Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Bristol Palin Now Claims Second Pregnancy Was Planned

bristol palin

Oh, come on. Known abstinence advocate Bristol Palin could not have sounded more miserable – not to mention the whole “I know everyone’s disappointed in me” malarky – when she announced this past week that she’s pregnant with her second child out of wedlock. It’s clear that she did not want this kid at all, but now that everyone’s pointed out the extreme irony of her being a judgmental asshole about everyone else’s sex life when she’s not practicing what she preaches, she’s suddenly backpeddling and claiming that actually, she totally planned to have this baby all along, dummies!

Here’s her latest blog entry:

So here are the things you should all get straight before you continue to mock me, judge me, and talk about me. 

None of us are perfect. 

I made a mistake, but it’s not the mistake all these giddy a$$holes have loved to assume.

This pregnancy was actually planned.

Everyone knows I wanted more kids, to have a bigger family.  Believing I was heading that way, I got ahead of myself. Things didn’t go as planned, but life keeps going. Life moves on. 

But I do not regret this baby. This baby is not a disappointment, and I cannot wait to be a mom times two. Tripp is going to make the best big brother!!

When I realized I was pregnant, I knew I would be completely crucified. But I never even thought of aborting this child, NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE. (Sorry to the ghouls at Gawker, who said this baby is an argument FOR abortion. Not happening.)

I am pregnant. This is not the ideal situation, but life is important even if it’s not in the most absolute ideal circumstance. This is more confirmation on what I’ve always stood for. I’ve always been pro-life and I am standing for life now.

Deal with it.

What Bristol doesn’t realise is that a) no one’s buying her bullshit and that b) she can deny whatever she wants and make up whatever bullshit she wants, but the fact remains that it’s always the people who are the most vocal assholes who end up violating the very “rules” they purport we all should live by. I don’t know if Bristol originally became the poster child for abstinence-only sex education because she was forced into it by her mother so she could save face with the conservatives, but she needs to get a fucking grip and maybe pick up some pamphlets on birth control.

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Bristol Palin Is Pregnant Again & She Doesn’t Need Your Lectures

bristol palin tripp

It must suck to live a life defined by an invisible being in the sky which you feel forces you to make decisions that are completely wrong for your life for fear of retribution. That’s what Bristol Palin is going through right now, since she’s pregnant again and doesn’t seem at all pleased about it. She’ll drag her way through it, of course, and hope God can help her, but there’s no joy in the news she shared on her blog on Thursday, that’s for sure. She knows you’re probably disappointed in her, but don’t worry, she’s even more disappointed in herself.

(I’m announcing this news a lot sooner than I ever expected due to the constant trolls who have nothing better to talk about!!!)

I wanted you guys to be the first to know that I am pregnant.

Honestly, I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my chin up on this one.

At the end of the day there’s nothing I can’t do with God by my side, and I know I am fully capable of handling anything that is put in front of me with dignity and grace.

Life moves on no matter what.  So no matter how you feel, you get up, get dressed, show up, and never give up.

When life gets tough, there is no other option but to get tougher.

I know this has been, and will be, a huge disappointment to my family, to my close friends, and to many of you.

But please respect Tripp’s and my privacy during this time. I do not want any lectures and I do not want any sympathy.

My little family always has, and always will come first.

Tripp, this new baby, and I will all be fine, because God is merciful.

Jesus! (No pun intended.) What a shit show. I’m certainly not judging her for another out of wedlock pregnancy b/c I have my own life to live and who gives a rat’s ass, but maybe she ought to finally serve herself up a slice of humble pie and learn that if she doesn’t want to be judged, maybe don’t align herself with people and a faith that relishes casting judgment on others. Also, man, it must really suck not to be able to do the right thing for yourself and your family by having an abortion, if that’s what the right decision is. I’m sure she’ll be fine, at least financially, but this news is sad as hell for more reasons than the obvious.

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Sarah Palin Brings Lena Dunham Into Josh Duggar’s Molestation Scandal

sarah palin lena dunham

Why am I not surprised that Sarah Palin would a) defend Josh Duggar being a sexual predator b) try to make the issue about something else entirely by going for a “liberal” to distract from the real issue? That’s indeed what’s happened, however. You see, Sarah thinks it’s bad of us to condemn the Duggars for their deplorable behavior when Lena Dunham ostensibly molested her younger sister as a child.

