Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Disney

Homeless woman takes Amanda Bynes and Halle Berry to court to sell her script

amanda bynes halle berry armie hammer

This is a bit of a weird one, I have to admit, and I don’t really know where to start. A homeless woman in Los Angeles has filed an insane lawsuit against a bunch of Hollywood stars including Amanda Bynes, Halle Berry, Armie Hammer and the entire Disney corporation… just to get them all into a courtroom so they’ll listen to her idea for a script. WHAT?

Let’s let TMZ explain…

Jo Anne Vandegriff — who describes herself as homeless — freely admits the suit is a ploy to get everyone in a room so she can sell her 2,000-page original Civil War romance mini-series, “Heaven’s Angels.”

Vandegriff describes her script as “an extraordinary work in its length, complexity, and scope, though not yet a masterpiece work.”

Vandegriff is targeting Disney because she wants to open up the studio — which she claims produces lily-white content — to Black and Hispanic females.

She doesn’t apologize for using the legal system to make a buck, because, as she says in the lawsuit, “a mini-series of this nature only comes along once every twenty to thirty years.”

So why sue Halle?  Vandegriff wants her in the leading role.  As for Amanda … it would be a great comeback for her.  And Armie … he could finally be a leading man (and rid himself of the “Lone Ranger” stink — that’s our take).

And Vandegriff promises her script will help stimulate the economy … and promote “peace and harmony, health and happiness.”

Again, California’s legal system is a complete joke and we know it, but how is this even going to make it to court? How is this a real thing that isn’t just thrown out immediately for being absolutely ridiculous? WHAT IS HAPPENING IN LOS ANGELES?

Also, I feel particularly bad for Amanda here. She’s just getting her life together and then some asshole wants to pull her back into a load of bullshit. Ugh.

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Disney and Pixar Are Totally Cool, Totally With It

The folks behind some of the most groundbreaking animation of all time, Disney and Pixar, are utilizing another up-and-coming technology: “viral video”. These faux-commericals for Lots-O’-Huggin’ bear have turned up online and it turns out that they’re actually something put together by the people at Disney and Pixar to promote a new character in Toy Story 3.

The bear itself is actually pretty cute and the bunk VHS-to-digital quality of these clips adds a level of authenticity that makes me wonder what other stunts these cats are gonna pull to promote this new flick.

In terms of animated sequels, you’ll catch me at Shrek 3 over Toy Story 3 any day of the week. Are you looking forward to checking out what’s up with Buzz and Woody?

Orly Bloom Won’t Return For New Pirates Either

Awhile back I announced on here that Johnny Depp is almost definitely not returning to the Pirates of the Caribbean set for another movie. This news was not popular, because what the hell is a Pirates movie without Johnny playing Jack Sparrow? All that would leave us with is Orlando Bloom and that pretty British chick on a boat. Well, now I guess it’s just the British chick and the boat because Orlando doesn’t want to do another installment in the series, either.

So where does that leave Disney? I’m thinking they need to cut their losses and realize that we live in a vampire crazed world and that pirates– at least for the moment– are more over than that whole “black leggings and tunic” look we were all rocking when the first one came out. It’s been years, guys! Perhaps the Mouse needs throw in the towel. No one’s going to see another one of these movies.

First Five Minutes Of The Princess And The Frog! BAM!

The first five minutes of Disney’s newest animated film The Princess And The Frog has been released online and it looks adorable. Personally, I prefer this style Disney cartoon over a lot of the fancy schmancy Pixar stuff they’ve been doing lately. There’s something to be said for the classics, and beside, I can’t even see 3D because I was born with a lazy eye. Whatever, I’m not extremely curious and slightly bitter or anything.

Also, one cool thing about this video above is that it’s not fully colored yet, and toward the end it flashes back and forth between completed and not-so-completed footage. It’s pretty fascinating to see, even if you’re not the kind of grown ass person who thoroughly enjoys a good animated family comedy like myself.

The Zac Efron Avocado

zac_avocado

Holy guacamole!

The Washington Post has an interesting article in its Sunday edition about how Disney has been backing away from partnering with junk foods like McDonalds and is instead branding healthier foods like eggs and fruit with familiar faces.

One such product is the High School Musical avocado. When Disney stamps a product with a popular character, such as tween sensation Zac Efron, it “can’t help but benefit from the nag factor,” says Lance Gatewood, the vice president of Disney Consumer Products’ Food, Health & Beauty, North American division. And, when kids are begging their parents for something nutritious, like an avocado, he explains, it’s hard to say no. Parents are happy, growers are happy, grocers are happy, kids are happy and healthy, and, oh yeah, Disney is pleased, too. It turns out that seasonal fruits can be the perfect promotional platform for a film. Last summer’s avocado season coincided conveniently with the fall release of High School Musical 3. Besides the promotional boost, Disney earns back royalties on units sold. And, because of the Disney appeal, more units tend to sell. Sometimes it’s a lot more: Bagged-apple sales went up 47 percent during a High School Musical promotion at Winn-Dixie.

That’s all well and good, Disney, but promise me you’ll keep Zac Efron’s face off bananas in the foreseeable future. At least until his fan base is old enough that we know they won’t be using it as a “learning tool.”

(And yeah, bitches, I made that graphic myself. Don’t be jealous that my mad skillz extend to the visual arts.)

More Mel-odrama

Okay that was cheesy. But it stays.

So anyway…

Disney begins the delicate process of inching away from noted Jew-hater Mel Gibson, with ABC cancelling his upcoming miniseries about the Holocaust. I hope that was a no-brainer, ABC.

Next on Disney’s formidable chopping block may be Gibson’s latest passion project, Apocalypto, the Mayan-language tour-de-force that is, perhaps, a thinly veiled vehicle for Gibson’s long-held hatred of Spaniards (who, you gotta admit, have been responsible for their damn fair share of “all the wars in the world”). It’s hard to be sure, though, because, you know, the movie’s in fucking Mayan.

The trailers boast a release date of Summer 2006, but the latest data from Touchstone has the film slated for early December. Anyone know when the shift occurred?

Update: Never mind, Disney says they are going to move forward with the Mayan-language release of Apocalypto in December. The English-language release will follow never. And 73% of the country is so totally psyched for it!