Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Kelly Brook is wearing a green bikini - take note! [The Superficial] Victoria Beckham takes Harper Seven out for walkies [Lainey Gossip] Britney Spears takes her puppy out for some pampering [Starpulse] Celebrities do duck lips just like the rest of us [theBERRY] Lindsay Lohan owns up to owing Shawn Chapman Holley loads of money [TMZ] Shirley MacLaine waited around while her daughter lost her virginity [The Frisky] Sandra Bullock and son Louis went to the Super Bowl [Celebitchy] Beyoncé announces wo...

Lindsay ALMOST Went to Jail Today

A photo of Lindsay Lohan Lindsay's lawyer is a saint. Wait, I mean her old lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, the one she fired for no good reason. The new one kind of sucks. Here's what happened: Lindsay had a court date this morning. The judge said that either Lindsay herself had to be there, or she could have a lawyer there on her behalf. But Lindsay isn't even in California, and she just fired her Californian lawyer. Her new lawyer practices in New York, and he'd have to go through this whole procedure to be able to do anything in L.A. You see where the problem is? With no one in court in Linds...

Lindsay Fired Her Lawyer, Screwed Up A Plea Deal

A photo of Lindsay Lohan Ok, so you know how for the past couple years, Lindsay Lohan has committed a lot of crimes? And you know how, even though she did all those crimes, she hasn't really been in jail all that much? That's largely thanks to her awesome lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley. That lady has had a really rough time, but she's always managed to help (???) Lindsay out in a major way. So Lindsay fired her. Natch. What happened was Lindsay hired a lawyer in New York - a guy who was once suspended from practi...

Laurence Fishburne’s Slutty Daughter Faked a Suicide Attempt

Montana Fishburne, the daughter of actor Laurence Fishburne is nothing but trouble. You may remember that early last summer it was revealed that she was doing porn videos under her real last name and perhaps even prostituting herself on Los Angeles city streets. Concerned about his daughter's well-being, Laurence sent a private investigator after his daughter, who caught her drinking a bottle of what appeared to be bleach on camera. Montana's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley (of Lindsay and Nic...

Nicole Richie’s Probation Lifted For Good Behavior

Nicole Richie, who's been on probation after receiving a DUI back in 2006, is finally a free woman. This morning her lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley (who I would guess is the hardest working woman in Hollywood), went to court for the reality star and author and was able to convince the judge that her client no longer needed to be supervised. Her evidence was the glowing reports from Nicole's alcohol education classes and the fact that she's been in total compliance this entire time. You see, Lind...

Should Lindsay Lohan Be Allowed to Leave Rehab For a Photo Shoot?

Lindsay Lohan Leaves Rehab For Photoshoot Lindsay Lohan is supposedly turning herself around in rehab, but homegirl still has to work. After getting approval from the staff at Betty Ford, the actress is going to be released for the day to do a photo shoot for a "major magazine" in Palm Springs next week. According to her lawyer, Lindsay is currently living in a sober house as an extension of her treatment. Shawn Chapman Holley, told TMZ, "The move to the sober house is part of the program so that Lindsay is integrated back into society, and all the outings she's take...

Kim Kardashian Is Displeased Over This Blow Up Doll

A photo of Kim Kardashian I have no idea why.  The doll, Kinky Kim, is advertised as a "busty bubble-butt bimbo who's had more dark meat inside her than a bucket of fried chicken."  And I will be damned if that's not the most charming, appealing thing I've ever heard.  What woman wouldn't want to have a blow up doll modeled after her?  What's that?  A good deal of woman wouldn't want this?  Whatever, prudes. As it turns out, Kim falls into the category of women who would not appreciate this treatment, and she...

Ah, the Things We Learn in Jail

We don't learn our lessons, and we don't internally reflect on what's important in life and what can be cast aside -- we make sure we emerge looking "beautiful" and "gorgeous," and we make sure that's what everyone around us is focusing on, too. Remorse? No. Recovery? Fuck no! It's all about the looks, baby, and that's precisely what Lindsay Lohan's asshole lawyer is saying now, more or less. Shawn Chapman Holley, the first lawyer to bail on Lindsay and her sad (read: pathetic) situation, says: "She looks gorgeous. … She's writing a lot. She's creating art," says Holley. "She's a beautiful, talented, creative woman, and she's going to come out and surprise you all!" You know, that's great and all that you have the support (for now) of your lawyer, Linds, but maybe you should talk some sense into her. Maybe you should tell her that the whole point of this entire jail thing was not to emerge looking "beautiful" or to "make art," but it was to make some serious decisions about avoiding behavior that's going to make you dead, kid. There's nothing flowery and butterfly-y about that shit. I don't give a flaming crap what you look like once you get out of the hoosegow, as long as you've learned your lesson and are willing to change your ways, girl. />We don't learn our lessons, and we don't internally reflect on what's important in life and what can be cast aside -- we make sure we emerge looking "beautiful" and "gorgeous," and we make sure that's what everyone around us is focusing on, too. Remorse? No. Recovery? Fuck no! It's all about the looks, baby, and that's precisely what Lindsay Lohan's asshole lawyer is saying now, more or less. Shawn Chapman Holley, the first lawyer to bail on Lindsay and her sad (read: pathetic) situation...

