Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Anna Nicole Smith

John McCain Meeting Anna Nicole Smith

Here’s some interesting footage that recently surfaced of John McCain meeting Anna Nicole Smith backstage at an event several years ago. McCain is very sweet to Anna, and even references an episode of her show. What breaks my heart here is the look back at Anna’s television show. My God, why didn’t someone do something back then? I guess there’s not much that could have been done, but still. The writing was on the wall. Poor Anna, and poor Daniel.

Banned Boob


It’s official.  You need to think of something else to get Gamma for the holidays because the Anna Nicole Smith breast surgery video is not going to be available for gift giving.

This legal case has been going on since July 2007.  How does it take over a year to determine that an unconcious, naked woman isn’t consenting to being videotaped?  And it wasn’t like this was some sort of instructional how-to for med students. 

I’m no lawyer but let me have my Miss Cleo moment here.  Honing in on Anna….ommmm…(profuse REM-like eye rolling)…  OK.  I’m back with a message from Anna: 

She does not consent to a video tape of ALL of her naked body being videotaped while she’s under and having the footage scored to the Jaws theme.  No surgi-porn.  Case closed.

Anna Nicole, may you and your breast finally get some rest.

When Life Tragically Results in the Untimely Death of Your More Attractive Sister, Make Lemonade


Or, you know, a cold, grossly exploitative book with a title to match. Anna Nicole Smith’s sister, Donna Hogan, revealed her new book, titled — I am dead fucking serious here — Train Wreck: The Life and Death of Anna Nicole Smith in New York City on Tuesday. Oh. My. God. I don’t know what is more nauseating here, Donna: the fact that you have compared the life and death of your sister to a train wreck, or the fact that you did so two months after her death. I don’t know how long it takes to write and publish a book like this, but I’m sure it takes more than a couple weeks, meaning that this bitch has been planning this shit since before her sister’s body was buried. I’d expect this from some random journalist hack who’d covered her life and death, but from her sister? Jesus. No wonder that woman was willing to do anything to get out of Mexia.

More Details on the Dannielynn Paternity Case…


After spending almost two hours in a Bahamian courtroom sans cameras, Larry Birkhead emerged victorious on Tuesday afternoon, as a doctor told the judge that the DNA tests revealed that he was the father of Anna Nicole’s baby, Dannielynn, with “99.9999% certainty.”

When asked about the paternity results, Howard K. Stern, who is currently listed on the birth certificate as Dannielynn’s father, stayed true to his word. “I am obviously very disappointed … I am not going to fight Larry Birkhead for custody. I will do everything I can to make sure he gets sole custody.” Stern and Birkhead hugged after leaving the courtroom, and Stern invited Birkhead to his house, where Dannielynn currently resides, to spend as much time with the baby as he wants.

The only reason Birkhead would not get custody at this point is Anna’s mother, Virgie Arthur, who had no role in this child’s life before Anna’s death, because Anna hated her. I don’t know much about family law, but I have no idea how this kid could possibly go to Arthur when there’s a healthy adult parent who wants her. Arthur’s custody case is expected to be heard on Friday in the same Bahamian court.

We’ll of course keep you posted as the story develops…

Dannielynn Paternity Results Expected Tomorrow

I have no idea why I’m running this story. Maybe because everyone else is running it. It’s like the night before the Oscars, when everyone’s running these “It’s the Night Before the Oscars” stories and it doesn’t really matter because the decisions have been made and are sitting in an envelope at PricewaterhouseCoopers and the only thing that could possibly make the whole mess interesting is if somehow Talladega Nights won Best Picture as a write-in candidate. I think everyone kind of knows Larry Birkhead is the daddy right now. Even Howard K. Stern is starting to backpedal. Personally, I hope something more exciting happens. I hope, like, the Broward County Medical Examiner happened to have, say, Matt Lauer’s DNA on file, and the kid turns out to be his. I want it to be something like that.

Maybe we should liveblog the Dannielynn paternity revealing. Do you think the whole thing will be televised? Probably. Lars, you want this one?

Anyway, we’ll get the results of the DNA testing tomorrow. We’ll keep you posted around here.

Anna Nicole’s Diaries up for Auction


The race has begun for ownership of the Anna Nicole Smith diaries. The floor auction will take place April 14-15 in Dallas, TX, but the online auction has already begun. For sale are two diaries were written by Anna between 1992 and 1994. Smith divorced her first husband (and Daniel’s father) in February 1993, and married J. Howard Marshall in June of 1994.

It’s pretty heartbreaking to read these diaries and remember that Smith was not always the larger-than-life caricature of herself that we all remember. “Someone ran over my cat yesterday I was real sad,” she writes in 1992. “Clay came over last nite to give me some sleeping pills… I need to diet Going to try out for a movie part. Hope I get it. I could be a great actress… Everybody went crazy when I went on stage It felt so good… Paul Marciana [Guess co-chairman] sent me a package!! He’s comming to meet me on Sun. Cant wait!!…Please God let him love me!!…This could be it.” The diaries are filled with smiley faces and angry faces, depending on Smith’s mood.

She also discusses her love of her second husband, billionaire J. Howard Marshall. In 1994, she writes “My husbands very sick and weak, Theres nothing I can do I want each hour to comfort him with medicines and prayers… When you touch him Im afraid he might break… Sometimes he tries to smile and give me such hope, he a fighter and I believe he can make it…If Jesus desides to take him I dont no what I’ll do. I love him so much… Sometimes I think of awlful things like hes going to die…I dont think I would be stable enough to go to his funeral if he died… I need some support and I have none… I can’t dare sleep cause he will pull out that breathing tube. No one else stays here but a few minutes. But im his wife and I want to be here… Ive cried so much I dont have any tears…”

There are additional mentions of the struggles with pills that eventually killed her. On June 13, 1992, she writes, “Hung over!! Feel like shit! Stayed home watched movie! Took a Zandrex!” I assume that here she either is referring to Xanax, the anti-anxiety drug, or Zantrex, the weight-loss drug. Probably Xanax.

Special thanks to Celebitchy for the screen shots of the diaries.

anna_diary1.jpg anna_diary2.jpg anna_diary3.jpg anna_diary4.jpg anna_diary5.jpg anna_diary6.jpg