Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Have We Solved the Mystery of Anna Nicole’s Death?


Who needs a medical examiner when you have Star magazine? While the Broward County coroner is scheduled to make an announcement with the cause of Anna Nicole’s death on Monday morning, Star and National Enquirer (in a “joint newsgathering operation,” because they’re both owned by AMI and Star couldn’t find a celeb scoop with two hands and flashlight) are claiming to have already solved the mystery: Anna died of an overdose of chloral hydrate, a sleeping medication, which she was probably taking in very high doses because she was suffering from a blood infection, which would have eventually killed her not long after the sleeping pills did.

That good enough for ya? Honestly, that’s pretty damn good. So we’ll back up a little and give you some choice quotes from Star’s article.

[J]ust before she left the Bahamas for Florida on February 5 … Anna Nicole received an injection in her left buttock. Tests did not reveal what that substance was. “As she boarded the plane for Miami, Anna Nicole developed a painful abscess at the site of the injection,” said a source with knowledge of the case. “The needle wasn’t sterile. The pain kept getting worse as the abscess got larger and larger very quickly.”

Anna Nicole, unaware that her blood was being poisoned by infection, had also developed a second infection from a virulent form of norovirus, which causes intestinal problems.

Anna Nicole — and her entourage — made a fatal mistake. She refused to go to a hospital, a decision that would have saved her life. Instead, Anna’s people gave her an ice bath to control the fever, administered the antibiotic ciprofloxacin by mouth and gave her an over-the-counter flu medicine. As the needle-caused infection took over her body, she began vomiting, had severe diarrhea and could not urinate.

Anna just wanted some respite from the pain, so she took way too much chloral hydrate (this is the same stuff you see in suspense movies when the bad guy puts a cloth over the victim’s mouth and they pass out — that’s how intense this stuff is). She fell asleep, and never woke up.

Is it true? I’m going with yes. First off, it’s a fairly complex story to have been invented. I mean, a septic abscess? You can’t make that up. You just wouldn’t. There’s nothing glamorous about it. It’s a fantastically plebian way to die. Perhaps most importantly, AMI is so confident they’re right that they pinned both Star and National Enquirer‘s name on it. When these mags are not sure, they hedge their bets and have their titles run different stories. So my guess is we’ll hear a very similar story from the mouth of the Broward County coroner on Monday morning, but only time will tell.

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