Is that weird at all? Awkward? Because, you know, he was the disgusting friend in Superbad? I feel really, really creepy about kind of thinking that Jonah Hill is hot, and I just can’t put my finger on why.
I mean, even when I saw that he’d split his pants last week or whenever it was, I kind of thought it was hot. It’s got to be the brush with near-penis that’s got me going.
Can I name the things that I love about Jonah Hill? Can I? And then we can see if we agree on any of it? OK, let’s do the damn thing.
1 – His voice. He’s got such a silky smooth voice, and even when he’s not doing the porno-radio operator voice, it’s still pretty amazing.
2 – He’s friends with Brad Pitt. Come on. Anyone who’s cool enough to be friends with Brad Pitt has got to be … you know, pretty cool.
3 – As long as he doesn’t have the ‘fro that he had in that awful movie I talked about above, he’s pretty hot both bulkier and on the thinner side. I just don’t care. I know. I don’t.
4 – Did I happen to mention he’s good friends with Brad Pitt? If you were dating Jonah, I guess that’d be like dating Brad Pitt by association. Kind of.
5 – Jonah Hill occasionally stays at Brad Pitt’s house. Isn’t that something?
6 – He’s funny as hell, flat out.
7 – Pretty much anything to do with Brad Pitt.
Can we all just love Jonah for a little while here and wish him the best of luck on his upcoming SNL hosting gig? He’s a sure bet to be way better than Lindsay f-cking Lohan at any rate (and a lot more appealing, too).