Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Beyonce

Beyoncé really loves herself, eh?

beyonce

Look, no one is denying that Beyoncé is the Queen of Pop. No one can come close to touching what she’s doing right now and she’s brilliant at it. I love her and I will bop her jams from here ’til forever. That being said, don’t you just feel so damn EXHAUSTED about her sometimes? Like, it’s too much, Beyoncé. It’s too much. We know you’re brilliant and we celebrate you for it… but not nearly as much as you seem to want to celebrate yourself.

On that note, Bey has released a retrospective video for the new (re-)release of her self-titled album. In the video, she talks about the woes of being famous and how as a celebrity, no one views you as a human and more boo hoo shit like that. She also claims that no one knows who she is, not even herself, and talks about her mom, her craft, etc. It’s interesting, sure, but I just feel like I need a nap to recuperate after this.

I’m so torn! I love her and this is so well done, but it’s also just so over-the-top like everything else she does most of the time. MY BRAIN IS MELTING. Especially since she spends so much time talking about how amazing our bodies are and how we’re not proud enough of ourselves. Is that why you’re hitting that Photoshop so hard, girl?

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Beyonce and Jay-Z met Kate Middleton and Prince William

william kate beyonce jay-z 2

It’s kind of a Big Deal that the future King and Queen of England (shut up, she’s MY queen!) are in New York City right now. While here, Prince William and Kate Middleton have been taking in the sites in between doing official business-y things (Will got to talk to Obama about illegal wildlife trading and Kate has visited a few children’s centers), and one of those things was hitting up a basketball game at the Barclay’s Center. Seeing a real live basketball game may have been exciting on its own, but Wills & Kate got a double dose of fun when they met none other than Jay-Z and Beyoncé! Or is it the other way around?

There’s even video (a Vine, really, but we’ll take it):


It all seems very exciting. I wonder if Bey was shitting herself? She might be the biggest star in the world, but Wills & Kate are actual royalty! Forget whether or not the monarchy is dumb or an outdated concept (I personally think it’s a wonderful tradition and their “job” is to uphold that tradition and also to do great public service work – they don’t make laws or whatever, so chill, world) – it’s a big deal.

Also also, would you EVER want to have Kate Middleton’s life? I sure as shit wouldn’t. She’s pregnant, which probably makes all this hub bub of travel and public appearances even worse, but even if she wasn’t pregnant, wouldn’t you get sick of all of the to-do? Wouldn’t you just wanna be like, “Wills, can we not just lay on the couch and watch Home Alone and order a pizza?” Something tells me that just doesn’t happen at the Palace.

Here are some more photos!

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The 5 Most Ridiculous Things Beyonce does in the ’7/11′ video

beyonce

It’s time Beyoncé came out with some new music, I guess, so she’s dropped the first single from her upcoming album. The song is called ’7/11′ and it already has a video. The “unique” concept behind it, I guess, comes from the fact that it’s all shot in home movie format – we’re meant to feel like we’ve got a sneak peak into how Beyonce lives because all of this was shot on the balconies or in the hallways of the penthouse suites she spends her life in. How do I feel about it? Eh…

It’s all downright ridiculous, really. While the entire clip is full of “WTF?” moments, the following 5 take the cake:

1. Beyonce, in a fit of laughter, sits on the bathroom floor and lifts her foot to her ear, pretending to use it as a telephone. Your foot cannot transmit or receive data.

2. Beyonce attempts to do that weird “dance” move where you hold your leg in front of you and then jump over it with the other leg. She fails.

3. Beyonce and friends crowd around a small pile of bills – the bills look to be small denominations and add up to probably no more than $100. Hardly ballin’ out.

4. Beyonce wears a blue sweatshirt that says “KALE” in large letters. Kale is gross.

5. Beyonce has a split second light saber fight with a fully masked/hooded villain who disappears as soon as he appears.

And that’s just to name a few.

The beat of the song is fantastic – whoever Beyonce has producing for her now is great – but I just don’t know what any of it means. I don’t think pop music (or any kind of art) has to mean something – it can certainly exist for itself without reference to anything else, but something is just… missing. Then again, I thought that about the self-titled album for about half a day and now I will lose my mind to it, so… there’s that. ‘

What do you think?

Two new Beyonce tracks have leaked… sorta

beyonce

Beyonce is set to release a new album soon, and the Beyhive is desperate to hear what it’ll be like. Luckily for the fans, snippets of two tracks – one called ’7/11′ and another called ‘Ring Off’ – have leaked online. The verdict? Eh… I don’t quite know, really.

