Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Sarah Palin launches her own TV “news” channel

sarah palin

If there’s one person I never, ever want to hear the news filtered through, it’s Sarah Palin. The woman exists on her own plane of non-reality and is so supremely ignorant on so many topics that I can’t begin to list them all. That’s why it makes perfect sense for her to start her own TV news channel, I suppose, aptly called the Sarah Palin Channel.

From Digital Spy:

The former Republican vice presidential candidate has set up the subscription-based website to speak “directly” to the public, without having to “please the powers that be”.The Sarah Palin Channel launched on Sunday (July 27) and already features videos on Russian President Vladimir Putin, as well as a quote of the day.

She has also included a running tally of the national debt and a countdown timer of the days left for Barack Obama’s administration.

In addition to her political life, Palin has appeared as a Fox News Channel contributor.

Full access to the Sarah Palin Channel costs $9.95 (£5.86) a month or $99.95 (£58.84) a year.

I suppose it only makes sense that one of the first figures she features on her channel is Putin, since she can see Russia from her back yard and all.

Here’s a video announcing this travesty. I hope this thing fails IMMEDIATELY. The last thing we need is even more batshit crazy “politicians” spreading their bullshit. Thankfully you’d have to be an idiot to pay to see this anyway, so the rest of the world can finally live in a dose of Palin’s blissful ignorance without it.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Sarah Palin Thinks the ‘Duck Dynasty’ Homophobia Is No Biggie

sarah palin duck dynasty

I don’t watch Duck Dynasty – I don’t even know what the show’s about, to be honest – but I do know it’s gotten massive popular and people seem to love it. Well, one of the stars of the show, Phil Robertson, gave an interview with GQ recently in which he made a bunch of anti-gay remarks that got him suspended indefinitely from the show. Here’s what he said, for reference:

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers – they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

“It seems like, to me, a vagina – as a man – would be more desirable than a man’s anus. [But] we never, ever judge someone on who’s going to heaven, hell. That’s the Almighty’s job. We just love ‘em, give ‘em the good news about Jesus – whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort ‘em out later, you see what I’m saying?”

LOL, okay. You keep praying to your invisible sky fairy then, Grandpappy. I mean, listen – there’s no doubt that this bro doesn’t like gay people and is homophobic. However, it’s kinda that passive redneck bullshit. He’s a 67-year-old man from Louisiana who also thinks that black people were never treated poorly before the Civil Rights movement. We’re not exactly dealing with an Einstein here. Unfortunately, this kind of ignorance and hate is some of the most harmful because it’s so passive, but I doubt we’re going to solve any world issues here, so let’s leave that.

The important thing is, Pat has found a friend who supports his rights to speak out in intolerance, and that’s none other than our pal Sarah Palin, who felt it so important an issue, she took to her Facebook page to voice her feelings.

Free speech is an endangered species. Those “intolerants” hatin’ and taking on the Duck Dynasty patriarch for voicing his personal opinion are taking on all of us.

Well, that’s that, I suppose.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Sarah Palin’s Back and She’s Writing a Book About Christ-Mas

sarah palin

If you were just about at the end of your 12-step program to forget Sarah Palin exists in this world, I’m sorry to bring you back down again. The former Alaskan governor and VP candidate has found another way to ruin your life: by ruining Christmas and writing a book about how much more Jesus it needs.

A Happy Holiday Is a Merry Christmas will include some private Palin family Christmas activities/observances and will probably make you hate the month of December if you look at it, so I’d avoid it. Here’s what she said about the project in a statement:

“Amidst the fragility of this politically correct era, it is imperative that we stand up for our beliefs before the element of faith in a glorious and traditional holiday like Christmas is marginalised and ignored.

“This will be a fun, festive, thought provoking book, which will encourage all to see what is possible when we unite in defense of our faith and ignore the politically correct Scrooges who would rather take Christ out of Christmas.”

