Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Report: Katie Holmes Got Exactly What She Wanted From Tom Cruise Divorce

photo of katie holmes pictures photos smile pic
… Which is to say, absolutely nothing. Seriously—nada.

Katie and Tom’s divorce has been finalized, and the details are as follows: Tom will pay monthly child support to Katie (who has full physical custody of Suri) to the tune of $33,333.33 per month until Suri’s 18, and in addition, Tom is responsible for paying all of Suri’s erroneous costs, such as medical, dental, educational, and extra-curricular activity costs.

As for Katie? Yeah, she walked away from being pampered on the regular and rolling in millions and millions of her husband’s dollars, but she gained the best thing she possibly could—freedom from crazy Tom Cruise. Hell, I’d go for broke, too.

In related Katie news, girlfriend’s already returned to the theater scene. From Us Weekly:

Despite her casual attire, Katie Holmes’ performance during a reading of the play One Day When We Were Young was anything but nonchalant.

According to theatergoers present at the surprise, top-secret showing in Williamstown, Mass. Aug. 17, Holmes — clad in jeans, a basic white top and a ponytail — brought her A-game opposite British actor Jeremy Strong. “She capably delivered,” one eyewitness tells Us Weekly. “She was very focused on the piece.”

In fact, “If her part in the reading is an indication, I would say she’s eager to get back to acting,” the witness adds of Tom Cruise’s ex.

I’m so, so glad, Katie. Seriously, do anything right now. Do Geico commercials, I don’t even care. Just get back up on that horse and maybe—maybe!—even do some more talking about that Dawson’s Creek reunion. I’m halfway through Season 3 and going strong. This is some high-quality, good stuff, and I can’t wait to see even more.

Go, girl!

12 CommentsLeave a comment

  • lol at “erroneous costs.” Also, she delivered “capably,” she was very “focused,” and she seemed “eager” to return to acting…is it just me, or are they trying to compliment her without having to lie about her terrible acting?

  • I think internet writers should use before trying to use words they don’t know. Just open the extra tab, it takes about 5 seconds.

      • Her erroneous error likely was neither ignorance nor stupidity.

        Because, aren’t most medical and dental costs the result of some error? Aren’t some educational costs the result of an error?

        (And painful and expensive and embarrassing …)

        Extra-curricular activities could also fit into our erroneous context. Maybe she accidentally stumbled into a pet shop and saw a cute kitten?

        I mean, all we need to fit her framework is anything not-school related that is in error and costs money. Not so hard to define, is it.

        Get off mah Sarah. Philistine. :)

      • Yeah, when I’m working in the AM I’m not firing on all cylinders either. But hey it wouldn’t be the internet if every little mistake wasn’t immediately seized upon and scrutinized. haha.

  • What the hell is that kid doing that warrants more money a month than most people make in a year? I was literally blinded with proletariat rage.

    • Its probably to pay for babysitters, security, trips to museum etc NYC isn’t exactly cheap.

      Regardless in NYC she’ll have to account for every penny