Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Just In Case You Ever Wanted to See Jennifer Aniston Chat Up Tila Tequila

Between the charm of Tila, the beautiful, bitter sass of Jennifer and the mere presence of my one true love, Zach Galifianakis, I really couldn’t ask for anything more in an interview.  I mean, in a perfect world, this clip would also feature Katy Perry stumbling around in the background, talking ad nauseam about her breasts, but I find it’s always better to shoot for obtainable dreams, don’t you?

Oh, and just in case that wasn’t enough hilarious for you (and I don’t have to do this, mind you, this is just something I’m doing for you out of the kindness of my heart and out of the depths of my love for you), have you guys seen the Drunk History series on Funny or Die?  It contains such wonders as John C. Reilly and Crispin Glover reenacting the story of Tesla and Edison as told by a dude who drank a six pack and half a bottle of absinthe.

If you don’t laugh at either of those things, then I suggest you stop taking cues from Kristen Stewart and learn to let go a little.  That, or leave us a comment with something that actually does crack you up so we know that your heart is still beating.

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