First, let’s listen to the bit of ’7/11′, which sounds like a continuation remix of ‘Drunk In Love’ or something. Have a listen:


And next, it’s ‘Ring Off’:


I get that Bey is really embracing her hood roots and I love that about her, but I just don’t know about this. Again, these tracks feel like further ruminations on what she started on the self-titled album, and I’m sure it’ll be good and do really well because hello, it’s Beyonce, but she’s really hitting up the experimental phase in her career, it seems – and I don’t know what it all means, really. Ah, well, we’ll just have to wait and see. We should know something either way on November 24.

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Beyonce has been (badly) Photoshopping her pictures again

beyonce photoshop

Beyonce is hot. We’ve all seen her in the flesh – in REAL candids, like in concerts, at awards shows, etc. We know what she looks like. So why is she still so insistent on not only Photoshopping her pictures, but doing it so badly?

Bey runs a very carefully controlled empire. We all remember when that super unflattering picture of her in concert popped up online a couple of years ago, leading her to ban all photography at her shows unless it was done by her PERSONAL photographer. However, she’s taken things one step further by even seriously altering her “candid” Instagram selfies, and it’s done so shittily, I seriously have to wonder if it’s a joke.

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Sorry, but last I checked, curtains don’t pull themselves in at waist level just to help you out. That’s the Photoshop liquify tool you’re working with, and whoever it is seriously is working with some 101-level skills. But it’s not even about how bad it is – though it is laughably so – it’s about the fact that Bey makes a huge deal out of releasing a song like ‘Pretty Hurts’, all about how superficial the world is and how she’s breaking free from that (easy to say when you’re objectively VERY attractive, thin and rich already) and then goes and does this amateur hour shit.

This isn’t the first time she’s been called out about Photoshopping, either – and she’s certainly not the only one to do it. But for some reason, it just seems like more of a betrayal from Beyonce, who has been rather vocal about embracing herself flaws and all, and encouraging others to do the same. If you feel like you need to digitally squeeze yourself into Barbie proportions, fair enough. Live your life. But don’t pretend like you stand for anything but the same things everyone else does: vanity, to an extreme degree.

Have a look through her Instagram and this shitty Photoshopping is everywhere. Either knock it off, Beyonce, or hire someone who actually knows more than Forward Warp.

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Did Beyonce steal ‘XO’ from the ex-boyfriend of her background singer?

beyonce

People will always want to make money off of celebrities in any way they can. Music is a particularly easy course for the money grubber, because you can claim a famous song is a lot like one you wrote but never released/no one cared about, and that’s what’s happened with Beyonce. Everyone knows the self-titled album gives the Beyhive life, and ‘XO’ is one of the most beloved tracks on the album. Well, apparently she stole that song, according to a new lawsuit.

From TMZ:

A background singer named Ahmad Javon Lane claims he wrote a song called “XOXO” and shared it with another singer who does background vocals for Beyonce.

It’s a short story. He says in his lawsuit the song ended up in Beyonce’s hands and she ripped him off with what he says is a copycat song, “XO.”

He wants at least $3 million.

Alright, here are the songs, compared…

Javon’s song:

Beyonce’s song:

Yeah, sorry, I don’t think so, bro. Nice try, A+ for effort.

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Beyonce is releasing her own fashion line with Topshop

beyonce

As if Beyonce hadn’t taken over enough of the world already, she’s now teamed up with Topshop in a 50/50 venture that will see her release a line of sports leisure apparel and streetwear probably right in time for Fall ’15.

“This is not a collaboration. This is about building a brand and building a business—a separate, proper business, with separate overhead and a separate office,” Topshop owner Sir Philip Green told WWD. “Basically, when she was in London in February we arranged to get together. We started talking generally, about doing something together. We’ve been looking at that [athletic] sector for a while. It’s something we need to be in. Based on what she does, how she works out, the conversation got into that category. We started getting into proper conversation in May or June, as to how it would work. It took six or eight weeks to put a deal together. On Friday, Beyoncé came to our office for the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle.”

So why did Bey do this? Well, she’s always liked Topshop’s “fashion credentials” and “forward thinking”. Kewl?

There’ll be items including shoes and accessories across sports, dance and fitness and Topshop will sell the items online and in stores. If you can get a hold of a single piece, that is – you know people will shit themselves over this nonsense.