You guys, look! Isn’t this great?! Chris Brown can stop trying to pick up women by promising them he won’t assault him, because it looks like Rihanna is really and truly taking him back! Oh, to be young and in love, am I right?
The first hint at this was when Chris attended Rihanna’s birthday party on Monday night. It was said to be an intimate little party, and the two apparently spent most of the night by each other’s side. What made it especially romantic was that Chris knew people were going to get pissed again, so he went to great measures to make sure no one found out he was there. Oops!
Chris Brown was so paranoid about keeping his attendance at Rihanna’s birthday party a big fat secret — he actually tried to FORCE partygoers to sign confidentiality agreements … TMZ has learned.
Sources tell us, Chris refused to enter the private party Monday night at the famous Hearst Mansion in Beverly Hills until everyone signed an NDA — sending his henchmen in beforehand to gather every partygoer’s signature.
We’re told although they didn’t get EVERYONE to sign — Chris eventually walked in … and spent a huge chunk of the night nuzzling up against Rihanna.
According to sources, the two got real intimate — sitting next to each other, talking, and holding hands … all perfectly legal ever since the restraining order was lifted.
As for the rest of the party — we’re told it was jam-packed with celebs including Katy Perry, Bruno Mars, and Chris Martin (no Gwyneth).
Chris’ rep tells TMZ, confidentiality agreements were distributed only to workers at the party and anyone who was caught videotaping/snapping a pic of CB.
I love that Chris’ rep was all “no, shut up, he didn’t make everybody sign a confidentiality agreement, it was just the people who tried to get evidence that he was really there so they could … oh no.”
For all you curious minded readers out there who are wondering what kind of cake Rihanna might have at her birthday party, I’ll tell you: she’d have a cake shaped like a topless Rihanna straddling a big ol’ joint. Really:
And speaking of birthday cake, Rihanna has a song of the same name! She’s currently working on a remix of “Birthday Cake,” and guess who’s going to be singing and rapping on the track? Well, if you read the headline and had any sense, you’d know that it’s Chris Brown. Chris Brown and Rihanna are doing a song together. Right now.
Look, if you disagree with me on this, then we’re going to be disagreeing till the cows come home, because there’s no way that we’re just going to “get over it” because “people make mistakes.” People do make mistakes all the time: the other day, when I got home, I just left my keys in the door. All night. Just sticking right out of the lock, every single one of my keys. Someone could have seen them and just came right into my apartment! I felt really stupid after that. However, I’ve never viciously assaulted another person and I’ve never threatened to kill someone, and I’ve never spent years showing zero signs of remorse for that. What I did was normal, forgivable, and even laughable, but what Chris Brown did will never be any of those things.
But who’s going to buy that single, huh?