Today's Evil Beet Gossip
John Stamos

Jimmy Kimmel has celebrities read even more mean tweets


I don’t really like Jimmy Kimmel – I don’t “get” what’s so funny about him and find him rather dull, most of the time. One of the few exceptions to this, however, is when he does his ‘Celebrities Reading Mean Tweets’ segment. Now that’s entertainment – though you could argue it’s not really his, since he doesn’t appear in the videos, but whatever.

The point is, we’re here with another installment of celebrities reading all the mean shit you guys say about them online, and they’re great. I particularly enjoy the tweet about Adam Sandler, but that’s just because I totally agree with it. Enjoy!

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John Stamos Will Not Let You Bad-Mouth Full House

john stamos

John Stamos is cracking me up with this one. A blogger named Annelia Alex for The Huffington Post wrote a piece about Full House and how unrealistic it was. John Stamos heard about it and was having none of that. First, here’s some of what she wrote, via People:

Cataloging the five “lies I learned from dumb TV,” Alex said that Full House and sitcoms like FriendsWill & Grace and “some show with Brook Shields” were bad life examples and “distorted my expectations for reality.”

Those “lies” included the idea that when you get upset and flee a situation, someone chases after you, as the adults did for the children on Full House. (Alex tried it after a fight with her brother over Chex Mix and it didn’t work).

She also took exception to the idea that “you will be friends and ultimately more-than-friends with the attractive person in the apartment across the hall,” or can afford to live in a luxury Manhattan apartment when you’re a coffee shop waitress.

You get the idea. Here’s how Stamos responded:

Annelia, if you hadn’t watched those … shows like FULL HOUSE you wouldn’t have been open minded and bright enough to write an article like you just did.

Don’t blame the way your life turned out because of TGIF – if you’re lucky enough to have kids – maybe you should have them watch re-runs of Breaking Bad – see how that turns out.

I get what you’re saying – I agree we did some silly unrealistic stuff … [but] let’s focus on that and not the unrealistic stuff – because the happiness that these shows have brought to people’s lives – I’ve felt that more first hand than I’m sure you have….

Also, I bet more good than bad came out of those shows. Sorry it didn’t turn out that way for you Annelia or you simply just weren’t bright enough to take the good from what we did and laugh at the rest.

I think John Stamos needs to chill out. And I’m loling that he credited the brilliantly written Full House as proof of someone being able to write an article for Huffpo. Yeah, Stamos, it’s all because of Full House that this writer is “open minded” and “bright”. Come on, dude. Have mercy.

Did you watch Full House? What do you think of it now?

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Rebecca Romijn Doesn’t Know What John Stamos Is Up To These Days

rebecca romijn john stamos

Rebecca Romijn and John Stamos were one of the hottest couples of the late ’90s/early ’00s before they broke up and moved on with their lives. Of course, Rebecca is quite happy with Jerry O’Connell these days and John is still wondering what ever went wrong with Lori Laughlin, so the beat goes on, so to speak.

Of course, that didn’t stop US Weekly from asking her what she thinks of John’s love life – or lack thereof… because that’s groundbreaking and probably not at all annoying.

As for her famous ex, Romijn has no opinions on Stamos’ love life. In fact, these two don’t stay in touch anymore.

“I have no idea what is going on with him these days,” she revealed.

LOL, “she revealed”. Yes, she definitely revealed a lot… by saying she has nothing to reveal. What is this world?

I feel like it’s pretty understandable that exes who have no kids together and who have both gone on to other things in life would be all up in each other’s business. I mean, that would be weird. Why in the hell should she know what he’s doing?

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Uncle Jesse Wishes He Married Aunt Becky In Real Life

john stamos lori loughlin

Oh man, this is probably my favourite story I’ve read in a long while. Apparently John Stamos wishes that he ended up with Full House wife Lori Loughlin in real life and considers her to be ‘the one that got away’. I LOVE IT! The pair dated way back in the day (before Full House, even) but it didn’t last. What a shame!

From Huffington Post Live (via DS):

“We actually did date, we went on a date to Disneyland before we were both married. In real life, when we were 18, 19,” Huff Post Live quotes Stamos as saying.

He continued: “We did have some off timing, but no disrespect to her family and her husband now, I would say that she could be the one that got away.”

Stamos added that he is at least thankful to have a very close friendship with Loughlin.

“She’s one of my dearest friends and that’s good enough,” he said. “But I really do adore her. She has a great husband and he’s got a lot of money.”

OMG! First of all, don’t act like you didn’t ‘ship Uncle Jesse/Aunt Becky when you were like, 8. They were the best! They had Nicky and Alex! Aunt Becky was like a mom to the girls! Ah!

