Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise Was Sent to Earth to Battle Aliens I Think

photo of tom cruise pictures war of the worlds aliens pic
From the New York Post:

Cruise, meanwhile, was more enmeshed than ever. He was tasked with mentoring a young member, a 16-year-old named Marc Headley, which involved Cruise tutoring him to command an ashtray to balance on its side. The point of such an exercise? “You learn,” said Headley, “that if you don’t do what they say, they’ll just ask the same questions 5 million times.”

… For his part, Cruise believes his true aim in life is to convert all nonbelievers into the church, which, according to Scientology, will result in Earth’s salvation. “Look,” he said, “I wish the world was a different place. I’d like to go on vacation, and go and romp and play, you know what I mean? But I can’t. Because I know. I know. I have to do something about it. You can sit here and wish it was different, but there’s that moment where you go, ‘You know, I have to do something. Don’t I?’ ”

Oh, you mean you didn’t know? Of course. How could this not all be true? These new allegations are all from a book called Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood & The Prison of Belief, and it’s basically all about Tom Cruise and how he’s third-in-command of the Church of Scientology, and what that means for the future of the world.

On a related note, what better way to effectively eradicate aliens by the handful? Becoming President of the United States of America, of course. Did you hear about that? Because that was a thing a few days ago—that Tom Cruise was throwing around the words “running” and “President” in the same sentences. This is what Tom allegedly had to say about running for President, and how easy of a win it would be:

“If f-cking Arnold can be governor, I could be president.”

I’m all sorts of shades of frightened now, guys. I can’t even tell you.

Tom Cruise’s New Girlfriend is Scientology-Approved

photo of tom cruise new girlfriend dancing pictures
I’m kidding, I have no idea whether or not she’s got the L. Ron Hubbard stamp of approval … I just know that Tom was allegedly dirty dancing with his new chick, and that makes me laugh because I totally thought that dirty dancing ceased to be cool in seventh grade, but the joke’s on me, because apparently I was wrong. Here’s the scoop from the NY Daily News:

Tom Cruise cast a normal Queens gal in a starring role – his leading lady on a wild night on the town.

Less than six months after his divorce from Katie Holmes, the 50-year-old “Jack Reacher” star had a passionate pas-de-deux with Cynthia Jorge, a brunette Fresh Meadows native half his age, including some dirty dancing at the trendy Mulberry St. club, Le Baron, on Dec. 18.

The hookup came two days after Jorge attempted the “Mission: Impossible,” slipping her card to Cruise after a lunch at Beauty & Essex, the lower East Side restaurant she manages, according to In Touch magazine.

“He was mesmerized by Cynthia,” a witness to the salsa dance interlude told In Touch, which broke the story. “She had her hair in a bun, wore tight black pants and looked gorgeous.

Cynthia Jorge, at right, is reportedly Tom Cruise’s new leading lady after a sizzling date at Manhattan’s Le Baron.

“At one point, they began grinding together. It was straight out of ‘Dirty Dancing.’ Tom seemed to be in his own world, completely smitten.”

He wasn’t only in his own world — he was just a few subway stops from the apartment of his ex-wife Katie Holmes in nearby Chelsea.
But the head doorman at the Le Baron nightclub, who refused to give his name, doubted the dirty-dancing episode ever occurred.

“I was here all night and I didn’t see him,” the doorman told the Daily News. “I read about it and I was surprised. If he was here, I would have seen him. I don’t believe it. It didn’t happen here.”

A source said the action hero and Jorge, 26, are not currently an item — and a relative of Jorge’s expressed surprise at the news of his cousin’s close encounter with the Hollywood hunk. “I don’t know what to say. What would you say if your cousin was dating Tom Cruise?” said Pietro Jorge, 25. He wouldn’t comment on whether the pair are in a relationship, but he did say Cruise would be the lucky one if there is: “She’s nice. She’s outgoing. She’s a people person,” he said.

