”

Yes, this is what Jason had to say about his movie, and I’m completely sure that it had nothing at all to do with his current girlfriend. Six to eight months, guys. Jot it down.

Stars Without Makeup: Mila Kunis

photo of mila kunis no makeup pictures photos 2012 pic
You know who’s supposedly not dating Ashton Kutcher? This girl. Mila Kunis. Yeah, after their “day-long” date the other day, sources are saying that Ashton’s forcing Mila to make statements with words like “friends for years,” and “casual friends,” and “dinner with friends.” Because why? I don’t know. I really don’t. Ashton can look no better (and no worse) in the public eye than he already does, so why bother with the damage control, you know?

Anyway, this is Mila Kunis sans fards. No makeup. And she looks pretty good, right? Makes you kind of wonder why some celebrities even really bother with the fanfare of getting all glitzed up and glammed out to go to the damned grocery store, when you have gals like this who are completely content and confident in who they are and how they look that they appear like this out in public. I give girlfriend credit, because she’s easily been one of the most sought-after chicks in Hollywood over the past year or so, and it apparently hasn’t gone to her head.

I guess the only advice I have for Mila is just don’t mess around with Ashton, girl. I’m sure it happened on the set of That 70′s Show, but it was like you were an entirely different girl back then. You’ve grown, and so has your career. Don’t go intermingling with douchebags that’ll only bring you down, OK?

Jennifer Love Hewitt Has “King Kong” Boobs

Did you guys catch Jennifer Love Hewitt on Jimmy Kimmel earlier this week, or were you too busy watching shows with people who aren’t relevant for a crappy Lifetime series? I know I was busy—there were new episodes of the Octonauts that aired earlier this week, so I’m not gonna lie: I was rapt.

Jennifer was on Jimmy’s show in order to promote her new show, The Client List, which is garnering some OK reviews. I haven’t watched it, so I can’t tell you first-hand, but if there are those of you reading right now who actually have sat down at taken a gander at what girlfriend’s doing on television these days, please share. I’d like some objective opinions, you know?

During the interview, Jimmy tells Jennifer that there are several huge-assed billboards that were taken out by Lifetime, featuring her ample cleavage, and he proceeds to bring in a massive piece into the studio. From there, all hell breaks loose. Watch the video, OK?

The bad things about Jenny Love:
—Her hair extensions are mad crappy. Mad crappy. And because she flat-ironed the hell out of her hair, they’re really, really obvious.
—How delighted she is at the prospect of sending a piece of her billboard tits to her grandma in Texas, because at first, she’s all, “Oh! No! My grandma would be scandalized!” but when it looks like she might get another inch of discussion out of it, she’s all for it.
—The constant crinkly-eyed smiley-ness that seems just plastered on. Does she have Vaseline on her teeth?

The good things about Jenny Love:
—Her left boob.
—Her right boob.
—She’s actually not all that pathetic-sounding during interviews as she is in random sound bites.

Can the boobs actually cancel out the desperate bids for attention? Well, yes. They can pretty much redeem her from all socially-awkward faux pas. Can they overcome those ratty hair extension, as well? No. They absolutely cannot, and I’m not even going to pretend that it’s possible.

Dead People Giving Concerts Are All The Rage This Season

This whole mess started when my beloved Tupac was resurrected in the form of a hologram to perform at Coachella this past weekend. It was weird and awkward, and I don’t know why it happened. As much as I love Tupac, which is a whole lot, I wouldn’t want to see him perform. Because he’s dead. And if I were Snoop Dogg, I don’t think I’d want to perform with my friend that, you know, has been dead for 16 years. Is that a hard thing to understand?

Apparently it is, because Tupac’s probably going on tour:

“This is just the beginning,” Digital Domain’s chief creative officer, Ed Ulbrich,told the Journal Monday. “[Dr.] Dre has a massive vision for this.”

Spokespersons for Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg have declined to comment, but Dr. Dre’s production team first approached Digital Domain a year ago about creating a virtual Tupac. The team started focusing on the Coachella performance around four months ago, according to the newspaper.

The months of creative and technical planning aside, a stadium tour is feasible, or possibly smaller arenas, to bring in the talents of Eminem, 50 Cent and Wiz Khalifa.

