Well, no, that’s allegedly not exactly what happened, but it’s what I’m betting happened. Come on, Katy begged John to take her back the first time he dumped her, so who’s to say that John didn’t kick her ass to the curb again? Here’s the thing—if you’re a dick like John Mayer, this is how it goes: once you gain that upper hand in a relationship, and it’s plain as the nose on your face that the other person in the relationship is way into it more than you are, it’s a f-cking game. It’s a “keep you around ’til something better comes my way,” and it’s probably what John Mayer lives by.
Sources are saying that Katy dumped John, but let’s be real—John has no friends (or, let’s be honest, “friends”) to speak of, therefore he’s got no one to leak statements to the media. He does the shit himself, and this time around, I don’t think he could be bothered to care. Katy, on the other hand? Doubtless she wants to look the fool a second time, so her people are probably working overtime to leak the right statements to the right outlets. Here’s the unofficial version of what happened:
“John just can’t commit, and he kept luring Katy back with promises that was going to change, but then he didn’t. Katy was pretty crazy about him, so she kept giving him another chance. John liked Katy, so he wanted to keep her in his life, but it just wasn’t up to Katy’s standards. She needs the guy to be on board 100 percent and she was sick of John disappearing for five days at a time, then booty calling her, then straightening up and treating her well, only to go back to his old behavior a few days later.”
And, honestly speaking, I just don’t see this being legit. I see Katy hoping that John would change his ways (because all that up there about him sounds spot-on), and when he didn’t, she got sad. And sad Katy is probably not all that much fun in the sack, and isn’t that what John is all about anyway? This is the dude that wrote ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’ ffs, not ‘You’re No Fun in the Sack, But I’m With You ‘Til the End of Time Anyway’.
Who ended it, guys?