Jorge’s also not seemingly ready for her closeup. After news of Jorge’s star-studded dance date went public, her bosses at Beauty & Essex asked her to stay home Wednesday night. “She’s a sweetheart,” a restaurant worker at the posh eatery told the News. “She’s not working tonight. They called her off work because of (the media scrutiny).” Jorge may not be a regular on the red carpet, but the 2008 Boston University graduate has made a name for herself in a few short years in New York City’s culinary world.

“As a New Yorker, I have learned that in order to succeed, one must work fast, strike hard and make every move count,” she wrote on her Linked In profile.

Jorge previously worked at Benvenuti Public Relations firm and as the marketing director at Benjamin’s Steakhouse in midtown. “She was a hard worker,” said a floor manager at Benjamin’s. She told Joonbug.com six months ago that she liked her job at Benjamin’s because she enjoyed, “meeting new people, from CEOs to celebrities to just really interesting people in the industry.”

And, apparently, dating them, too.

Somebody sounds, um, driven. Anyway, here’s a photo of the lovely lady, and guys, I’ll warn you—she is lovely:

photo of cynthia jorge pictures tom cruise new girlfriend pic

TOM CRUISE’S FACE IS TWEAKED THE F-CK OUT

photo of tom cruise jack reacher premiere pictures photo
This is Tom at the London premiere of ‘Jack Reacher’, and I don’t have a whole lot more for you guys about this because really, there are no words.

… Except maybe “motherf-cker.” Because “motherf-cker” is a word I use a lot (in my head, or in forceful whispers, where no one can hear me) when I’m really angry about something. And something makes me a little angry about these photos of Tom-bot, and I don’t even know what.

Thanks, Tom. Thanks for being a good buddy.

Quotables: Nicole Kidman Was All Sad Over Her Tom Cruise Divorce

photo of nicole kidman pictures

I thought our life together was perfect. It took me a very long time to heal. It was a shock to my system. We were in a bubble, just the two of us. We became very dependent on one another. I was reeling with Tom. I would have gone to the ends of the earth for him…. I was totally smitten – I fell madly, passionately in love. I was so impulsive and naive.

—Nicole Kidman on what it was like when Tom Cruise decided that their eleven year marriage was over, which actually surprises me, because it makes me think something along the lines that Tom Cruise wasn’t always the crazy, controlling freak that he is today. No, it makes me think that he must have been relatively normal at some point for someone to care about him enough to be all sad and stuff during and after a divorce, instead of running and skipping with joy, celebrating a new life free of tyranny and oppression. And isn’t it nice to know that Tom Cruise wasn’t always this nuts? Nice for, you know, him?

Scientology Is Getting Mad at Tom Cruise

A photo of Tom Cruise

Not the Church itself. No, the Church of Scientology just loves Tom Cruise. It’s the other, boring old non-famous, non-rich, non-telepathic Scientologists who are getting mad at Tom Cruise.

From Radar:

Some people have marveled at how little Tom Cruise has seen beloved daughter, Suri, since he split from Katie Holmes, but RadarOnline.com can exclusively reveal he is getting special treatment from the strict heads of Scientology to even have any contact with her.

“They have already bent the rules for Tom,” the former president of the celebrity center, Nancy Many, told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview. “If Tom was any other Scientologist, including lesser celebrities, he would not be allowed to continue seeing and maintaining communication with Katie or Suri, because they are no longer in Scientology.”

“So far, because of who he is, Cruise has spent time with Suri, which has already upset the parents and children of existing Scientologists who can’t talk to their loved ones. If he is supposed to be a Scientologist, why don’t the rules for every other member apply to him?” she asked.

“When every other person that I have known of leaves Scientology, which Katie did without speaking of it directly, they are instantly shunned,” explained Many. “By rejoining a Catholic Church right afterwards, she made a very public statement of rejection.”

Within hours of leaving the controversial religion, former members are un-friended on Facebook and in all aspects of their lives – that includes by their children, parents, friends, and everyone they know, said the former celebrity president.

Apart from a fun-filled trip to Disneyland last June, The Days Of Thunder actor has spent far less time than usual with Daddy’s little girl over recent months, and even missed her first day of school on September 11 because he was filming in London.

