18Are Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Boobs Actually Worth $5 Million?

Jennifer Love Hewitt has what you (well, she) would describe as “King Kong boobs”, and any lady with a nice rack knows it’s a good asset to have on hand. However, like diamonds, gold bars and stock market earnings, assets must be protected, and insurance is always a handy thing to have. Our good friend Jennifer thinks it’s hilarious to joke about insuring her boobs and thinks they’re worth a few million.

From USA Today:

“I need, like, an insurance invitation. If somebody was like, ‘Hey, you know what? We would like to insure your boobs for $2.5 million dollars,’ I’d be like, ‘Do it. Love it! Why not?’” laughed Hewitt, who wears a size 36C bra. She then pointed to her chest and joked, “These things right here are worth $5 million!”

Y’all know JLH is forever in her skivvies on The Client List, which is one of the worst shows on TV at the moment, but apparently her grandmother loves it, especially when she bares all:

Hewitt shows off her famous assets regularly on the nighttime soap, much to the delight of her 86-year-old grandmother. “My grandmother loves to call me the TV ho,” the actress giggled. “She thinks it’s hysterical. . . I get to rub abs for a living. I never thought that that would be my job, so that’s exciting. It’s a hard job, but somebody has to do it, and I’m glad it’s me!”

Nothing like Memaw’s support for gratuitous Lifetime nudity! My grandmother still refers to my partner as my “friend”, so I don’t think she’s very progressive. In fact, I think even watching The Client List might finish her off for good. Kudos to Jennifer Love Hewitt’s grandma for successfully navigating the 21st century. And to Jennifer Love Hewitt herself, I suppose, for taking pride in her body.

March 11, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer

3Lifetime Is Making A Television Show Based on Pride and Prejudice Featuring Jennifer Love Hewitt

This isn’t even a joke, this is actually happening. Lifetime, our favorite network, decided that they wanted to adapt Pride and Prejudice into a television show. The show will be called Darcy’s Town, and it will be set in the present day. In Virginia. Natch.

But Jennifer Love Hewitt isn’t going to be featured onscreen – at least, there’s no word right now that she will be – but she’ll be working as the executive producer. It’s also going to be written by the woman who wrote Charmed.

You can go ahead and thank me for telling me about your new favorite television show now.

December 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Emily

13Love It or Leave It: Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Such A Mess

Dear Jennifer Love Hewitt and every other woman who exists,

There are clothes that will look very flattering on you. You can find them at various places around the world.

Love,
Emily

P.S. This is not ok:

No, I get it though, I do. It can be hard to find really cute clothes if you’re not a very thin woman with an hourglass shape and at a medium height. We all have our own unique problems when it comes to fashion, and I’m not making light of that. I still weep with joy every time I find a pair of jeans that can fit my ass without gaping obscenely at the waist (two times so far this year!). But you know what you do? You adapt, and you move on. You don’t give up and hop in some tragic jumpsuit. You keep fighting, because you’re worth it.

You’re worth it, J. Love. You’re so worth it.

October 17, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily

6Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Mom Died

From People:

[Jennifer Love Hewitt's] mom Patricia, 67, lost her battle with cancer on Tuesday, Hewitt’s rep announced in a statement.

“Her family mourns her loss,” the rep says. “She was an angel to all who knew her and they are grateful she is now in a better place. They ask for privacy at this difficult time. No further details are being provided.”

Hewitt, 33, who kept her mom’s illness private, appreciated her acceptance of the career decisions she made. For example, the actress’s mother was able to find her role as a prostitute on The Client List “hilarious,” Hewitt joked two years ago. “She was like, ‘So let’s review … For 15 years people have been talking about your boobs. Earlier this year, you wrote about your hoo haw in a book. Now you’re playing a crack ho on TV.’ She was like, ‘Do you think maybe you could do an animated movie next?’ “

Man. Poor Jennifer. All of this recent success, only to have something truly sad happen now. J’s mom was always cracking jokes at her daughter’s expense, all of them having to do with JLH’s sexy self. About her role as a prostitute, Jennifer says:

“My mom’s like, ‘I’m so proud. You’re pole dancing and you’re going to play a prostitute. Awesome!’ It’s like, ‘Yeah, what you always dreamed about, mama!’ But you know, it’s a great part.”

RIP, Ms. Hewitt. Hope you can keep on being proud of your daughter wherever you are.

June 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Sarah

3Jennifer Love Hewitt Isn’t Unlucky in Love, Guys, Gosh

People have gone and upset ‘The Client List’s Jennifer Love Hewitt, guys. She’s all upset that people are writing malicious things about her like that her boobs are fake, she’s “cursed” in love, and the like, and you know what? She’s so upset about it that she’s—surprise, surprise—gone to Twitter to vent her frustrations. Not only is she calling people out about haters, she’s also retweeting things like, “Is it going to take Superman to sweep me off my feet?” which is not exactly deterring people from wondering about her mental status regarding her relationship life.

Here’s the gist of JLH’s complaints:

“Read like 10 rumors about myself today! So crazy! My boobs are real, I’m not cursed in love, I had a vacation with friends and I’m single! I am down. Really hurt by all the people who judge me, write mean things, rumors etc. It’s so hurtful. It’s hard to keep your head up. This is what I did on vacation. Painted part of there (sic) school and met these great kids. No more rumors.”

Oh. Girl. Let’s just quit with the their/they’re/there misuse. It’s not helping out your case any, hon. And maybe if you’d quit favoriting Tweets that make you look like you’ll stalk any half-decent-looking dude who looks your way, people wouldn’t be so quick to judge you. On Twitter. On Twitter. Elsewhere, all bets are off.

Image courtesy of The Superficial

May 31, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

0Stars Without Makeup: Jennifer Love Hewitt Takes Her Mom Out

This is what Jennifer Love Hewitt did yesterday with her mom. And by “this,” I mean “I have no idea what and don’t particularly care, because she looks good and that’s what we keep Jennifer Love Hewitt around for and not her acting talent.”

My thing, though, is—would she consider this outing with her mom—Mother’s Day, so to speak—a special occasion? Because she’s still vagazzling, and it’s apparently reserved for special occasions:

During A and E Networks 2012 Upfront event on At Wednesday, ‘The Client List’ said that beneath her cleavage-bearing Alexander McQueen dress she was vajazzled because “it’s a special occasion.”

But she doesn’t stop there: she admitted to Access Hollywood that she desperately wants to be Anastasia in a film adaption of Fifty Shades of Grey:

“I wanna be Anastasia so badly.” … In the book, Anastasia is a young woman, who after taking over an assignment to interview eligible bachelor Christian Grey, ends up on an R-Rated journey. “I think it would be awesome. I think it would be really, really fun. I just started part of it,” she added, referring to the book. “And I’m saving the rest for my vacation in a month or so.”

So, didn’t I tell you guys, like, years ago that Jennifer Love here would soon be experiencing this certain sort of career revival? She’s on talk shows, this Client List thing is putting Lifetime networks back on the map for everyone not female and under fifty, and she’s looking hotter than ever before. I backed you then, girl, and I’m going to back you now … even if you are still a total flake.

May 14, 2012 at 11:30 am by Sarah