Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Beyonce

Kid Rock: ‘Beyonce’s not hot; I like skinny white women with big tits’

kid rock

Welp, whenever Kid Rock gives his astute opinions on matters of the heart, what can one do but sit back, listen and take time to properly reflect on the profound observations he lays at our feet? Kid’s latest diatribe involves Beyonce, and particularly how she’s totally not hot at all and he doesn’t get what all the fuss is about. However, he’s not hating – you’re free to like what you like, just as he’s free to chase his own dreams: white women with a low BMI and humungous breasts.

From Rolling Stone:

Rock sometimes seems like a right-wing politician catering to his base. He won’t play Europe or mainstream U.S. festivals, but he will play SeaWorld. His fans love it when he shouts things like “Fuck Radiohead” onstage or attacks mainstream pop. He’s “flabbergasted” by Beyoncé worship. “Beyoncé, to me, doesn’t have a fucking ‘Purple Rain,’ but she’s the biggest thing on Earth. How can you be that big without at least one ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ or ‘Old Time Rock & Roll’? People are like, ‘Beyoncé’s hot. Got a nice fucking ass.’ I’m like, ‘Cool, I like skinny white chicks with big tits.’ Doesn’t really fucking do much for me.”

Well, hey – at least he’s honest. Can’t fault him for that! And he – God help me for saying this – actually kinda has a point. Beyonce has had a lot of songs that people know, but is she a legend yet? Eh… debatable.

One more thing – don’t expect Kid to have a country career anytime soon!

Rock could have had a country career after his 2001 hit with Sheryl Crow, “Picture” — he is routinely asked to co-write with Nashville’s top songwriters – but he’s not interested. “In country, those award shows make your career?.?.?.?and I don’t suck dick,” he says. “I’ll tickle your balls a little bit. But I ain’t gonna suck your dick.”

LOL, okay, man. Whatever you say! I legit like Kid Rock – he seems like an absolute ass, but he’s hilarious and doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks. You can’t help but find that enjoyable.

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Unretouched Beyonce photos leak and the internet has a meltdown

beyonce

Beyonce is known to many as the most beautiful woman in the world. And hey, there’s no denying that she is a good looking lady. However, she’s not quite as perfect as all the photos would have you believe – even those on her own Instagram. For today, a ton of unretouched photos from a 2013 photoshoot leaked, and the entire internet had a meltdown of epic proportions because… well, they’re kinda brutal.

The Beyhive lost their damn minds and started sending all kinds of threats and shit to the site that originally posted them, so they eventually took them down – but not before the rest of us grabbed a few. There were something like 100 or so of them! Obviouly the big deal is that – gasp! – Bey has pimples! And smile lines! And kind of a weirdly regular, albeit pretty, face!

beyonce unretouched

beyonce unretouched

beyonce unretouched

So there you have it – it’s ~the real~ Beyonce, with pimples and wrinkles and somewhat unflattering makeup. Do we all feel better about ourselves now?

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Kanye West was NOT happy with Beck’s Album of the Year Grammy win

kanye west beck

Remember in 2009, when Kanye West got himself in a shitload of trouble for rushing the stage during Taylor Swift‘s VMA acceptance speech? He pulled the same bullshit again at the 2015 Grammys, but in a jokey way, so it was totally hilarious instead of completely inappropriate, right?!

Beck won the coveted Album of the Year award at last night’s ceremony, beating out Kanye’s beloved Beyonce (the woman he wishes he was with instead of Kim but never had a chance). Agree or disagree with this result, most people – including, you know, the actual nominees – handled their loss with some amount of grace and police clapping. Kanye, who let’s be clear was NOT nominated in this category, rushed the stage to protest before quickly running offstage to uproarious laughter from the audience (and abject horror from Bey and Jay-Z):

Huh. Well yes, ha ha, that’s all very funny. Kanye’s learned from his mistakes! He has a sense of humour! All is well in the world, right?

Right?

Well, no, because after the broadcast ended, Kanye headed over to talk to correspondents at E!, where he tore their logo off the mic and went on a long-winded rant about how awful the Grammys are because giving Beck that Album of the Year award means that creativity isn’t being celebrated (because, you know, only Beyonce and Kanye and Jay-Z can be creative in the world) and yada yada.

“The Grammys, if they want real artists to come back, they need to stop playing with us. We ain’t gonna play with them no more. Flawless, Beyoncé video, and Beck needs to respect artistry and he should have given his award to Beyoncé.

And at this point, we tired of it because what happens is, when you keep on diminishing art, and not respecting the craft, and smacking people in the face after they deliver monumental feats of music, you’re disrespectful to inspiration. And we as musicians have to inspire people who go to work every day and they listen to that Beyoncé album, they feel like it takes them to another place, then they do this whole promotional event that, they’ll run the music over somebody’s speech, the artist, because they wanted commercial advertising.

And by the way, I got my wife, I got my daughter, and I got my clothing line, so I’m not gonna do nothing to put my daughter at risk, but I am here to fight for creativity. That’s the reason I didn’t say anything tonight. But y’all know what it meant when ‘Ye walks on that stage.”

I think Kim’s face says it all, here:

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Beyonce and Jay-Z are moving to LA!

beyonce jay-z blue ivy

Watch out, west coast – Jay-Z and Beyonce are coming your way! I guess they got tired of New York, because they’re looking for properties in Los Angeles and have already enrolled Blue Ivy in an elite private school. I feel like this move makes sense, especially with their new ~vegan lifestyle~ – so prepare for another set of celebs to move into the area!