Listen lady, Christmas shopping is the biggest coup for the retail industry in history, so the holiday is hardly “marginalised and ignored”, nor are the people who celebrate it. Second of all, ever heard of “freedom of religion”? That means that not everyone shares your beliefs about Baby Jesus and angels and whatever other stuff floats your boat. You’re free to observe however you wish, of course, and hopefully you and your loved ones enjoy those celebrations, but to act like you’re “ignored” for being a Christian is bullshit. If it were true, your Christian values wouldn’t be attempting to tell women how to govern their own bodies, couples who can and cannot get married… I mean, need I go on?

All that being said, I’m a Christmas freak. I love the music, the movies, the twinkly lights, THE FOOD, the wrapping of presents, all of it. But I don’t love it for religious reasons – he’s hardly the “reason for the season” for most people these days – but because it’s great to have the day off work and spend time with people you love, getting fat on delicious food and exchanging gifts. That’s enough for me.

Oh, and Sarah Palin is the worst.

Quotables: Bristol Palin Disses Julianne Moore

A photo of Bristol Palin

“I don’t think she’s a good interpreter of my mom. I think my mom is way hotter than that.”

- Bristol Palin discusses Julianne Moore‘s portrayal of Sarah Palin in that HBO movie, Game Change. Bristol went on to say that “I think she doesn’t have that accent. It’s kind of silly, but my mom’s awesome.”

Are we really doing this, Bristol? Is this seriously going to happen?


A photo of Julianne Moore and Sarah Palin

Double boom:

A photo of Sarah Palin and Julianne Moore

I didn’t see the movie, so I can’t really comment on Julianne’s acting (though she is a good actor, so, you know, there’s that), but as for the comment that Sarah Palin is “way hotter” than that? Girl. Bristol, honey. No. Just no.

Quotables: Bristol Palin Isn’t Sorry For All That Reality TV

photo of bristol paliin 2012 plastic surgery pictures

“You’re going to talk about me if I’m in my little life in Alaska or if I’m in L.A., so I might as well just have fun with it. I just think that god provides opportunities like this, and you can either go out and do them or not do them.”

Bristol Palin on the recent announcement that she was chosen for the ‘Dancing With the Stars’ All-Star cast. Because, you know, people really, really care when her son’s got some new homophobic slurs that they need to hear, and to witness Bristol’s bad dancing and equally-bad parenting. Sure.

Thing is, Bristol? Here’s a little reality check—your mom’s no longer all that relevant, and you’re even less relevant than she, so no—people wouldn’t be talking about you if you were in Alaska because THEY’D FORGET ABOUT YOU. As it is, you’re in L.A., all up in people’s faces and televisions, and you’re a mockery to responsible young adults trying to make it on your own. You’re a joke and that’s why people are still talking about you.

Go away. Seriously.

Bristol Palin Is A Great Mom

If, for some strange reason, you find yourself not wanting to watch one minute and 38 seconds of Bristol Palin‘s parenting, let me summarize for you: Bristol takes her son, Tripp, with her to visit her sister, Willow. Tripp, who is four years old now (Bristol is 21, just so you know), is in that adorable “I hate you” stage that most children go through. Bristol tries to get him to stop saying it by telling him that God is watching him, but she starts laughing before she can finish. Tripp looks like he’s about to start a big ol’ hissy fit, and Bristol and Willow keep laughing. After another “I hate you,” Willow tells Tripp that if he doesn’t stop, she’s going to wash his mouth out with soap, and Tripp replies with “go away, you f-ggot.” Yeah. That’s still apparently funny to Bristol and Willow though, and then Bristol admits that she’s “doing a terrible job disciplining Tripp.” Right.

Look, I know that kids will hear bad words and repeat them, and I get that sometimes it’s kind of funny. But there’s a line, you know? One time, a kid that I was babysitting had apparently heard the word “shit” recently, and she kept repeating it. She’d just play with her toys and say it, over and over, and I explained to her that she shouldn’t be saying that word, but it was hard to keep a straight face when this tiny little toddler looked at me and exclaimed “shit! Shit!” But this other time, this other kid I was babysitting had heard someone say “adios, fat ass,” which is something that people say, I guess, and when she repeated that, it was definitely different. There was no laughter because what she was saying was mean, even though she didn’t know it, and there’s no chance that I was going to have any part in egging that on.

