While Iggy Azalea‘s star continues to wane, she’s desperate to grab on to any last celestial scrap she can before she plummets back down to the shithole she came from. As such, she’s managed to book herself a little feature in the April issue of Vogue, where she’s decided to “be honest” (i.e. desperately try to get more attention by any means possible) about many things, including the fact that she got fake tits a few months ago.
It is slightly stunning, then, when I ask the rather routine question “What would you change about your body?” and she replies, popping a French fry in her mouth and not blinking an eye, “I did change something: Four months ago, I got bigger boobs! I’d thought about it my entire life.” She says she was sick of having to sew padding into her stage costumes and wanted to be able to wear lingerie without wiring. At first she resolved never to discuss this publicly; she didn’t want girls—so many of her fans are barely high school age—to feel bad about their own bodies. “But then,” she says, “I decided I wasn’t into secret-keeping.”
Oh, Christ. It’s not a SECRET if you don’t come out and announce that you had your boobs done. The fact that you ARE coming out and announcing it is a desperate cry for people to give a shit about you since they’re very clearly not doing that very much these days.
There’s literally not much else to this piece AT ALL, but here’s the closing paragraph, which is pretty hilarious:
Azalea hates changing rooms—which may be why she falls for a Chloé poncho that can, she says, be tossed over thermals, making her legs and shoes the only thing she has to worry about. “All of a sudden I am fabulous!” she says. “I want to be superfabulous—but also lazy.”
I don’t know the last time any person over the age of 8 has uttered the words “I want to be superfabulous” and meant it, but here we are. Iggy Azalea, ladies and gentlemen.
Kylie Jenner‘s life (thankfully) somewhat of a mystery. She doesn’t seem to do very much, save for post selfies on Instagram and crash her car into things. She doesn’t go to school, despite the fact that technically she should still be in high school. She doesn’t use the obscene amount of money she has for good, though I assume she feels spending that money on endless plastic surgery to look like big sis Kim counts as “for good”. But listen, maybe I’m giving Kylie a hard time. After all, she’s actually ready to launch her singing career!
Kylie! Singing! With her statutory rapist! And possibly the worst “rapper” alive! Oh, does it get any better? I think the answer you’re looking for here is “NOPE!”
Admittedly, this MAY be fake. The pics are real – Kylie did a shoot in the Hollywood Hills with LA-based photographer Naeve Bozorgi this past week and plastered her Instagram with some of the shots, as you do. The above image with the potential single information also made the rounds, but Kylie herself hasn’t posted it, so who can say if this will turn up? Part of me secretly hopes it does. HOW AMAZINGLY BAD WILL IT BE? I mean, it’s (potentially) called “Forever Real”, for God’s sake. My heart lives in hope.
For now, here are some more of these ~artsy~ shots:
Iggy Azalea makes it so easy to make fun of her – or perhaps, as the Aussies would say, to “take the piss” out of her. She’s an absolute mess from start to finish, seems to bask in her extreme ignorance and literally offers nothing to the world of hip hop – or music at large. What should we do about that? Well, since we can’t seem to get rid of her just yet, I suppose Kate McKinnon should immortalize Iggy and her feud with Azealia Banks on Saturday Night Live!
I mean, look, it wasn’t “LOL” funny, but it was a humourous observation, particularly because it gets at the truth of what a mess Iggy is. The Azealia bit wasn’t all that necessary, but eh, they can’t all be winners. The bottom line is, Kate McKinnon is great and Iggy Azalea is the worst. Also, SNL is SO bad these days, and not even Kate McKinnon can save it.
Iggy Azalea can’t seem to go very long without flapping her gums about some bullshit she should really stay quiet about. Her latest nonsense comes courtesy of a Power 106 interview in which so much fuckery spills out of her mouth, I don’t even know where to begin. I’ll just provide the highlights.
On how she has been “unfairly accused” of appropriating culture, but not Eminem:
“I found it to be kind of ironic. It was because I’m white, therefore I’m appropriating culture. But then Eminem won it – who’s white and won it many times – and they didn’t seem to say anything about that.”