From TMZ:

We’ve learned … Beyonce and Jay Z are currently living in a hotel in Beverly Hills and actively looking for an estate to buy on the westside of L.A., which includes Beverly Hills, Holmby Hills and Bel-Air. We’re told they have already discreetly looked at a number of homes, but so far none fit the bill.

We’ve also learned the famous couple enrolled their 3-year-old into a toddler program at an elite private school — we know which one but we’re not naming it. But we will tell you, the tuition is $15,080 a year.

We’re told Blue Ivy was admitted halfway through the school year, which is unusual. The school generally only accepts students at the beginning of the school year.

As for why they’re moving, sources connected with the couple tell us they want “a change in lifestyle.” You’ll re recall, Bey and Jay spent the summer in a $200K a month rental near Bev Hills.

We do not know but assume they will keep their New York digs.

I wouldn’t want to live in LA (I’m an east coast girl at heart), but if I was mega rich and could have properties on both coasts, I would definitely find a place in Malibu or in the Canyons cos they’re so nice. Ah, dreams.

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Beyonce wants to sell you expensive vegan food

beyonce

A little over a year ago, Beyonce and Jay-Z decided to go vegan for a whopping 22 days. Instead of doing it for animal welfare reasons, it seemed more like a crash diet that they took part in because it was hip and trendy – especially since they broke this vegan phase with a massive dinner of seafood and fried chicken, if I remember right.

Anyhoo, Beyonce has realised she doesn’t have enough money and that the Beyhive will basically do anything to be like her, so she’s joined up with ~fitness guru~ Marco Borges to start selling you vegan meals delivered to your home – for just $150 a week! The business is called 22 Days Nutrition – based off Borges’ idea that it takes 21 days to form a new habit and by day 22, you’re on your way to being a healthier person.

Here’s the press release for this nonsense:

The home delivery service was born out of a demand from Borges’ friends, colleagues and clients who enjoyed his delicious meals that were naturally low in fat, sugar and salt and filled with flavor from whole-foods such as vegetables, beans, grains, herbs and spices.  The home delivery program takes away all the guesswork and makes it easy to adopt the plan.

“I am so grateful that I took the challenge and credit Marco with leading by example,” says Beyonce.  “He is the most energetic person I know and it’s all because of his decision to live a healthy lifestyle.  He came up with a great program to get people motivated to make better nutritional choices.  All you have to do is try.  If I can do it, anyone can.  I am excited to partner with him.”

The longtime fitness expert, who has been a leader in the field for over 20 years, says it’s really not about asking everyone to become a vegan but rather to make simple healthier food choices so they can live a more energetic and productive life.

“I am humbled by this incredible partnership and excited to share the many benefits of a whole-foods plant-based diet,” says Borges.

“We all know the importance and value of eating plant-based foods but often times find ourselves trapped in a series of bad habits that sabotage optimum wellness. The Vegan Meal Delivery program makes it easier to reset your habits with healthy and delicious plant-based foods.”

I don’t think food or fitness is one size fits all in any way, shape or form. If you wanna be vegan and live on mostly carbs, sure, knock yourself out. It doesn’t make you healthier than non-vegans. Also, charging someone $150 for a week’s worth of food is absolute bullshit. Then again, home meal delivery services aren’t anything new. It’s just a shame that people will still buy into this crap instead of, you know, taking the time to buy your own groceries, prepare your own foods at home.

I’m sure Beyonce will get even richer from this, though, so I guess good for her? You know, despite the fact that I’m preeeeetty sure she’s not vegan anymore and doesn’t follow this shit herself (which would be nothing new – lots of celebs endorse products they CLEARLY don’t use just for the money).

You can check out the 22 Days Nutrition site HERE if that’s your thing.

Are any of you vegan? Could you be vegan?

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Beyonce is NOT pregnant, says Michelle Williams

michelle williams

Y’all, I’m about to throw some major shade, but whateer. It’s such a shame that Michelle Williams can only get press by using Beyonce‘s name, but that’s the state we’re in… :( Michelle hit up The View on Monday (why, I’m not sure and I don’t care enough to try and find out), where of course everyone wanted to know what was up with that cryptic Instagram pic Bey posted which made it seem like she’s totally having another baby. Don’t worry – Michelle will set things straight!

“You know, when she was pregnant**, people said that she wasn’t pregnant and, you know, it’s just no truth to it,” the Destiny’s Child alum said. “Sorry!”

“First of all, if you look at the picture, the baby bump is like where her knees probably really are so that’s really, you know?” she added, after looking again at the Instagram.

LOL, I love that she’s gleaning her information… from Instagram, just like the rest of us. Sorry, but I doubt Bey picked up the phone to call Michelle first to make the announcement either way.

Is Beyonce pregnant? Who knows, but I don’t think Michelle Williams is the authority – she knows as much as the OTHER Michelle Williams (i.e. nothing).

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Beyonce is probably (possibly?) pregnant with her second child (for real this time)

beyonce pregnant

Beyonce can’t just do shit like a normal person, ever. She dropped her self-titled album without notice, she announced her first pregnancy with Blue Ivy while performing at the MTV VMAs… you get the drift. So why should we expect any more (less?) from Bey than to possibly announce a second pregnancy via an Instagram photo of herself at the beach, buried in sand with a giant belly?

There was no official announcement made (of course) and the photo didn’t even have a caption, but people are seriously losing their shit over this. The comments section is a madhouse you don’t even want to gaze upon lest it send you to your nearest insane asylum. I suppose we’ll have to wait and see if another Jay-Z/Beyonce offspring materializes.

Is Beyonce pregnant again?
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On another note, how delicious does this cake Blue Ivy had look? SOMEONE BRING ME THAT CAKE!

blue ivy cake

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