Babysitting is, I’m sure, a whole lot different than being a parent, but I can’t imagine watching your child call someone a f-ggot, especially when it’s clear that he has at least some grasp that the word is hurtful, and laughing. I would imagine that the conversation that would follow that would be a very serious one.

But hey, it’s not really that surprising that a Palin kid has homophobic slurs in his vocabulary, is it?

Everybody Hates Bristol Palin’s Reality Show

photo of bristol palin pictures life's a tripp pic review photo
Remember Bristol Palin was trying to cause a stir a few weeks back with her anti-gay speeches and condemnation of President Obama for actually, you know, taking the time to listen to his daughters and wife with some pretty important life advice and not treating them like personal property? Because I was right—she was definitely saying all that stuff to spur publicity for her new reality show, ‘Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp’. Which was aired on Lifetime. Who is apparently going down the tubes as we speak. Come on. Bristol Palin? Lindsay Lohan? Who’s next, LeAnn Rimes?

The show debuted last night, and media outlets all over the world are already claiming it to be complete and utter crap. Yay! Here’s a recap and review, courtesy of Yahoo!:

In the first episode, Bristol moves from Wasilla, Alaska to Los Angeles, allegedly to “show Tripp what’s out there.” (Because three-year-olds are so interested in the wider world.) She moves into a pre-fab Beverly Hills mansion and is joined by her 17-year-old sister Willow, who has come to help with the babysitting. The episode ends with an incident that was widely publicized during the show’s filming, in which Bristol goes out to a bar, rides a mechanical bull and gets in a fight with a heckler. The man calls her mother “a whore.” The following exchange in which Bristol concludes that he must be “a homosexual” did not air. (See the video here.)

The critics point out that Bristol’s parenting challenges aren’t quite the same as most people’s. Her childcare issues, writes Robert Lloyd in The Los Angles Times, “stem from not wanting to hire ‘some random baby-sitter,’ not from a lack of wherewithal.” Lloyd also points out that we see Bristol and Willow shop for groceries and clothing, “without Tripp…presumably looking after himself back at the mansion.” Lori Rackl of the Chicago Sun-Times notes that “The trio move into a Beverly Hills mansion where Bristol has to teach Tripp things like the difference between a bidet and a water fountain. No one said being a single mom was easy.”

Perhaps more disturbing for fans of the adorable, scene-stealing Tripp, Bristol’s son with her teenage-years boyfriend Levi Johnston, is the single mom’s willingness to torch Tripp’s dad on national television. Alessandra Stanley, reviewing the show in The New York Times, writes that “the show’s promos show Bristol putting Johnston’s memoir ‘Deer in the Headlights,’ on a range and firing at it with a rifle, saying, ‘This is for all the single moms.’” Stanley says that “Much of the narrative revolves around Bristol’s attempts to shame her ex-boyfriend into seeing his son.”

And if you thought this write-up was more toward “scathing” than “flattering,” this is what the New York Times had to say:

“That big sister-little sister dynamic [between Bristol and Willow] has some real-life resonance, but the “Teen Mom” poignancy is undercut by the palatial surroundings.”

And from the Washington Post:

“Even if you have a lasting grudge against all things Palin, there’s no payoff here. It’s a new low for anyone who makes the mistake of watching.”

And my personal favorite, from the Chicago Sun-Times:

“With the exception of the bull-ride-gone-bad scene, Bristol’s day-to-day life isn’t very interesting. Neither are the occasional shots where Sarah Palin pops up to offer homespun wisdom and maternal advice…. What we’re left with are Bristol and Willow shopping, squabbling and engaging in vapid conversations. In other words, the Alaskan Kardashians.”

Well. I guess we’re talking about some serious must-see TV here, guys. Would it be a crime against humanity if I actually tuned into the next episode? Because I’m kind of curious about this particular trainwreck-type thing that one of the most narrow-minded bitches in “Hollywood” wants to show us. You know. Just so I can mock it profusely.