Happy Lindsay Lohan Goes to Jail Day!!!

AND IT BEGINS!!! It doesn't look like our precious LiLo is going to maneuver her way out of a jail stay, after having been dumped by her high-profile, short-term lawyer Robert Shapiro. Sources say that Lindsay's former lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, will accompany her to the courthouse tomorrow, where she is expected to surrender at 8:30 am. “My advice to the defendant, Ms. Lohan, is to show up tomorrow, on time,” said Danette Meyers, the Deputy District Attorney prosecuting the case. Tragically, the whole thing may not be caught on camera. From CNN:
Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel has placed tight restrictions on what the public will be able to see at the court hearing. While the world watched as Lohan broke down in tears at her sentencing on July 6, the public won't be able to see the actress handcuffed and taken into custody on Tuesday, the judge ruled. Cameras also must stop rolling when the judge announces that Lohan is remanded and the bailiff is instructed to take her into custody. The judge also ordered that photos of Lohan must be restricted to when she's at the counsel table.
That's kind of a bummer, but I guess it comes hand-in-hand with a judge who actually fucking cares whether this young girl lives or dies. LINDSAY! GET EXCITED! This is an opportunity to actually be no-bullshit sober for six months. To have a gods-honest shot at actually turning your life around for the better. I'm so excited for you! It's the beginning, Lindsay! What do you guys think? Will Lindsay Lohan actually go to jail tomorrow: n
{democracy:19}
/> AND IT BEGINS!!! It doesn't look like our precious LiLo is going to maneuver her way out of a jail stay, after having been dumped by her high-profile, short-term lawyer Robert Shapiro. Sources say that Lindsay's former lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, will accompany her to the courthouse tomorrow, where she is expected to surrender at 8:30 am. “My advice to the defendant, Ms. Lohan, is to show up tomorrow, on time,” said Danette Meyers, the Deputy District Attorney prosecuting the case. ...

Robert Shapiro Practices Tough Love with Lindsay Lohan, Quits as Her Attorney

On the eve of Lindsay's first day of jail time (check back tomorrow, as we'll be celebrating HAPPY LINDSAY LOHAN GOES TO JAIL DAY!), Robert Shapiro has quit as her attorney, after only three days of representing her. Shapiro and Lindsay abruptly met with Judge Marsha Revel late Monday afternoon. The prosecutor in the case was not present for the meeting. The high-profile attorney -- who, yes, represented OJ Simpson -- did not say why he quit on Lindsay, but in earlier public statements, he said he would represent her only if she agreed to go to jail and followed his instructions. My guess is she did neither. But you don't exactly have to be a genius to puzzle that one out. But, like, THANK GOD there are some people around her who aren't total enablers and psychopaths -- some people who have some understanding of her disease and are willing to be like, "No, Lindsay Lohan, if you're going to be behave this way, we're not going to support you." "Ms. Lohan is suffering from a disease that I am all too familiar with," Shapiro said publicly when he took her case -- his son died of a drug overdose in 2005, and he's since created a sober living facility in LA where Lindsay's been camping out since he became her attorney. Court records show that even though Shapiro has been representing Lindsay these past several days, her previous attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, never signed the substitution of attorney form, so technically she is still the attorney of record. She quit when she heard rumors that Lindsay was shopping around for another attorney. So who the hell is going to show up with Lindsay tomorrow when she's supposed to book into jail? Her Twitter feed -- which has been mostly ads today -- ended with this as of 8pm Monday:
the only "bookings" that i'm familiar with are Disney Films, never thought that i'd be "booking" into Jail... eeeks
Tomorrow? Is going to be sooooo much fun. /> On the eve of Lindsay's first day of jail time (check back tomorrow, as we'll be celebrating HAPPY LINDSAY LOHAN GOES TO JAIL DAY!), Robert Shapiro has quit as her attorney, after only three days of representing her. Shapiro and Lindsay abruptly met with Judge Marsha Revel late Monday afternoon. The prosecutor in the case was not present for the meeting. The high-profile attorney -- who, yes, represented OJ Simpson -- did not say why he quit on Lindsay, but in earlier public statements, he...

Deny, Deny, Deny

[caption id="attachment_60442" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Image via TMZ"]Lindsay Lohan Busted for Coke In Cannes[caption id="attachment_60442" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Image via TMZ"][/caption] We're a little late on mentioning this, but it's too good not to mention. Lindsay Lohan is in some mayyyyjor trouble right now. She was due back in the States for a court date, "lost her passport" and wound up getting stuck in  Cannes where it's been suspected that she's partying her face off and now? Now a picture of Lohan sitting next to a table with what appears to be cocaine on it in front of her ha...

Lindsay Lohan Warrant Dropped

56895799lindsaylohan342009103411am Congrats to Lindsay Lohan, whose Saturday morning Twitter freakout was, it turns out, in vain. Lindsay won't be returning to jail, at least not yet. The warrant for her arrest was dropped. After the star's attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, arrived at a Beverly Hills courthouse early this morning for a meeting with Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel, they emerged around 8:55 a.m. and announced that Friday's $50,000 warrant relating to her May 2007 DUI arrest was wiped clear. "This was really much ado about nothing," Holley told ...