However, Many is surprised that Tom is allowed to see Suri at all. “I understand that Tom was always busy, busy, busy, before the divorce but Katie would fly Suri to him,” so the changes in his marital state could be just as much of a reason for the estrangement as his religious restrictions.

Last week we discussed the rumors about Tom leaving Scientology over the possibility of the Church forcing him to cut Suri out of his life, and if that was ever a possibility, it’s not anymore. Tom Cruise is probably the single most important (living) Scientologist. He’s not going anywhere. Not now, not ever. So settle in, friends, and make friends with the rage in your souls, Scientologists. Tom Cruise is for life.

Tom Cruise Isn’t Having Fun with Scientology Anymore

A photo of Tom Cruise

Sorry, Scientology, but it’s true. Tom Cruise doesn’t want to play with you anymore. He would rather just go home, if it’s all the same. Also, he would appreciate it if you just wouldn’t call him for a while. Thanks.

From Radar:

Could Scientology’s most famous ambassador be parting ways with the church?

A shocking report in the new issue of Star magazine, which hits newsstands Friday, details recent twists in Tom Cruise’s life that’s spurred speculation the Days of Thunder star might be inching away from the controversial institution he’s become synonymous with.

“Tom hasn’t admitted that he’s definitely leaving Scientology for good,” an insider says of the new developments. “But he’s distanced himself from those in the church and has been hanging out with good friends who aren’t part of the religion.”

Sources say an introspective Tom, 50, is weighing the damage his affiliation with the controversial church has done in his relationships with ex-wives Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman, as well as ex-girlfriendPenélope Cruz.

“Tom’s been leaning on friends who have different perspectives, getting advice on moving on from Katie as well as on everything he’s been going through with Scientology,” the insider said. “He’s finally seeing that being such an advocate for Scientology hasn’t served him as well as he’d hoped — he’s gone through three divorces, and his public perception has sunk to an all-time low.”

And if that didn’t provide enough food for thought, the Mission: Impossible star is pondering what impact his devotion to the cause might have in his relationship with his only biological child, Suri, who Katie holds primary custody of. Tom has shown to be a very devoted father to Suri in the past, setting up some difficult decisions to make if the church drives a wedge between he and his daughter in the future.

How great would if be if this story was real? Tom could finally see all the damage that Scientology has done to his life, and he could start taking steps to fix things. He could find another cool, trendy religion (one that hopefully wouldn’t be so creepy), and he could start doing what he actually wants for a change. He could see little Suri without any problems. He and Katie Holmes could start building a real relationship – friends, you guys, just friends! He could finally settle down with a nice lady (or dude!) and make a life, a real life, for himself. Yes, if there wasn’t a real chance that Scientology officials would try to kill him for learning too much and then leaving, it would be the most beautiful story.

Unfortunately, I really don’t see that happening. Tom is good and brainwashed, and I don’t see that changing, at least not anytime soon. Poor Tom, right?

Here’s Another Lady Who’s Not Afraid of Tom Cruise

photo of tom cruise new girlfriend pictures
So this is the after photo of Tom Cruise’s latest date, on which he took this lady—who is not the lady he took out earlier in the week—to the Ivy in London, where he reportedly dined with Touched by an Angel actress, Roma Downey, and her husband.

The last woman? Was reportedly dumped for dressing poorly whilst in the presence of Tom Cruise, although if you ask from whence the source cometh, I’d have to say … well, me. This lady is similar in physical features to the other unnamed woman—brunette, and not in her twenties by a stretch—though this lady has infinitely superior fashion sense. Which isn’t saying a lot in comparison to animal-print woman.

All I know is that if Tom’s tripping the lights fantastic with brunettes who are not his ex-wife in an attempt to make his ex-wife jealous, I highly, highly doubt that it’s working. I mean, Katie’s probably already moved  back on to James Van Der Beek anyway.

**Update: The lady in the above photo actually is Roma Downey, I think. It would appear that the photo agency mislabeled the photo, but there is confirmation that the woman Tom was out with on a date is brunette and was … well, there.