Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Robert Pattinson

False Alarm: Robert Pattinson Is NOT Releasing An Album

A photo of Robert Pattinson

It’s ok, you can cry. Heaven knows I did when I heard the news that despite previous reports, our dear Robert Pattinson has no plans to make his very own album at the moment.

So I guess just go back to jamming out to your Paris Hilton records or whatever until it’s actually time to be graced with what will no doubt be the grandest thing to ever seduce your ears. Trust me, it’ll be worth it.

Robert Pattinson Is Recording His Very Own Album

I love Robert Pattinson. You know I love this kid. But his music … I don’t get it. I don’t think it sounds good, I don’t find his voice enjoyable, I just don’t like it. And keep in mind, this is coming from a girl who can listen to some sad dude pluck a guitar and wail about his feelings and go “aww, bless his heart, he’s trying!” and jam out to his album pretty regularly. In fact, sad dudes wailing with guitars make up about 40% of my music collection (the rest is Bowie, showtunes, and Adele), but dear Robert‘s tunes just completely turn me off.

Sources describe Rob’s original songs as “guitar-based and drums, very organic-sounding, nothing pop, like stripped-down Ray LaMontagne meets Van Morrison.” These sources also claim that “music is his first love” and that he’s “tortured” because he’s too busy being a living wet dream to pursue it. And that, that I can respect.

So who’s going to be purchasing this work of art when it comes into being? Anyone?

Twihards Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop

You should have known, you guys, that when that new Breaking Dawn trailer came out yesterday, that it would bring the crazies out in full force. And judging by the video above of our favorite crazy, that’s precisely what happened.

I’m sorry if this is a little much for your Thursday morning. Make sure to turn your volume down and get ready to giggle, and I guess be careful about eating your Cheerios while you watch this, because girlfriend is out of her mind.

The Newest Breaking Dawn Trailer Looks INTENSE

Even if you’re not a fan of the films (::waves hand erratically:: I am! I am!), you can’t deny that this trailer’s got some balls to it. The movie drops November 18th, and in all honesty, I think I’m going to be one of the crazy ones queueing up hours before just to get my ticket. Why? Well, because I like the movies. And because it’s an experience, you know, sitting in a theater with people like this and gritting your teeth every time some over-emotional chick screams or swoons. You know what my choice of weapon is in a movie theater when dumb asses have loud, visceral reactions to what’s going on on the screen? BUNCHA CRUNCH. You can launch that shit rows. And when the shell-shocked person turns around and sees an almost-thirty-year-old giving the stink eye and holding up the half-empty box, they shut up fast.

New Breaking Dawn Posters! And a New Breaking Dawn Trailer!

As for the trailer, I feel like I’ve seen all of this before, just in different sequences, but hey. It’s a testament to what the franchise thinks of their ever-adoring fans that they’re willing to splice different scenes together to intense music and give us a few extra seconds that we think we saw anyway, right?

What do you guys think of the trailer? The poster? The positive pandemonium of it all?

Oh, and I know we’ve seen this before (and like me, have replayed it over and over and over again), but here it is again. IT’S JUST THAT APPROPRIATE.

Forbes Releases Top-Earning Celebrity Couples List

photo of forbes highest paid couple 2011 pictures photos tom brady and gisele bundchen pics

I don’t know about you guys, but these lists always intrigue the crap out of me. These celebrity “power couples,” as they’re often referred to, bring in, like, unbelievable wads of cash annually. Jaw-dropping amounts.

I mean, this kind of money is money that I can’t even fathom having, and the craziest part is that there are people out there – both single and partnered up – who earn, like, quadruple this.

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady topped the list this year, bringing in just around $76 million bucks. And that’s just the reported income. You can’t tell me that there isn’t some under-the-table stuff going on somewhere there.

The rest of the list is as follows:

2. Jay-Z and Beyonce – $72 million

photo of jay z and beyonce forbes highest paid list pics

3. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie – $50 million

photo of angelina jolie and brad pitt pictures photos forbes highest paid list

Jump in for the rest of the list –

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The Latest Batch of Breaking Dawn Stills Have Arrived

photo of breaking dawn stills robert pattinson and kristen stewart pics photos pictures

I don’t know about you all, but for me, the Breaking Dawn anticipation is growing. I just recently read all of the books for the first time, so it’s not like there’s going to be any real surprises in the latest franchise installment, but I’m excited nonetheless. Not, you know, as excited as this girl, but filled with a mild anticipatory glee regardless.

These are the latest “leaks” from the upcoming Twilight movie. AND KRISTEN STEWART‘S SHORTS ARE SOOOOO SHORT. But she looks happy, and it’s good to see girlfriend smile. Like, really, really smile as if she almost really means it.