I’m just going to embed Palin’s entire Facebook post here, because it’s pretty lengthy and oh, believe you me, it’s worth reading:


Posted by Sarah Palin on Thursday, 4 June 2015

A few observations/comments now that we’ve all made it through that:

1. Lena Dunham IS deplorable. What she did was not only completely unacceptable, but the fact that she found it “story-worthy” and an endearing anecdote to put in her memoir is disturbing. I cannot stand Dunham (for more than that reason, but that’s a MAJOR one) and I do believe what she did counts as sexual abuse.

2. That being said, Dunham’s behavior literally has zero to do with Josh Duggar’s. They don’t know one another, they’ve never met, they’re not in the same circle… I mean, what? Only Palin could turn what is an issue that affects EVERYONE into a political one. She should be ashamed of herself, but I feel like we should know by now that’s not a feeling she’s capable of.

3. The reason everyone is going after Josh Duggar – who, let’s be clear, is a SERIAL OFFENDER who continued to commit these acts of pedophilia, molestation, and incest over a NUMBER of years and seemingly thought it was funny – AND his family is because the family is in this together. Not only did they do nothing to protect their daughters – HIS VICTIMS – but they did everything to conceal what he did from everyone and have consistently lied about it since. It’s disgusting.

4. Just because Dunham did something terrible doesn’t preclude Josh Duggar from doing something terrible or anyone else, either. There’s room enough for more than one asshole in this world. Palin’s entire Republican party proves that on a daily basis. You know, if you want to make it about politics.


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Sarah Palin responds to PETA: ‘At least Trig didn’t eat the dog’

sarah palin dog

Oh, Sarah Palin. So dumb, yet so argumentative. After receiving loads of heat for posting photos of her 6-year-old son Trig standing on the family dog and using it as a step stool, she decided to fire back at the critics – PETA in particular – to say that everyone needs to cool their jets about this. I mean, after all, at least Trig didn’t eat the dog!

Here’s her letter (yes, this is serious):

Dear PETA,

Chill. At least Trig didn’t eat the dog.

Hey, by the way, remember your “Woman of the Year”, Ellen DeGeneres? Did you get all wee-wee’d up when she posted this sweet picture?…/peta-woman-year-posts-phot… Hypocritical, much?

Did you go as crazy when your heroic Man-of-Your-Lifetime, Barack Obama, revealed he actually enjoyed eating dead dog meat?

Aren’t you the double-standard radicals always opposing Alaska’s Iditarod – the Last Great Race honoring dogs who are born to run in wide open spaces, while some of your pets “thrive” in a concrete jungle where they’re allowed outdoors to breathe and pee maybe once a day? (

Aren’t you the same herd that opposes our commercial fishing jobs, claiming I encourage slaying and consuming wild, organic healthy protein sources called “fish”? (I do.)

Aren’t you the same anti-beef screamers blogging hate from your comfy leather office chairs, wrapped in your fashionable leather belts above your kickin’ new leather pumps you bought because your celebrity idols (who sport fur and crocodile purses) grinned in a tabloid wearing the exact same Louboutins exiting sleek cowhide covered limo seats on their way to some liberal fundraiser shindig at some sushi bar that features poor dead smelly roe (that I used to strip from our Bristol Bay-caught fish, and in a Dillingham cannery I packed those castoff fish eggs for you while laughing with co-workers about the suckers paying absurdly high prices to party with the throw away parts of our wild seafood)? I believe you call those discarded funky eggs “caviar”.

Yeah, you’re real credible on this, PETA. A shame, because I’ll bet we agree on what I hope is the true meaning of your mission – respecting God’s creation and critters.

Our pets, including Trig’s best buddy Jill Hadassah, are loved, spoiled and cared for more than some people care for their fellow man whose politics may not mesh with nonsensical liberally failed ways or don’t fit your flighty standards.

Jill is a precious part of our world. So is Trig.

- Sarah Palin

LOL, wait a minute – when did Obama say he ate and/or enjoyed “dead dog meat”? I’m seriously laughing at that. Also, what grown ass woman says “all wee-wee’d up” in a serious way (or at all)? And how is it possible that one person can be so very misguided in every sense of the word? PETA sucks hard – nearly as hard as Sarah Palin, so we’re on the same page there – but if you’re going to come for them, at least know what the hell you’re talking about.

1. That is not Ellen’s child, and Ellen DeGeneres did not personally share that photograph. It was posted on her social media probably by some intern who runs it – though some have said it is her goddaughter. Not sure if that’s true.  Sarah Palin posted a photo that SHE took of HER child. Not really comparable.

