Last month, it seemed as though Ireland Baldwin was taking her quest for attention to the next level by playing kissyface with openly pansexual rapper Angel Haze. It turns out, I’ve got to eat my words because this isn’t some fly-by-night hook up- these two are in a serious lesbian relationship and they fuck each other regularly. You’ll have to excuse my harsh language – that’s just a direct quote from Angel herself.
From The Independent:
“I don’t know if there’s like some confirm or deny thing with the way relationships work in the media, but everyone just calls us best friends, best friends for life, like we’re just friends hanging out,” she told The Independent. “It’s funny. It’s rad in some ways, it sucks in others.”
“An interracial gay couple, I mean that’s just weird for America right now. We fuck and friends don’t fuck. I have never fucked one of my friends. Once I see you in that way, it doesn’t happen.
“But we do fuck and it’s crazy and that’s weird to say because I think about it in terms of an audience reading it and them thinking, ‘What the hell?’ But it happens.”
Knock yourselves out, ladies. I actually think they make a pretty attractive couple. Do I think Ireland Baldwin has signed up for a life of lesbian domestic bliss? Of course not. I think this is temporary at best, but I gotta root for the team, eh?
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Sigh. It’s so hard to live in a world where it’s “cool” to pretend to be gay but a disgusting abomination to God and the country to ACTUALLY be gay, right? Ireland Baldwin has already tried her share of semi-naked selfies to garner attention, and now we’ve kinda moved on to Plan B since that didn’t work: kissing girls for press. Don’t you just love it?
Ireland posted a photo of herself kissing Angel Haze, a rapper who is actually openly pansexual, on Instagram earlier this week wishing everyone a happy Cinco de Mayo and offering no explanation for what the hell is going on here. I mean, we can SEE what’s going on, but I mean… why so much bullshit? This is a classic “I just broke up with my boyfriend, fuck men! I like WOMEN now!” scenario which is just way too eyeroll worthy.
It’s a shame this isn’t real, though, because I’m definitely into this, especially after seeing this pic:
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Ireland Baldwin is standing up for her dad, Alec Baldwin, who just got suspended by his new bosses at MSNBC for making gay slurs, again. Alec Baldwin is like a child, except in this case, instead of stealing from the cookie jar, he’s using hate speech, and instead of being grounded, he gets his show taken away from him for two weeks. Oh the life of a celebrity!
His daughter Ireland is standing up for him even though he infamously called her a pig in a very mean voice mail message that leaked a few years ago. I get wanting to defend your dad, but man, it’s kind of awkward how she does it. She turns to twitter and makes a series of tweets that are just kind of, “Oh girl, no.” And there’s just so many of them. She pulled a Kelly Osbourne. Here are all of her tweets, most recent to oldest:
Like, girl. Come on. COME ON.
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Alec Baldwin managed not to call his ex wife something mean or call his daughter a pig, so of course it made news. Of ex wife and Oscar winner Kim Basinger, Mr. Baldwin is singing her praises — at least when it comes to her aesthetic beauty. I’m sure his current wife, Hilaria Baldwin, the one who isn’t “one of the most beautiful women that ever lived” is thrilled. From The NY Daily News:
Kim is one of the most beautiful women that ever lived and even [our daughter] Ireland sees that [...] and even divorce doesn’t muddy my view of that.
Wow! Good for you, Alec Baldwin! Those Capital One commercials have really softened you. I know, I know, he’s apologized and he’s really funny on 30 Rock and SNL and blah blah but let’s take this Saturday to remind ourselves of the golden days, when he left his voicemail on his daughter’s answering machine:
You don’t have the brains or the decency as a human being — I don’t give a damn that you’re 12 years old or 11 years old or that you’re a child or that your mother [Kim Basinger] is thoughtless pain in the ass … I’m gonna let you know just how I feel about what a rude little pig you are. You are a rude, thoughtless little pig.
Please enjoy these photos of “one of the most beautiful women that ever lived.”
If I wasn’t a hardcore member of Team Baldwin, you know I’d be tipping my hat to this crazy bitch for her next-level revenge tactics. Kim Basinger, as it turns out, is relentless. She will stop at nothing to make her ex-husband miserable, including ratting him out to the paparazzi. Digging through Paris Hilton’s old bag of tricks, are we?
From the Chicago Sun Times:
A major New York paparazzo claims he and other shutterbugs were tipped off by Basinger about daughter Ireland calling 911 last week. Now called a ”major misunderstanding” by Baldwin’s camp, that incident led to Baldwin briefly going to a New York hospital, before being released and declared perfectly healthy.
When Baldwin got home, he was infuriated by the huge number of paparazzi lurking outside his Manhattan apartment building — and had to be restrained from going after a photographer he claimed hassled him physically.
While Basinger’s camp denies any contact with paparazzi, my source insists it was the actress whose call came through immediately after the paparazzi picked up the 911 call via police radios.
Damn! I would say that this story is total garbage, but now that I think about it, I could totally see Kim doing something like this. And I know nothing about the woman! Doesn’t she have that face, though? She kinda has an Arthur Slugworth from Willy Wonka vibe, no? Like maybe she would hang out in dark and mysterious corners making secret calls to paparazzi in attempt to push her husband back off the wagon once and for all?
I don’t like you, Kim Basinger, but I respect your thorough anger.
Alec Baldwin was taken to the hospital this morning after being found unresponsive in bed by his 14-year old daughter Ireland. Although initial reports suggested that booze and/or pills were involved, those rumors have since been dismissed.
Baldwin was released within an hour and his rep released the following statement:
“This was a misunderstanding on one person’s part. Alec was quickly released from the hospital, he’s completely fine and will be at work today. If there was a real problem, he wouldn’t have been released within an hour.”
OK, so the “one person” with the “misunderstanding” is clearly Ireland, who you may remember from this leaked voicemail from a few years ago. Are we to believe that Ireland doesn’t know the difference between an unconscious person and her sleeping father? Is it possible that Alec had been drinking or using drugs before Ireland called the police or do we think perhaps this is just her idea of some teenage drama?
Nothing makes up for a childhood full of irate alcoholism like a trip to the Screen Actors Guild Awards.
At least, that was probably what Alec Baldwin was thinking when he took his daughter, Ireland, to the awards on Sunday night. Alec famously railed against his pre-teen daughter (with Kim Basinger) in a voicemail rant that leaked onto the Internet last year.
Alec took home the SAG award for outstanding male actor in a comedy series, which means his fellow actors have forgiven him, but when Ireland grows up and looks at these pictures, I don’t think she’ll be able to forgive her stylist for not making her wear Spanx with that outfit. A 12-year-old should not look like she has a baby bump, unless her last name is Spears. BAD DRESS, people.
In other SAG news, Heath Ledger took home best supporting, Meryl Streep beat out Angelina, Anne and Kate for best actress (but Kate took home best supporting), Hugh Laurie won for House, Sean Penn for Milk, Tina Fey for 30 Rock, and Slumdog Millionaire won everything else. No, seriously, the full results are here.