But wait, the madness doesn’t stop with Tupac! No, it looks like Michael Jackson could be gearing up to go on the road one more time as well:

The late music legend’s brothers Jermaine, Jackie, Tito and Marlon just announced that they are joining together for Unity Tour 2012, a 27-city jaunt that kicks off June 18 in Louisville.

It marks the first time they’ve toured together since the Victory Tour in 1984.

“I just wish Michael was here with us, but I’m sure his spirit will be in the house,” Jackie exclusively told me this morning.

And he may be with them afterall. Jackie said a Michael hologram could very well be part of a bigger tour they’re planning for next year after they release a new album with their recently reunited record label Motown.

“It could have Michael—absolutely,” he said. “Wouldn’t that be wonderful? As a matter of fact, we had that idea two years ago for Michael’s Cirque du Soleil show.”

The brothers are still working on the set list for Unity. “There are so many songs,” Jackie said. “That’s the hardest part because we want to include all the favorites and not leave anything out. We’re going to sing some of Michael’s stuff, too. We’re going to honor him on the stage. He’d want us to do our thing to the best of our ability.”

Wow, sounds super! But hey, you know who I’d really like to see in concert? Someone who’s been dead for much, much longer. Can you help me out, Dr. Dre?

Jimmy Hendrix and Marvin Gaye? Sounds like a blast, Dre, but holler when you can get me someone like Billie Holiday or John Phillip Sousa, someone who’s been dead for a real substantial amount of time. If we’re going to do this thing, let’s do it right. I’ll see you guys at Bonnaroo, I hear Mozart is going to do some sweet mash-ups with Skrillex, and Jesus is going to be the MC.

Josh Hutcherson Is Amazing

A photo of Josh Hutcherson

You guys. You guys. Josh Hutcherson is the best thing that’s ever happened to Hollywood. Josh Hutcherson is the best thing that ever happened to the world. I know it’s a little sudden, but I’m starting to think that Josh Hutcherson might be to me what Adrien Brody is to Sarah. He’s headed in that direction, at least. It’s a big deal.

But why is he so amazing, you might be wondering. Don’t worry, I’ll fill you in, because I found not one, but two stories about Josh today that absolutely warmed my heart.

Here’s the first one: did you know that Josh Hutcherson is a huge supporter of gay rights? This weekend at the GLAAD Media Awards he’ll receive the Vanguard Award, which is presented to a person in the entertainment industry who has done a significant amount of work in promoting equal rights. He’s also the youngest recipient of the award at 19 years old. He does a lot of work with a group called Straight But Not Narrow, whose mission is to help influence younger people, primarily, that any sexuality at all is ok. Here‘s a little from Josh about that:

“My mom has always been a big advocate, especially in the gay, lesbian, transsexual and bisexual community so for me it’s always been a part of my soul,” Hutcherson says.

He recalls a letter that Straight But Not Narrow received from a 14-year-old high school freshman in Florida. “He was in this very right wing and religious sort of area and he sent a letter saying how SBNN changed his life and how he was able to feel more comfortable coming out to his friends,” Hutcherson says. “I was almost bawling reading it. That makes all our work worth it.”

He also reveals that two of his uncles died from AIDS right around the time he was born, and that they have a little bit to do with his passion:

“This is what my family is most proud of and the same for me,” Hutcherson says. “Acting is one thing, but actually trying to change the world and the way people think to make people’s lives better? That’s the stuff I’m most proud of.”

When I ask if he thinks his uncles are looking down at him, Hutcherson says, “I’m not a religious person in that sense. But at the same time I do believe in some sort of something, just not sure exactly. But yeah, I’d like to think that they see what I’m doing and that they’re proud of me.”

And here’s the second story: he adopted a puppy! The dog is a pit bull, and probably came from a rough environment, because Josh couldn’t adopt him until he had surgery for a broken femur, and he’s also missing a few toes. But Josh says that “He’s incredible. He’s doing great,” and that “His eyes are like that grey, silvery-blue pit eyes. They’re so beautiful.” And here’s the picture:

A photo of Josh Hutcherson

See what I mean? Amazing, right?

