Rihanna has been teasing us with the prospect of new music for a while now, and while our ears have been tortured by that terrible ‘FourFive Seconds’ shit, I think we’re all more than ready for a true Rihanna banger to get the warmer season started, right? RIGHT.
So, here we have the second single from the upcoming R8 album. It’s called ‘Bitch Better Have My Money’ and features some very touching lyrics, such as:
Bitch better have my money!
Y’all should know me well enough
Bitch better have my money!
Please don’t call me on my bluff
Pay me what you owe me
Ballin’ bigger than LeBron
Bitch, give me your money
Who y’all think y’all frontin’ on?
Like brrap, brrap, brrap
This is perfect since, you know, RiRi has been talking lately about how she wants the new album to really focus on the meaningful:
You love Meghan Trainor. You know you do. I mean, you totally can’t stand her, but you also can’t stop singing ‘Lips Are Movin’ every time it comes on the radio, even though she makes you want to jump out the nearest window. Oh, am I just telling my own life story? Whatever.
Meghan has another new song to torture us now, and admittedly, I can’t stand this one. It’s called ‘Dear Future Husband’ and it’s god awful. Here are some sample lyrics:
Take me on a date
I deserve it, babe
And don’t forget the flowers every anniversary
‘Cause if you’ll treat me right
I’ll be the perfect wife
Buy-buying what you need
After every fight
And maybe then I’ll let you try and rock my body right
Even if I was wrong
You know I’m never wrong
Why, why disagree?
Wow, sounds aewsome. Pretend I’m perfect and pay lip service to me even if you don’t agree because otherwise I won’t fuck you or make you dinner like a good wife. Awesome message.
I have no shame in saying that I absolutely love Taylor Swift‘s latest album, 1989, and think it’s brilliant. I’ve always loved ‘Style’ – it was one of my favs of the album. And it seems Taylor’s team agreed, because it’s the latest single!
The video for ‘Style’ wasn’t supposed to come out until tomorrow, but MuchMusic released it early and I ganked their embed code so you can see it, too. Enjoy!
P.S. I absolutely love that pretty much this entire album is about Harry Styles. Cracks me up.
Honestly, the new Rihanna/Paul McCartney/Kanye West track ‘Four Five Seconds’ is one of the most perplexing single releases in recent history. It’s an absolutely horrendous song with a collaboration that just does NOT fit (and that probably only happened because they thought it would be ~unexpected~ and ~legendary~), no matter what way you slice it. I get that RiRi needs to get back out there, though I don’t think this is the way to do it. I’m not really shocked at Kanye, though – he’s always trying to one-up everyone with some crazy shit (which REALLY worked with 808s and Heartbreaks, but NOT here).
You’ll remember Sophia Grace Brownlee and her cousin Rosie, right? They got super famous on YouTube and then Ellen DeGeneres made them major stars in the US. Such big stars, in fact, that Sophia Grace seems to have secured a record deal and, at the tender age of 11, has released her first REAL single – a song called ‘Best Friends’ – and an accompanying video that’s downright horrifying:
Of course, you’ll probably remember that she already released a song called ‘Girls Just Gotta Have Fun’ back in 2013, but from all the buzz I’m seeing about this one, people seem to think she’s going to be a major star. Those rap skills, tho!
My biggest question is WHERE IS ROSIE because hello, they came as a team! I don’t care that Rosie never said anything and she was super shy. That was part of the charm. Sophia Grace is 11 now and the cutesy princess dresses and kindergarten cheese is getting a little old, but I also love that little girls have shit like this – shit that’s actually innocent, fun, playful and age-appropriate – to listen to, so I guess I’m with it. But I’m still terrified by it.
Maybe you’ve heard of Fifth Harmony, maybe you haven’t. They won the US version of The X Factor before it was canceled and released a single called ‘Boss’ earlier this year that was actually pretty good if you ignore the idiotic lyrics (“Boss/Michelle Obama/Purse so heavy/Gettin’ Oprah dollars”). Now they’re covering one of the most iconic Christmas songs of all time: Mariah Carey‘s ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’:
I want to like this version, I really do. I want to not want to be constantly distracted by Camila’s awkwardness (the one that looks like a bird). I want these girls to do well because America is not into girl bands and I do think they’re talented… but yeah, I dunno. This one doesn’t work for me.
Though it is arguably better than what happened at the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree lighting this week…
Gwen Stefani is getting back in the swing of things as far as her music career goes, and her first offering to the world in several years is this: ‘Spark the Fire‘, a semi-shitty rap/pop whatever-the-hell you’d call it that’s… not very good. I mean, even Fergie’s comeback single is better than this shit.
I love Gwen and think she’s absolutely divinely beautiful, but I feel like she probably needs to give the music a rest. Your mileage may vary, of course… I’ll let you decide for yourself: