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Ashlee Simpson

No one wants Ashlee Simpson’s wedding photos

ashlee simpson evan ross

Ashlee Simpson and fiancé Evan Ross made good on their engagement plans last weekend by marrying in a lavish ceremony… that no big news publication wants to pay for pictures of, apparently. You see, the Simpson family is famous for hawking pictures of major life events – they’ve counted on it for income for over a decade. The problem is, no one’s buying Ashlee’s shit.

From the New York Daily News:

“The Simpsons have a long history of selling pictures to magazines,” an insider tells Confidenti@l. “When Jessica was at the peak of her success with Nick Lachey, her dad made an exclusive several-part deal with OK! magazine. Just a few months ago, Jessica sold her most recent wedding pictures to People for $300,000. But now it seems no one cares about Ashlee anymore.”

“The only outlet that had expressed any real interest is People,” another insider said. “But they made it clear that a picture of the two sisters together would be better than a picture of Ashlee alone or with her groom. And (People) will not guarantee a cover.”

An hour after Confidenti@l contacted Simpson’s rep Janet Ringwood for comment, wedding photos were suddenly, and not exclusively, released for sale to any magazines or papers that were interested — in the late afternoon on Labor Day!

Well, that sucks. But seriously, can you name one thing Ashlee Simpson has done in the past 5 years BESIDES get married? I sure can’t – so why the hell is anyone acting like she’s still a celebrity?

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Ashlee Simpson Engaged to Evan Ross

ashlee simpson evan ross

The last time we heard from Ashlee Simpson, she was partying hard, getting her drink on and having some lesbian flings. Somewhere between then and now, she apparently met boyfriend Evan Ross and fell in love because now they’re engaged to be married. Woohoo! Evan is Diana Ross’ son, and they apparently “went public” with their relationship over the summer, though she’s so far off the A list at this point, it’s no wonder we never heard about it.

In any case, both Ashlee and Evan announced their happy news on Twitter, as you do:


I literally have never had less to say about a couple in my life than I do about these two. They look a hot mess, but love is love and here’s hoping it works out for them!

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Pete Wentz Isn’t Too Happy With Ashlee Simpson’s Drinking and Lesbian Flings

ashlee simpson pete wentz pics

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz split up ages ago, but they do have a kid together who they named after a borough of New York and a character from The Jungle Book, which explains why Pete isn’t so happy that Ashlee’s been going wild in recent months, partying hard and even engaging in lesbian flings (ooh la la)! Basically, he’s told her to calm the hell down and start acting more like a mother and less like a carefree 18-year-old with an experimental side.

From Radar Online:

“Ashlee is in the dog house right now with Pete,” a source tells Radar. “He’s concerned that she’s burning the candle at both ends and worried about the effect on Bronx if she continues in this current state.

“Pete’s told Ashlee that enough is enough, and she has to cut back on the partying. He’s even spoken to [her mom] Tina to get her take on the matter and make sure that he’s not overreacting in any way. She reassured him that he isn’t and said she’s been worried about Ashlee too.”

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Ashlee displayed some “out of control” behavior at a Hollywood hotspot recently.

“She was downing drinks like there was no tomorrow,” according to an eyewitness, who exclusively told Star magazine the star was throwing back cocktails at Pink Taco.

“She asked for a straight shot and added it to her already mixed cocktail,” the source added.

I have to say, if it was Pete Wentz out drinking and making out, no one would raise an eyebrow, but because women are held to some ridiculous standards and are called crazy, wild sluts if they don’t adhere to them, this is a story. It really chaps my hide. Do I think she probably needs to settle it down and pay more attention to her responsibilities? Yes, of course. But do I think that being a mother means you’re nothing but a mother and not still a woman and, you know, a person who might want to let off a little steam and chill the hell out without your kid attached to you 24/7? Duh.

Ashlee Simpson Is Jealous of Jessica’s Baby

A photo of Ashlee Simpson

You know, I’m a lot like Anne Frank in that despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart. There are a few exceptions, of course, but I truly believe that as a whole, humans really do mean well. But that’s not to say that the vast majority of people can’t be really shitty at times, because obviously they can, Ashlee Simpson:

When Ashlee Simpson gave birth to her son, Bronx, three and a half years ago, her sister, Jessica, was a doting aunt.

“Jessica also sent gifts,” a family friend says. But when Jessica became a mom on May 1, Ashlee didn’t return the affection.

“Ashlee is jealous of the attention and the money Jessica is getting for losing her baby weight,” the friend reports. The source says Ashlee, 27, has always had a chip on her shoulder about growing up in Jessica’s shadow. When Bronx was born, Ashlee felt like she had a leg up, because all eyes were on her – but now, thanks to Maxi, Jessica has stolen the spotlight again. Ashlee’s responded by checking out of her sister’s life.

“She doesn’t call, and she certainly doesn’t help Jessica,” the friend says. Jessica was so hurt that she chose her pal CaCee Cobb to be her daughter’s godmother, instead of her sister. “She misses Ashlee,’ says the friend. “But she’s really angry that she doesn’t give a sh-t about her niece.”

People like this drive me absolutely crazy because they refuse to just grow the f-ck up already. I can’t stand it, and I really don’t understand it. If Ashlee is really ignoring Jess and her baby because she’s jealous of the attention she’s getting, then she can just go eat a bag of dicks as far as I’m concerned. Or, more appropriately, she can go eat a bag of penis candy with Suri, because she’s acting like a goddamn child. Grow. Up.

