Today's Evil Beet Gossip

What’s Your Favorite Gem to Put on Your Baby’s Things?

A photo of Beyonce

Man, I wish I had a baby. That child would have the best accessories. I’d spring for that BeDazzler down at the Salvation Army that I’ve had my eye on and I’d finally go pick up my sewing machine and my hot glue gun from my dad’s. I’d get the biggest tube of Tacky Glue the Walmart has in stock, and I’d be sure to get every color of puffy paint I could find. I would go wild. My baby would have tie dyed cloth diapers and rhinestone covered onesies. There’s even a solid chance that I would put those spinning rims on the stroller.

But see, I don’t have a baby, so I can’t do any of these things. And while that breaks my heart, I have to look on the positive side. And that positive side is that Beyonce does have a baby, and she is doing these things, only on a much grander, more Beyonce-like scale.

From In Touch via Celebitchy:

Beyonce isn’t leaving anything to chance when it comes to the welfare of her firthborn child. According to a friend, the new mom has two nannies on call at all times, which makes for a total of six nannies for little Blue Ivy Carter.

“Beyonce wanted to make sure that her daughter has the best of care,” a friend of the singer tells In Touch. “Her diaper is changed every hour.”

And proud papa Jay-Z, 42, is also lavishing attention on the newborn – by way of bling.

“Jay-Z bought her diamond earrings and a platinum baby bracelet,” reveals the friend. “Even her bottle has pink sapphires on it.”

A little over the top perhaps, but what can you expect from the couple who reportedly spent $1.3 million to bullet-proof the delivery room!

There are so many things to talk about, so let’s just break it down, section by section, ok?

– Why would you even need six nannies?  That doesn’t make any sense.  Even if you could afford it, why would you need two other people there at all times to take care of your baby?  Parents, if you could afford it, would you even want this amount of help?

– How do you guys feel about babies with pierced ears? I don’t really care for it, because, come on, it’s a baby, and there are probably other things on a baby’s mind besides jewelry. Also, they cry and it makes me sad.

– A platinum baby bracelet? For real? They might as well just call it a platinum chew toy, because a baby isn’t going to appreciate anything about that bracelet besides sticking it right inside her mouth.

– Their baby bottles have pink sapphires on them. Could you even imagine? What are they going to do with the bottles after the baby doesn’t need them anymore? How many needlessly extravagant things can one baby have?

– Why do I keep discussing Beyonce and Jay-Z like they’re normal people with reasonable ideas about money?

What do you guys think? Do these guys sound like good parents so far? Would you want to be little Blue Ivy? Don’t you think that alternating rows of pink sapphire, aquamarine, and pearl would be so much cuter?

15 CommentsLeave a comment

  • This makes me so sad. I’m glad that Blue Ivy is so well taken care of, but what’s the point of having a child if you’re not actually going to raise her (six nannies!) and instead you’re just throw shiny things at her? Blue Ivy is going to be really spoiled and probably really sad.

  • No one can take better care of a child than the mother that bitch beyobce cant be bothered fuck her im sorry but she isnt a mother if she need 6 nannies to raise her baby

  • The pierced ears… Well, in my home country (Spain), it is traditional to actually pierce the baby’s ears as soon as they born. Usually the same midwife who delivers the baby does it, because yes, it hurts, but the baby forgets about it. I don’t see anything wrong with piercing the ears per se, but rather spending those ridiculous amounts of cash on anything, from the earrings to the bottles.

  • Sigh…rich people.
    She is in the privileged position of being able to “have” a baby, and spend time bonding with her and enjoying her, and chooses not to? Why? Is motherhood too uninteresting?

    • I have reluctantly concluded that all of the secrecy surrounding the baby’s birth wasn’t for security purposes. But to support the fact that this is another Beyonce-Jay Z production. A surrogate birth with a baby hand-off like a marathon race. Bey was a little country girl from Houston with big ambitions. Jay was a little boy from the projects in Brooklyn (Marcy) also with big dreams. Both had big success and the power to manipulate everything else in their lives. Not hating, admiring. But this is just too scary. Watch her at the Grammys and on the Roseland DVD. No pregnant or 5-week post pregnant woman could do that. Not even King B.

    • I have banged plenty of pregnant women in my day and never seen a belly fold like hers.. The most superficial couple on Terra Firma, If he was Shawn Carter ,sanitation engineer would she have married his Joe Camel looking ass?

  • Excuse you Sue… first off.. Bey didn’t perform at the Grammys. 2ndly I was at Roseland and Beyonce was definitely showing. We actually broke down into tears selfishly thinking this is it. It’s over. Our Beyonce is gone. How could she do this to us.. blah blah blah. We argued back and forth on twitter about it. During the first show one of the gang posted a pic clearly showing her baby bump. We all immediately went into denial until it was OUR turn to witness it first-hand.. LIVE AND IN PERSON. We made all types of excuses for the nonsensical extra material of glitter and lame covering her stomach. The bottoms or panties or whatever you wish to label them did NOT cover her entire stomach. Only the very bottom which was bulging just like the middle.

    During her performance of Run The World (Girls) she literally stopped dancing and waved her hand like man fu** this ish! We KNEW! Beyonce has danced during the flu with sore muscles, ankle damage and even after she flipped down all those stairs. She never just stopped mid step. EVER. She’s a trooper. They don’t call her a robot for nothing.

    Sorry to go against the whole Illuminati devil worshiping Beyonce is evil and sold her soul to satan… yet too selfish to birth his very own baby herself thing people got going on here to brighten their days… but that woman had sex got pregnant and carried that baby. And looked FANTASTIC doing it.

    Everyone is just going to have to deal. Well.. you all are dealing by convincing yourselves she never was pregnant and she actually has 6 nannies to care for a child she didn’t give birth to.

    LOL keep hope alive… I guess….

  • In Mexico, it’s not only a tradition, but more like it’s almost mandatory. They do the ear piercing at the Hospital, and babies don’t feel pain the way we do, it’s absolutely minimal, and there’s no reason to be so sad about it, since it takes a second to do it. The bracelet is also almost mandatory, preferably with their name engraved on it, but a solid one would do as well.. It has to be gold too.
    The rest of the shit they’re doing with their daugther is absolutely outrageous though..

  • how do you properly sterilize a jewel encrusted bottle… wouldn’t germs get all stuck in the crevices? that’s just bad parenting.

  • Agree with above. I don’t really give a shit if she was really pregnant or not. End result is they have a child in their care. If they have enough money to waste it on all that useless bullshit they have enough money to just be stay at home parents and care for their own child – a luxury so many people aren’t able to enjoy. They could live for years on the money they’ve spent on useless crap without even digging into their further millions. Their kid may even turn out slightly normal. If you want to spoil ur kid take them on the odd FAMILY holiday, help them buy their first car, pay for college. Maybe chuck a few of your millions at preserving the planet so they don’t have to grow up in a shitty environment. Christ these people make me fucking angry – RANT!

  • Lets give a ex crack dealer and a wig wearing sell out all the respect they deserve……….None