Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Love It or Leave It: Katy Perry’s Patterns

This is Katy Perry, leaving the El Ray Theater in Los Angeles last night, and though I’m not a fan of crazy, funky patterns, generally speaking, I do like this ensemble. The shoes suck, because you know how I hate ankle boots, but the rest of the outfit really, really works for me.

… You know what they say about busy patterns, though, don’t you? Because they say that sometimes women wear busy patterns to distract people from the fact that they have a burgeoning bump around their midsection, and I’m not going to say that Katy’s knocked up with John Mayer’s child (because that’s just a frightening, frightening notion to behold), but I’m also not going to say that Katy’s not knocked up with John Mayer‘s child. That’s all.

Oh, and also? Since we’re being so random? As I enter my final week as Managing Editor for Evil Beet Gossip, I just wanted to put it out there that I have a newly-created Twitter account for those of you interested in keeping touch after the transition. Gonna miss y’all a lot! You can follow me here if you’d like.

Oranges. Dumbbell. Intersection.

 

theAMlinks

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This is who’s directing the new ‘Star Wars’ movie. [The Superficial]

Adele’s little man. [Lainey Gossip]

The best Gemma Arterton’s ever looked probably. [Splash]

Sandra Bullock’s wax figure is actually really good. [Starpulse]

Jeremy Renner doesn’t care if people think he’s gay. [Cele|bitchy]

Michael Moore defends ‘Zero Dark Thirty’. [Huff Po]

Shakira’s little man. [Lainey Gossip]

But who’s that licking a waxed Britney Spears? [The Superficial]

Also, ‘Star Wars’ engagement rings. [The Frisky]

Blind Items: who’s a bad, bad mom? [I'm Not Obsessed]

Julia Stiles’ makeover. [Yeeeah]

This will get you motivated—or depress you, one or the other. [theBERRY]

Halle Berry is pathetic, embarrassing. [Amy Grindhouse]

Nicole Kidman gives lapdances. [Bohomoth]

Bruce Wayne’s alter-ego is Christian Bale. [IDLYITW]

Marisa Tomei’s getting married. [Hollywood PQ]

Paris Fashion Week’s wardrobe malfunctions. [Moe Jackson]

Kris Humphries doesn’t want Kim Kardashian’s money. [Bossip]

Downtown Abbey beauty secrets. [Celebzter]

Joaquin Phoenix: Would You, Still?

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Oh Joaquin Phoenix. How you’re still such an important part of my entertainment life. Even when you said “bye! Good” to us, I never stopped loving you. Even when you embarked on a drunken “rap career,” I maintained my adoration. Throughout everything—any by “everything,” I mean the “massive fleecing you put over on all of us boned us with“—I stood by you, because you’re one of my main men.

This new look, though. This baggedy, raggedy sheepdog look you’ve got going on, dude: it is not flattering. Can I take you for a walk somewhere real quick-like? Can we journey on a trip down memory lane? Because for real, this is how I love my Joaquin:

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Or, you know, even this:

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Yeah, this is a little bit on the skinny side, but it’s still totally hot.

Last, let’s just look at this one time—this being the hottest photo probably ever taken:

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Now. Can we do something about that … that f-cking bedraggledness that’s all resting up on your shoulders? Please?