Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton Is Running For President – It’s Official!

hillary clinton

This weekend, something super important happened that you’ve no doubt heard about already: Hillary Clinton announced her candidacy for the presidency! Regardless of whether or not you’re a Democrat or if you like Hillary’s policies, this is a big deal. It’s not often that women run for president, and especially not in one of the two major parties.

Hillary officially announced her campaign yesterday and posted this video to her website:

Of course, this isn’t Hill’s first time at the rodeo – she actually ran on the Democratic ticket back in 2008 but lost the ballot to Obama. This time around, she’s the first person to seek the nomination for the party for the 2016 election. Do I think she’ll win? Frankly, no. Do I think she’s the best politician ever? No. But I think it’s important she’s out there and I’m interested to see what platform she runs on nonetheless. Now she’d better get on the phone to Katy Perry and get that campaign song she was promised.

This is a celebrity gossip site, as you well know, so perhaps it seems odd to have this news here, but considering that this is such a big thing and effects all of us, I think it’s worth talking about.

On a side note: Holy shit, Hillary Clinton is 67? Time flies!

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Katy Perry offers to write Hillary Clinton’s campaign song

katy perry hilary clinton

Katy Perry got to meet up with Hilary Clinton recently, where she did a little fangirling and apparently offered to write Hilary’s theme song during the 2016 presidential race (which Hillary may or may not be participating in). She’s currently promoting her new book, Hard Choices, and is doing an accompanying media tour, which is where this meet-up seemed to take place.

In any case, Katy posted the above photo online and Hillary replied. #Girlpower?

Uh, don’t I wish Hillary Clinton would use ‘Roar’ as her campaign song! That would be sort of amazing.

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Carey Mulligan As Hillary Clinton? Probably The Best Choice Yet

carey mulligan hillary clinton movie

There was all kinds of nonsense that Scarlett Johansson was in the running to play Hillary Rodham Clinton, which is ridiculous for so many reasons, but I think the most important reason to remember is that Ms. Johansson really can’t act worth a damn. Lost In Translation? Great. Any role more complicated than Lost In Translation? Not so great. Her facial expressions are dull and her line delivery is like hearing the beautiful, majestic orcas cooing under the ocean.

According to The Hollywood ReportCarey Mulligan is the latest rumored pick for Hillary movie, and I think it’s the best one yet. Girl looks way more like Hillary than Scarlett and unlike Scarlett, she’s got that whole acting thing down.

I wonder if this all has to do with Ms. Mulligan just signing on to WME from CAA?

Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Britney Spears and 11 Other Celebrities Get Hacked, Are Really Rich

beyonce jay-z pics

Another day, another celebrity hacking. This time it’s not tits and ass we’re getting a peek at, but rather private financial information of some of Hollywood’s biggest stars (and a few politicians, too). Surprise: they’re all rich! Filthy rich!

From TMZ:

Twelve big celebs and political figures, including Jay-Z, Beyonce, are the victims of a hacker who has posted detailed information about what appears to be their finances … and we’ve learned law enforcement is on the case.

A website — we’re not disclosing the name — has posted social security numbers, mortgage amounts, credit card info, car loans, banking and other info of major celebs.  In addition to Beyonce and Jay-Z … the site has snagged financial dossiers of Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Mel Gibson, Ashton Kutcher, Joe Biden, Robert Mueller, Hillary Clinton, Eric Holder and LAPD Chief Charlie Beck.

The site was not able to get a lot on Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton, but most of the others on the list have had their financial info compromised.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the LAPD has already launched an investigation.  We’re told the FBI is looking into it.

Damn. Donald Trump and Britney Spears were also added to this list soon after the initial report emerged. Basically nothing is private anymore, not even the financial information of big stars who can, presumably, pay or extra security measures to keep this info from getting out. It’s unclear what anyone would be able to do with this info since presumably, if you tried to steal money from these people, you’d have a damn hard time getting away with it, but maybe I’m just not up on the latest criminal approaches. Not really my scene.

I’m sure we’ll see some more celebs added to this list in the coming weeks. How much do you want to bet that since this is involving famous people, the perps will be caught and in jail by week’s end? Everyone knows Hollywood personalities are important than real crimes affecting regular people.

Just Because: Here’s A Picture of Christina Aguilera and Hillary Clinton

A photo of Christina Aguilera and Hillary Clinton

Christina and Hillary were both at this leadership award ceremony in Washington D.C. yesterday because they’re both doing really important things to help out all those starving people around the world. And that’s a really great thing, it really is. It’s a very important cause, and it’s a cause that needs all the help it can get. I think it’s so admirable that Christina is taking time away from singing about f-cking bodies to use her fame for something good.

But you guys know why I’m posting this picture. And that’s all I’m going to say.

Presidents In Party Hats

Our President, in a big stupid party hat

President Obama celebrated his 50th birthday yesterday! Happy birthday, Mr. President!

And how did Madame Tussauds D.C. celebrate the occasion?


Something about this whole display gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies. The wax figures themselves look like reflections in a funhouse mirror.

Another thing: I am actually vaguely offended by the party hats. No matter your opinion of our Commander-in-Chief, I don’t think his effigy needed to spend his Big Day wearing a paper cone on his head. (Now, Bill Clinton wearing a party hat in the Oval Office? That’s hilarious.)

And finally, can you identify the wax woman standing with President and First Lady Obama? Because I genuinely thought it was Jennifer Hudson, you guys.

Just What You’ve Been Waiting For: the Hillary Clinton Parody Porno

Sammie Spades stars in Hillary Clinton porn spoof
Image via TMZ

Sammie Spades once worked as an intern in Senator Clinton’s office in Buffalo, New York; now she’s a porn star, as TMZ uncovered two weeks ago.

So it was only a matter of time—er, nine whole days, actually—until somebody propositioned Spades with an offer she couldn’t pass up. You guessed it: Spades is currently filming a bio-pic of her life. (Some scenes might be fictionalized juuuuust slightly.)

Only four days after what was surely a tedious Clinton lookalike casting process, The Backdoor Intern finally has its Hillary! And here she is with Sammie, live on set. The movie already has a set.

From certain angles, Porn Hillary looks a little like Kristen Wiig. Oh, no! I CAN’T UNSEE.