Iggy claims her anti-Asian, anti-black, anti-Mexican tweets are photoshopped & fake:
“Having to deal with people photoshopping things that I say, and then other people really thinking that they’re true. Like ‘n-word this’ or ‘I hate every race’. Tweet about me hating asian people, black people – I hate everyone, apparently. That annoyed me. Nobody wants to be called a racist…Nobody wants to feel like they’re Hitler. That was weak. That was lame.”
On her haters:
“You just want an excuse to hate me. Don’t try to say that I’m a racist! …If I did have a penis, I’d stick it at the back of your throat.”
On how she would have rejected the Grammy if she won:
“I did not want to win that award. My speech would have been like, ‘Fuck this! I don’t want it! Take it! Get away from me!’. I’m glad I didn’t win because people already hate me enough. I do not need to be hated any more.”
Yeah, OKAY. I’m so sure Iggy Azalea would have refused the Grammy award. HAHAHAHA!! That’s rich. Also rich? The fact that she doesn’t get that Eminem doesn’t get as much shit as her because he actually RESPECTS the culture he’s part of (and, you know, he’s talented, but that’s neither here nor there). Finally, I don’t really need an excuse to hate Iggy. She makes it too easy all on her own.
If you have a high tolerance for bullshit, you can watch the whole interview here:
Have you ever seen such a spectacular display of ignorance in your life? Iggy Azalea – cultural appropriator and racist of the ages – has actually complained in a new interview about being “stereotyped” by people calling her out for putting on a fake Southern accent and basically being a caricature of whatever she thinks black people are supposed to be like in her warped ass Australian mind. I mean, guys, HOW COULD YOU?
LOL uhhhh… in what way is Iggy Azalea “complex”, “multidimensional” OR “interesting”? She’s giving advice she doesn’t follow herself. Second of all, she honestly is so dumb, she doesn’t understand the irony of her own rant. It’s totally okay for her to stereotype black people and culture and pretend to be part of it, but when actual black artists like Eve and Jill Scott (at whom this rant seems to have been directed) comment on how she should, you know, be HERSELF instead of pretending to put on an accent and take on characteristics she sees as appropriate for rap culture, then SHE is being stereotyped? The ignorance astounds.
Macklemore may be a bit misguided (his anti-Semitic stunt has yet to be forgotten), but when it comes to race, he knows the deal. Iggy Azalea is a hot topic at the moment given her blatant disregard for all things non-white, especially considering her appropriation of black culture. What does Macklemore have to say about it? Well… he kinda sees where all the criticism is coming from, actually.
As he explained during an interview with Hot 97:
“You need to know your place in the culture. Are you contributing or are you taking? Are you using it for your own advantage or are you contributing? You cannot disregard where this culture came from, and our place in it as white people. This is not my culture to begin with…I do believe that I need to know my place.”
“I can cuss on a record…yet parents are still like, ‘You’re the only rap I let my kids listen to. Why can I wear a hoodie and not be labeled a thug?…Why am I on Ellen’s couch?…The privilege that exists in the music industry is just a greater symptom of the privilege that exists in America. There’s no difference.”
I never thought I’d say this, but uh… Macklemore just got deep on us. It’s perhaps slightly heartening to know that the guy realizes the privileges he’s afforded as a white rapper, though I suppose it doesn’t count for much unless he does something about it.
And yeah, Iggy Azalea is definitely taking a lot from the rap community, but sure sure as shit isn’t giving anything to it.
The whole interview is (somewhat) worth watching, if you’re interested:
Perhaps it can only be described as poetic justice to hear that Iggy Azalea, she who flaps her gums far too often about shit she knows nothing about (and magically seems to be rendered deaf and dumb when it actually matters), has been diagnosed with TMJ. If you don’t know what TMJ is, it stands for temporomandibular joint dysfunction, a jaw disorder that can cause pretty significant discomfort, headaches, lockjaw, etc.
This diagnosis comes at a pretty obnoxious time, considering Iggy plans on hitting the studio to start working on her new album this month.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean we’ll be getting a break from her for any amount of time. She told fans she’s going to try acupuncture and take her own practitioner on tour with her this year.
Obviously I don’t wish pain and suffering on anyone, regardless of what a shitty human being they are, but there’s nothing wrong with a bit of schaudenfreude, now is there?