2. PETA offices have leather chairs and they idolize leather and fur wearing celebrities? Uh, I thought they actually went for them/threw paint at them/etc? So…

3. Sarah Palin hunts FROM HELICOPTERS for sport. Not to eat, not to help cull overbred populations or anything of the sort. For fun. From a helicopter.

4. Why is the dog’s middle name Hadassah?

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Sarah Palin’s son uses the family dog as a step stool

sarah palin trig dog

Well, here’s a disheartening tale of (alleged) animal cruelty for your Saturday. Sarah Palin‘s 6-year-old son Trig uses the family dog, a gorgeous black lab, as a step stool to reach the counter. Apparently Sarah thought this was endearing and worth sharing with her Facebook masses, but suffice it to say a lot of people were not impressed with the fact that the poor dog is being trampled on.

Now look, Trig has a disability, sure – he was born with Down Syndrome – but as an apparently intelligent adult, it is Palin’s job to teach her son how to properly interact with animals, other people, etc. And one thing you would obviously tell a child and enforce is that pets are to be loved, walked, played with, stroked… NOT stood on.  It doesn’t matter how little Trig is, or that he doesn’t weigh that much, etc. You don’t STAND ON A DOG.

I suppose we shouldn’t expect more from a woman dumb enough to think she can see Russia from her back yard, but people that stupid shouldn’t be allowed to own animals, either.

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Sarah Palin launches her own TV “news” channel

sarah palin

If there’s one person I never, ever want to hear the news filtered through, it’s Sarah Palin. The woman exists on her own plane of non-reality and is so supremely ignorant on so many topics that I can’t begin to list them all. That’s why it makes perfect sense for her to start her own TV news channel, I suppose, aptly called the Sarah Palin Channel.

From Digital Spy:

The former Republican vice presidential candidate has set up the subscription-based website to speak “directly” to the public, without having to “please the powers that be”.The Sarah Palin Channel launched on Sunday (July 27) and already features videos on Russian President Vladimir Putin, as well as a quote of the day.

She has also included a running tally of the national debt and a countdown timer of the days left for Barack Obama’s administration.

In addition to her political life, Palin has appeared as a Fox News Channel contributor.

Full access to the Sarah Palin Channel costs $9.95 (£5.86) a month or $99.95 (£58.84) a year.

I suppose it only makes sense that one of the first figures she features on her channel is Putin, since she can see Russia from her back yard and all.

Here’s a video announcing this travesty. I hope this thing fails IMMEDIATELY. The last thing we need is even more batshit crazy “politicians” spreading their bullshit. Thankfully you’d have to be an idiot to pay to see this anyway, so the rest of the world can finally live in a dose of Palin’s blissful ignorance without it.

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Sarah Palin Thinks the ‘Duck Dynasty’ Homophobia Is No Biggie

sarah palin duck dynasty

I don’t watch Duck Dynasty – I don’t even know what the show’s about, to be honest – but I do know it’s gotten massive popular and people seem to love it. Well, one of the stars of the show, Phil Robertson, gave an interview with GQ recently in which he made a bunch of anti-gay remarks that got him suspended indefinitely from the show. Here’s what he said, for reference:

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers – they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

“It seems like, to me, a vagina – as a man – would be more desirable than a man’s anus. [But] we never, ever judge someone on who’s going to heaven, hell. That’s the Almighty’s job. We just love ‘em, give ‘em the good news about Jesus – whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort ‘em out later, you see what I’m saying?”

LOL, okay. You keep praying to your invisible sky fairy then, Grandpappy. I mean, listen – there’s no doubt that this bro doesn’t like gay people and is homophobic. However, it’s kinda that passive redneck bullshit. He’s a 67-year-old man from Louisiana who also thinks that black people were never treated poorly before the Civil Rights movement. We’re not exactly dealing with an Einstein here. Unfortunately, this kind of ignorance and hate is some of the most harmful because it’s so passive, but I doubt we’re going to solve any world issues here, so let’s leave that.

The important thing is, Pat has found a friend who supports his rights to speak out in intolerance, and that’s none other than our pal Sarah Palin, who felt it so important an issue, she took to her Facebook page to voice her feelings.

Free speech is an endangered species. Those “intolerants” hatin’ and taking on the Duck Dynasty patriarch for voicing his personal opinion are taking on all of us.

Well, that’s that, I suppose.

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