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7The Justin Bieber Sex Tape is Probably Happening

photo of justin bieber pictures photos twitter pic
At least according to his stolen laptop, which apparently had a lot of personal “footage” on there. The only “footage” I could see causing a problem for Justin would, of course, be a sex tape. Are we going to see a Justin Bieber sex tape? God, I don’t know. The idea positively frightens me, and before I can actually consider what that might be like, I’m brought to think of Hulk Hogan and his sex tape, where he bangs the chick and immediately starts talking about how much of a pig he is because he ate [fill in the blank] not ten minutes ago. I think it’d be like that. I also think it’d probably involve that weird thing that people used to do, which I’d call “drinking tons of milk and vomiting over hotel balconies,” because I’m certain that’s what an eighteen-year-old punk who thinks his dick is God’s gift to older women the world over would think is some darn good FOREPLAY.

I mean, don’t ask me why. It’s not like I was the one who had the foresight to steal his notebook, it’s just my suspicions. You know.

October 11, 2012 at 9:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Justin Bieber

7 Responses to “The Justin Bieber Sex Tape is Probably Happening”

  1. Bus says:

    I doubt it’s anything really bad. Why else would he advertise that there was personal content on there? It can be ‘assumed’ … unless he’s just a complete moron … *thinking* … ok, it’s a sex tape.

    best case scenario: there’s a sex tape and a woman is involved

    worst case scenario: it’s a solo masturbation video with him vomiting

  2. cocopuffsaredelicious says:

    Could be him doing drugs too like the whole Miley scandal.

  3. none says:

    Please. Selena is Bieber’s beard and a lesbian as well. No way there’s a tape.

  4. Sara says:

    Is this just promoting his new song with Nicki Minaj? The music video has the whole theme of using “personal footage” ..could just be publicity for it?

  5. Renee says:

    We’ll I love Justin bieber and I love hearing about his life but like they r practically grown so all this mess really needs to stop and I seen it anyway and it looks fack to me bcuz the1 I saw the guy had brown hair and justin’s is blond kindda and Selena Gomez is not as thick as that girl was go check it out yourself and u tell me and THEY NEED PRIVECY people they r NORMAl PEOPLE like us so give them a break

  6. Renee says:

    I ment fake

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