Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Awww, Chris Brown Has An Adorable New Pick Up Line!

A photo of Chris Brown

Ok, ok, just picture it. You’re at some fancy party, having a great time. You look good, you’re sipping on a cocktail with some friends. It’s a nice atmosphere. You feel good. And then all of a sudden Grammy winner Chris Brown approaches you! You’re shocked enough that this is even happening in the first place, but then he opens up his mouth and says something enchanting, something designed to get you to fall for him. Did you visualize it? What did he say?

“Can I get your number? I promise I won’t beat you!” That is the correct answer. All other answers are wishful thinking on your part, and you should probably know better since we’re talking about Chris Brown.

But for real, this actually happened:

Chris Brown — who pleaded guilty in 2009 for felony assault for hitting then-girlfriend Rihanna — confidently approached an attractive brunette Feb. 10 at the Lasio Professional Hair Care suite Grammy gift lounge and asked her, “Can I get your number? I promise I won’t beat you!” the woman tells Us Weekly.

“He and his friends laughed, then one yelled, ‘That’s his new line!’ Ugh! I wanted to throw up!”

Counters Brown’s rep: “That is absurd and absolutely not true. He did not say that nor would he joke about that.”

I don’t know, based on his recent behavior (“HATE ALL U WANT BECUZ I GOT A GRAMMY Now!”), I’d guess that he would definitely joke about that. At the very least, it isn’t absurd. No, what’s absurd is the way people are fawning all over Chris Brown like he didn’t, you know, beat and choke and threaten to kill someone a couple years ago.

Sarah covered a lot of this yesterday, about how a number of celebrities weren’t cool with Chris performing (twice) at the Grammys. I thought that was wonderful, because a surprising number of people praised him for his performance and for overcoming all this adversity and all this hate that people put on him for no good reason. Probably the most disturbing reaction from all this hullabaloo, however, was the amount of ladies on Twitter who decided to let Chris and the world know that it would be totally awesome if he were to beat them up. Here are some of those tweets:

Everyone shut up about Chris brown being a woman beater… shiiiiittt he can beat me up all night if he wants

I’d let Chris Brown beat me up

Like I’ve said multiple times before, Chris Brown can beat me up all he wants …. I’d do anything to have him oh my

chris brown could beat me up all he wants, he is flawless

Chris Brown … please beat me ;)

I don’t know why Rihanna complained.  Chris Brown could beat me up anytime he wanted to.

ok not gonna lie i’d let chris brown beat the eff out of me

Dude, Chris Brown can punch me in the face as much as he wants to, just as long as he kisses it (:

Did I disgust you enough for one story? Yes? Ok, carry on.

6 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Repulsive! Those females (cause I can’t call them ladies or women, that would connotate respect) are just as ugggh why even waste our time on them!

    The Grammy organizers lost a viewer(s) by having that thing perform and award him as if he deserved even a milli-second’s notice.

  • Girls that tweet that have obviously never got abused by their partner because it’s extremely terrifying and I would never wish that on anyone. They need to be careful what they wish for they just might get it…..

  • oh i would LOOOOVE to beat him. first woo him, shake ma ass in his crotch, turn around & get close like i’m gunna smooch him, then WHAMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! right in the dirtbag kisser. this over-confident ho DEFINITELY deserves a whoopin’.