Marina and The Diamonds Did A Justin Bieber Cover

You remember Justin Bieber‘s latest hit, “Boyfriend,” don’t you? It was a song that featured a little bit of rapping, a little bit of romance, and a whole lot of swag. You couldn’t possibly forget it.

But you might when you hear one of my very favorites, Marina and the Diamonds, covering the song. It’s really a little bit more of a reworking of the song than it is a cover – where Justin’s song is all about “if I was your boyfriend,” Marina’s version is all about “when you were my boyfriend” – but it’s absolutely lovely. She made this shitty, shitty song by Justin Bieber into something magical, and that’s why I love her so much. To be fair though, she did cut out a couple of parts, one of them being my favorite line from the original song (“swag, swag, swag on you, chillin’ by the fire while we eatin’ fondue”), so maybe that had something to do with it?

No, Marina’s just awesome like that. A couple of years ago, she took a song by 3OH!3, which I love for different reasons, and redid it in a similar way. Here’s the original song:

And Marina’s outstanding cover:

See what I mean?

Lindsay Might Lose The Elizabeth Taylor Gig …

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Because of her face. Yes, Lindsay Lohan could lose the chance to star in Lifetime’s Elizabeth Taylor biopic, the movie that’s supposed to be a big part of her comeback, all because of her face, or more specifically, the parts of her face that aren’t real.

From OK! magazine via Celebitchy:

Lindsay Lohan has a plum role waiting for in Lifetime’s Liz & Dick… but in her desperation to look the part of one of the 20th century’s great beauty icons, Lindsay submitted to cosmetic procedures that bloated and distorted her face – and nearly lost her the job.

An insider close to the Lohan camp reports that before flying from LA to NYC for several big meetings, including one with Lifetime executives, Lindsay “was overdone with fillers, Botox and God knows what else. Word is that she had so many shots she went way overboard. And when they took one look at her – they were repulsed and shocked.”

According to the insider, Team Lohan has explained to the execs that Lindsay had indeed undergone some aesthetic touching up – but that the actress “was not told by doctors that she wasn’t allowed to fly immediately afterward – and well, it was a catastrophe. In the course of Lindsay’s five-hour flight, the change in air pressure obviously did much damage and caused unexpected side effects.”

The Lifetime execs want to set conditions, says the insider. “I heard someone ask if Lindsay’s people would take a few photos of her with proof of date over the next few weeks, and that if her face was less swollen and back to normal, they’d use her,” the insider tells OK!

For Lindsay, there’s a lot more than her reputation riding on Liz & Dick: apparently, Lindsay is flat broke.

“She’s as poor as poor can be, doesn’t have two nickels to rub together and she owes more than $3 million in debt,” the insider tells OK!. “Lindsay’s recent Playboy magazine spread only paid a small pittance compared with what she owes,” adds the source, “and she’s desperately looking, pitching and offering to do absolutely anything to take her back to something like the lifestyle she had become accustomed to.”

Wow. That’s a lot of information, huh? Let’s break it down.

I can’t imagine why anyone would do this to her face. I just can’t. I’m sure the pressures of being a 23-year-old gossip blogger in Tennessee are a little different than being a 25-year-old actress in Hollywood, but listen, everyone has a face, and you need to protect it. Sticking a needle full of toxins in your face isn’t protecting it. Call me crazy, but I don’t think you should take a needle to the face unless it’s medically necessary. And the part about how the air pressure caused “unexpected side effects”? How is that not one of the most terrifying things you’ve ever heard?

And Lindsay Lohan is not “poor as poor can be.” A couple of years ago when I was in college, I was scrounging together as much money as I could, taking out too many student loans and working as many hours as I could in the theatre. I was sad sometimes because I couldn’t afford to go out with my friends and I had to put every dime I had towards textbooks. One time I accidentally overdrew my bank account by a dollar, and my bank took out $35 a week as long as my account was in the negative, and it took me over a month to get things back on track, no matter how many times I called my bank and cried. And you guys: I was still nowhere near being “poor as poor can be.” That’s ridiculous.

But what do you guys think: does Lindsay still have a chance of getting it together at this point?