Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Hooray, Beyonce’s A Mom Now!

A photo of Beyonce

And goodness, what a ride it’s been, huh? From the adorable announcement that Beyonce was with child to all the doubts that Beyonce was with child, you can’t say that this pregnancy hasn’t been interesting. But now it’s all coming to an end, because yesterday, the child was born.

You guys, it’s a girl!

Ivy Blue Carter came into this world by c-section on Saturday, and this girl’s already getting shout-outs. Check out this tweet from Rihanna:

Welcome to the world princess Carter! Love Aunty Rih

So what I’m saying is, it’s looking pretty official. And, oh my goodness, there is just so much to discuss, isn’t there? Like up in that first paragraph when I said “it’s all coming to an end,” you should have been like “girl, please,” because shit is going to get real.

First of all, let’s talk about the c-section factor. See, I’ve been around the block a few times, and I’ve seen a good few c-section scars. Those things are noticeable. And not in a bad way, I’m not trying to shame you if you have one – my mom has one, it was my gateway into this world – but what I’m saying is that when you see a scar from a c-section, you know where it’s from. There ain’t no two ways about it. And I’m sure that Beyonce has the financial means and the clout to get awesome plastic surgeons, but according to my mom and this really strange girl I went to high school with who apparently thinks it’s ok to lift up your shirt and pull your pants down a little in a bar to overshare with a girl you were never that close to in the first place, that scar’s not going anywhere. Is there any truth to that? Because I don’t think Beyonce can go the rest of her life without showing her midsection in public, so I’m wondering if it’s safe to say that if we don’t see any hint of a scar, we can confirm that this pregnancy was bullshit.

Next, let’s move right along to some more speculation. How long do you think it will be until we see any pictures? Are we all going to be talking about how incredible it was that Beyonce lost all that baby weight so fast? ARE WE EVER GOING TO KNOW THE TRUTH?

Finally, of course we have to talk about the name: Ivy Blue Carter. Or, well, it might actually be Blue Ivy Carter: TMZ and E! are reporting two different things, but either way, do you like it? Personally, I think they should have gone with Tiana May and called it a day. Ivy Blue reminds me of either some jazz club or a young adult novel or a young adult novel about a jazz club, I’m not entirely sure which. Really, it could have been a whole lot worse.

And so now you’re all up to date on the state of Beyonce’s womb! You’re welcome, and have a wonderful day!

11 CommentsLeave a comment

  • If it’s Ivy, that’s sort of a pretty name. The rest? Ugh.

    I have my doubts about the validity of this pregnany… I just can’t get that folding bump on video out of my mind!

    I’ve had 2 c-sections and the scar is super low… I could easily wear a skimpy bikini bottom and it wouldn’t show.

  • I have a c-section scar, I agree, I could wear a really skimpy bikini & no one would see it. They aren’t vertical, so showing her mid section would be no problem.

    • They aren’t vertical? All right. The c-section scar I’ve seen the most is my mom’s, and it’s definitely vertical, so perhaps they did them differently 23+ years ago? Thanks for the information!

  • No idea on this pregnancy.. BS or not, but my scar from my emergency C-Section at age 42 is so tiny, soooo tiny, you can not see it at all when I wear a bathing suit or bikini undies.. Just saying.. Not seeing her scar wont prove anything.. And she knows that.

  • Emily, they will make an outer vertical incision only under very limited circumstances (I think things like big baby, baby is up way high and hasn’t/isn’t going to drop, emergency, etc). They will also make the uterine incision vertically in cases where baby is still very high up (in my case). But the usual way of getting baby out via c-section is a way low horizontal outer incision in the bikini area and a horizontal uterine incision. Everything heals stronger going the horizontal route.