Another thing that pisses me off about this, as long as I’m ranting: why do people let relationships suffer because of such trivial things? I hate when people think that a relationship exists on very specific terms, and if those terms evolve, then that automatically means that it’s over. Do you know what I mean? Like, for instance, with Jessica and Ashlee, and Ashlee is the mom, and Jess is the fun cute simple girl, but then something changes and boom, relationship over. Why can’t someone just say “oh, time has passed, and things change, so our relationship has to change with the times”? Wouldn’t that be easier than bitching and moaning about everything? Like, if something really meant all that much to you, wouldn’t you just accept that it’s going to evolve instead of making things unnecessarily difficult and/or completely cutting all ties?

See, who needs therapy when I’ve got you guys!

Love It or Leave It: Ashlee Simpson is Out in Public Again

photo of ashlee simpson pictures blonde hair pic
So I’m not going to go ahead and say that I *like* Ashlee Simpson, because I pretty much think she’s a total tool in a matter of speaking (honestly, she’s an entire toolkit), but she is looking pretty good in these photos.

I’m also not going to go ahead and say that the nose job she got was the best thing she’s ever done for her face (because this haircut is probably the best thing she’s ever done for her face), but it’s definitely a close second. Not that there was anything particularly wrong with her face the way it was, but the nose job certainly does something a little more different than what she had to begin with. If, you know, you’re into that whole cookie-cutter everyone-looks-the-same look. You know?

Last, you want to know what would make her appearance even better? If she stopped making that stupid faux-”fierce” egg-suck face that she makes, because God. It’s completely atrocious.

How are we feeling about Ashlee Simpson these days? Can we forgive her for her past misgivings of lip-syncing and running out on her generally-endearing husband to pursue a punk-rock career? I mean, I can’t, but that’s not what we’re really talking about here. We’re talking about the look, and I guess I can say that it’s OK. I suppose.

Everybody Loves Jessica Simpson’s Baby

A photo of Ashlee Simpson and Jessica Simpson

But especially Ashlee Simpson and her son, Bronx.

From People:

Just hours after Jessica Simpson gave birth to daughter Maxwell Drew, her sister Ashlee Simpson says she’s smitten with the newest family member.

“Bronx and I are in love with Maxwell already!” Ashlee, who is mom to 3-year-old son Bronx, tells PEOPLE exclusively. “Jessica has wanted to be a mom since we were little girls and I couldn’t be more excited for her and Eric!”

Ashlee has already begun spoiling her niece: In March, she gifted her with a tiny Fendi dress and matching garment bag while celebrating the impending birth at Jessica’s Charlotte’s Web-themed baby shower.

“Ever since Ashlee had Bronx, we’ve become closer and closer,” Jessica told PEOPLE at the time. “I’m glad that our babies are just going to be three years apart.”

So is Bronx, who can’t wait to have a little playmate.

“He records songs on my sister’s iPhone about the things he wants to do with the baby, like swim in the ocean and go to the playground,” Jessica said. “The first one just made me cry. We’re making a CD of them – it was the best gift of all.”

How excited are you over Jessica Simpson’s baby? Is it weird to be so excited? Is it weird to have spent last night outside, waiting for a shooting star so that you could make a wish that Jess would post a picture of that big ol’ baby* on Twitter in a few weeks? That’s totally normal, right?

*Little Maxwell Drew Simpson was born at nine pounds and 13 ounces, and she’s just under 22 inches long. I did a tiny bit of research, since I know some of you were wondering, and according to good ol’ Wikipedia, it looks like the average weight of a full-term baby is seven and a half pounds with mostly all of then falling in the six to ten pound range, and the average length is anywhere from 14 to 20 inches. So the baby’s just a tiny bit heavier and a little bit taller than average, in case you wanted to know. She’s also probably one of the most precious things the world’s ever seen.

Praise the Lord, Ashlee Simpson Can Stop Flat-Ironing Her Hair Now

photo of ashlee simpson tanned flat ironed straight hair style pictures photos pics
Remember awhile back I wrote a Katy Perry post about her new GHD Hair gig and how – ugh – no one flat irons their hair anymore? Well, a lot of you guys had some strong opinions about taming the shrews atop your heads, and I felt proper told when all of the readers claim that they have coarse, unmanageable hair much like myself, but they actually do something about it. My opinion was, hey, they must work outside of the home and care what they look like in public (not like, you know, me, who works from home and often grocery shops sporting bedhead).

Well some friends at Misikko sent me an email, asking me if I’d be interested in trying out the HANA Air hairdryer. I was skeptical, since it was a damn hairdryer and not a follicle transplant, but said OK. I mean, who’d I be to turn down trying out something new? Well, needless to say, when it arrived, I was surprised to find that I was the proud owner of the best hair dryer OF ALL TIME. No joke. I’ve gotten stuff from other companies to try out, and I was – in a lot of cases – like, “Ugh, really? You’re trying to push this stuff on the general public and you need lab mice to tell you that it sucks?” but this was – happily – not the case.

I’d originally specified in the Katy Perry post that I suffered unruly hair that wasn’t quite curly – yet wasn’t quite wavy – and damned if it’d actually do something regular like hang normal, but after using this hair dryer (and only this hair dryer – no special serums or lotions) I was amazed to see that my hair looked frizz-free, shiny, and healthy. I’d used salon hair dryers before, but none of them – none of them could touch this product. Now, all I have to do is dry my hair and I can leave the house looking like a normal human being with good hygiene habits. Amazing, right?

You guys can stalk Misikko on their Facebook and Twitter if you’d like – you’ll see that I’m not the only one completely raving about their products.