I think this is hilarious and would kind of have been amazing. Also amazing? The fact that John Stamos DOESN’T AGE!!!

Want To Know How John Stamos Lost His Virginity?

john stamos virginity

John Stamos wants everyone to know how he lost his virginity, and wants to know how his famous friends lost their virginities, so that he can make a show about it. Uncle Jesse Full House joke here, you do it, I can’t think of anything.

No, but really, 10 years ago MTV bought the show Losing My Virginity With John Stamos in which Mr. Stamos would sit down with celebrity guests who would share their own loss of virginity stories. (Why do we say “lose your virginity”? I mean hopefully you know where it went.) MTV never made the show but Yahoo apparently did and will launch it online in the spring.

Want to know John Stamos’ virginity story? No? Too bad, he’s really psyched about it. Via Eonline:

About 13 years ago, John Stamos was introduced to his bandmate’s sister.

“She’s about 10 years older than me and I was in my late 30s then, and I said, ‘Nice to meet you,’” Stamos told me earlier today while on break from filming his guest gig on Necessary Roughness. “She said, ‘Meet you?! Don’t you remember? I took your virginity.’”

“I was shocked,” Stamos said. “She didn’t look quite the same. She was a bit older and bit rounder.”

But then the memories starting flooding back.

I said to her, ‘I remember now. We were driving and I dropped my keys between my legs and you grabbed me,’” the former Full House star said. “She was like, ‘No, it was more romantic than that. I held your hand and we walked through a park together.’ The stories were vastly different.”

Oh, okay. I don’t know guys, the whole premise of the show (especially the title) makes me kind of creeped out, especially this part:

“For every actor, celebrity, musician and politician out there that we see, there’s somebody at home going, ‘I was their first,’” Stamos said. “I want to hear their stories, too.”

Really? Dude. “Whoa!” Or wait, that was Joey Lawrence’s thing, right? And “cut it out” was an Uncle Joey/Dave Coulier thing, right? So I don’t know, I don’t know what the f-ck to tell you, Stamos.

Here he is cuddling Bob Saget. That’s all I got here.

Michael Bolton Performs “Jack Sparrow” at the 63rd Annual Emmy Awards

A photo of Michael Bolton performing Jack Sparrow with the Lonely Island

My darling D.,

I’m sorry we got into a (minor) spat, honey. You said that I was “short” and “abrupt” on the phone last night, and you were probably right. I had a case of the Grumps, particularly because I had cut my leg on the refrigerator (?!) and skinned my hand on a bottle of water (?!?!!).

But I was also annoyed because I forgot the 2011 Emmy Awards were on Sunday, watched Tamara Drewe and a couple episodes of “Lingo” instead, and then discovered that I had missed a live performance of Michael Bolton singing “Jack Sparrow” with the Lonely Island.

I was so mad at myself. And worse, “Jack Sparrow” is your favorite song! I know that it is, because there was that one time, a month or two ago, when you were talking smack about Michael Bolton, and I said “Don’t you ever talk about Michael Bolton like that,” and then I said, “Watch this video of Michael Bolton, please,” and ever since, you have watched the “Jack Sparrow” SNL Digital Short a couple times a day. (It’s very annoying, the way you do that.)

But I want to make it all up to you, D. So: the medley of all your favorite Lonely Island songs is embedded below!

The boys need a backing vocal track, maybe, but their stage performance is basically one big magic trick. Bolton, the victim of a (spectacular) quick-change, is barely wearing his mustache for the first third. Also: Maya Rudolph channels Lady Gaga, John Stamos is very convincingly disguised as Andy Samberg, The Hangover‘s Ed Helms is unrecognizable in his Timberlake wig, Akon performs the hook to “I Just Had Sex,” and national treasure William H. Macy is in on the joke. Bless your little heart, Macy.

But most importantly, Michael Bolton.

If the video suddenly vanishes from YouTube—these things do happen!—you can also watch the medley here.

Image gallery via the Daily Mail:

John Stamos Will Teach You How to Love Your Lady More Effectively

John Stamos on April 20, 2011

The key to effective lovin’, John Stamos tells us, is cuddling. Embedded below is a step-by-step guide, a veritable Kama Sutra of Snuggles, in which Stamos demonstrates how to take your Bob Saget—I mean, your lady—to new heights of pleasure.

It’s all for a good cause: John Stamos is raising awareness for Project Cuddle, a “non-profit organization that offers safe and legal alternatives to baby abandonment.” (Not that the video itself has anything to do with babies; I think the aim is simply to make “Stamos” synonymous with “cuddle.” Sold!)

Video possibly NSFW, thanks to one F-bomb.