Wow, how is it possible that we haven’t talked about Courtney Stodden in … what, an entire week? Guys, my Courtney withdrawal actually got so bad that I went and searched for new Courtney news the other day and I came up empty-handed, save for her awesome and amazing website, which Emily talked about last week.
These photos, however, showed right up this morning as if they just knew I was waiting for them, and when I flipped through the first couple, I knew I had hit the jackpot. Or, you know, the crack pot, if we really want to get specific.
I have a question that I need answered, and I know some of you are probably going to be thinking, “Ugh, what a stupid question. Jeez, Sarah, have you never actually left your house before? Don’t you know what it’s actually like out in the real world?” to which my answer would be, “Not in a long, long time, my dear, and it’s probably better that way for everyone.” My question, without further ado, is why the hell do people feel compelled to wear full faces of makeup to the beach? Can anyone tell me the answer? Does anyone actually have any clue? Have any of you actually ever witnessed it in real life, or is this just something strictly reserved for reality star tools?
Anyway, moving on to even more important Courtney news, though I’m having a hard time understanding what could possibly be more important than COURTNEY FANCILY FROLICKING ON THE FROTHY BEACH, Courtney’s evidently trying out a new fad in addition to her “floor flashing.” See, each Thursday night, girl chooses a Thursday Night Heartthrob, and last night’s choice was none other than John Stamos. Here’s her Tweet from last night:
Who is your Thursday night heartthrob?! Mine is @JohnStamos – meow!
And if you’re wondering, no, John Stamos did not respond to her Tweet.
And John Stamos. I didn’t even realize that she knew who he was, let alone realized that he was important enough to Tweet at him. And how is it OK by husband Doug that his wifey’s gone out to solicit the attention of other D-list male celebrities? I don’t know about you all, but if I were Courtney’s husband, I’d be jealous as hell. I’d want all of Courtney’s appealing attentions focused on me at all times, and if she ever decided to leave me for another man … I just don’t know what I’d do.
Check out more photos of Courtney on the beach in the gallery, and Happy Friday!