Doug Reinhardt Gets In Fistfight; Paris Dances On

I often wonder if the people at RadarOnline are just nuts-because who really lives their life like this- but then I remember it’s Paris and read on.  They are reporting that a huge brawl broke out over…Paris’ rack.  And again, I felt the same feeling I experience multiple times every day and thought to myself, “Wait-didn’t I write this already?”  And I did.

So, yeah, some dude grabbed Paris’ rack, bottle throwing and general melee-like activity ensued while Paris danced on a table to her own song, Stars are Blind.  Why does Paris’ life so frequently sound like a 30 Rock episode?

In an ongoing attempt to keep the Swine flu contained, all parties that had physical contact with Hilton received massive doses of antibiotics as a preventative measure.  Okay, that last part is a lie.

Here’s RadarOnline’s version of how the events unfolded:

In one of the wildest scenes we’ve seen in a long, long time, Paris Hilton and boyfriend Doug Reinhardt were at the center of brawl early Tuesday morning in the club h.wood in Los Angeles.

A little after 1 a.m., while Paris and Doug were dancing a man came up to Paris and grabbed her chest, eyewitnesses told RadarOnline.com. Doug immediately pushed the guy away, but the groper’s pal then threw a beer bottle at Doug’s head. (He missed.)

The club’s promoter grabbed the bottle thrower and put him in a headlock. At the same time, in all the chaos, someone pushed Paris, who fell into a group of people. Those people converged around Paris to keep her safe from the fighting.

Meanwhile, Doug was punching the bottle thrower, who was still in a headlock and they ended up on the floor together. The guy who started it all by grabbing Paris’ chest joined in and was punching Doug.

Pretty good celebrity brawl so far, right? Wait, there’s more!

Frankie Delgado jumped into the action (literally jumping over people), and kicked the fight-starting, boob-grabber in the head. People were screaming in fear. (Ok, ok, that was us. But we heard other people screaming too!)

Club security rushed over but the fight continued even as they tried to break it up. Lotsa fighters got tossed from the club when it was all sorted out.

And in typical bizarre Hollywood fashion, as the fight was going on, the DJ put on “Stars Are Blind.” Yup, that’s the song by Paris. And while her boyfriend was out there trying to kick butt and protect her honor, she got up on a table and started dancing to her own song!