Hey, all you ladies with husbands! How are you guys doing? No, really: how are you? Do you feel like you have a good life? Do you feel like you are a good wife? Do you feel like you’re doing all you can to accept your husband as a leader and to show him that you believe in his God given responsibilities? If not, then go ahead and check out this advice from Michelle Duggar, and see how you can become a better wife TODAY!
* A Husband Needs A Wife Who Accepts Him As A Leader And Believes In His God-Given Responsibilities”: Husbands are commanded to govern their wives; God works through a man’s decisions — good or bad; Bad decisions reveal his needs and allow the wife to appeal and demonstrate Godly character; The more a wife trusts her husband, the more careful he will be in giving her direction; Never ask others for counsel without your husband’s approval; reassure your husband that you understand and believe that he is your God-given leader.
* A husband needs a wife who will continue to develop inward and outward beauty: How can you become more of the wife of your husband’s dreams?; discover and conform to your husband’s real wishes; explain your hairstyle to others on the basis of your submission to your authority; separate your “rights” from your responsibilities.
* Ask your husband to define your responsibilities; Ask your husband to tell you when you have a resistant spirit; dispel a backbiting tongue by silence.
Ok, let’s be fair real quick. These beliefs are not my beliefs, not by a long shot. The Duggars aren’t hurting anybody, I guess, but really, I think they’re crazy. This couple is bonkers, but still, this is another case of “I disapprove of what you say, but I will go on the internet and halfway defend your right to say it while still asserting that you’re out of your damn mind.” You guys know what I’m talking about.
But anyway, Michelle says that to be a good wife, you’re supposed to only talk to other people if it’s cool with your husband, stroke his ego constantly, change yourself as needed for him to think you’re attractive, make sure people know that your husband picks out your hairstyle, and make sure he knows that you want him to call you out if you have an opinion that he doesn’t agree with. Oh, and be sure to separate your rights from your responsibilities. Don’t get all hung up on being your own person when you have a dude to please.
Is everyone clear on this advice? Good, now go be the best wife you can be!
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Ha. This is because it’s America. In Europe we don’t think twice to say both “you’re crazy” AND “be so kind to shut the fuck up”. But, freedom of speech.
Also, it’s so funny how she writes “rights” in quotation marks :))))
@ Bobby Pfeiffer, believe me I’m an American woman and I wouldn’t have any problem telling a man that he’s crazy or to fuck off!! she is not the norm!
::blinks in disbelief::
I was sitting here trying to think of something witty to say to counter-act the absolute insanity of what she just wrote, but I really can’t think of anything. I’m in utter shock.
It makes me sad to know that she has children and is telling her daughters they aren’t as good or as capable as their brothers. How do you demean your children and insist they are second-class citizens in the name of God?!
Part of me hopes at least one of her kids rebels and becomes a big ol’ lesbian doctor.
*snort* That would be the perfect rebellion!!
Ok, I don’t agree with this woman’s philosophy. BUT – she has the right to believe in it, just like other women have the right to believe in their own personal philosophies. Why is it okay to call a super-religious woman names and act as though she’s crazy just because she has different views than yours? Whatever happened to all that “tolerance” the liberals preach about??
Well, I’ll tell you what happened. Black people don’t have to sit in the back of the bus because of their skin color. I guess they couldn’t “tolerate” it anymore. Women couldn’t “tolerate” not being able to own property in Texas until the 1960’s, etc. You know, little stuff like that.
You missed a HUGE difference there, friend – in the situations you cited, the groups were NOT HAPPY with their situation. This woman IS happy with her situation. Comparing her to the groups you did is naive and shows a lack of sophistication in your thinking.
Men in unquestioned leadership? Domestically and globally; the last 5,000 years of history prove that it was man’s idea; not God’s. But, hey! I’m a female, what do I know? And somebody get those Duggars tickets on the next flight out to the Middle East.
Man. This makes me uncomfortable… like Taming of the Shrew uncomfortable.
f that shi+
To hell with these retards!
She’s holding hubby down and putting his feet to the fire to utterly support her frail and unprotected, suffering female self.. very low self esteem issues and I believe she has the multiple kids to show her importance as a blessing to him.. but the other children are forced to become the mom, ignore their own life and raise their siblings because she is always having a traumatic worry for pleasing God, preventing her husband from having the sex he desires.. or is sorely distressed by personal medical difficulties and loss of faith.. and really deserves and needs private seclusion and healing space.. She’s a preventable mess.. get your tubes tied woman, it is not forbidden in the bible.. God will accept eunuchs in heaven, you had your share of babies, now is time to become a grandmother.. but she can’t provide time and love for the change to maturity, letting the younger ones take charge;.. so that husband should man up and go for the vasectomy immediately and tell her like it or not.. that’s the way it is.
The material most have seen is incomplete without the audio that goes with it. You must see the expanded Study Guides and hear the audio commentary that goes with them to get an understanding of the concepts found in the Study Guides.
The Duggars’ (and our) Pastor at the time, Cliff Palmer, at the First Baptist Church in Springdale, Arkansas, took the basic outlines that most are reacting to and added his (then) some 30+ years of experience as a husband, father, pastor, and counselor of couples on the biblical principles for marriage to the outlines. The recordings are of the sessions he held for the men and ladies (separately) at the church, with some 500 in each session, respectively. Michelle and Jim Bob, as did my wife and I, attended these sessions.
Later in our marriage, which nearly came apart twice, these materials, along with the audio recordings, saved our marriage.
The website that has them has been updated, and I would encourage any who want to make their marriage a bit of Heaven on earth to download the Study Guides and associated audio, and give it a listen. Even if you don’t agree with everything in them, there is something that every marriage can benefit from in them.
For those who are prone to criticize the Duggar’s and materials such as these, perhaps it would be wise to go through the materials yourself, also, before you make negative comments.
I would sooner live alone than to be in a marriage where my gender has determined by worth and value as a person. To be relegated to obeying my husbands wishes because of the belief that God has somehow enabled him with wisdom Im incapable of understanding is an insult.
Its her right to do as she wishes. No one is disputing that. She may have well behaved children, but how can she as a mother look at her daughters and tell them they are incapable of thinking for themselves or pursuing any dream they may have because their gender deems it impossible?
I’m so over everybody ragging on these people. They seem perfectly happy and are not hurting anyone. Typical liberals claim to support other peoples freedoms and right to say and live as you please, yet that only seems to be the case if you agree with them. I thought feminism was about choice. This is her choice. I wish some of my friends’ one child were as polite, socially responsible, and respectful as their 19. Most woman I know have done and do crazier shit for a man that is not even their husband. As for making yourself “appealing” for your man, look at all the lady freaks running around with duck bills that can’t close their eyes when they sleep and huge rubber titties. Don’t tell me women don’t do that for men. And shes crazy?
Tolerance shouldn’t be an endlessly stretched thing but used with common sense, like anything else. Because if you tolerate anything and everything just for the sake of tolerance, you end up with having to put up with not just benign “how to be a good wife” ramblings but with much more serious, even extremist religious shit.
@Crab – I am glad to hear that.
@XYZ – You are a poet! Word!
You do realize that you just made the EXACT same argument that extreme conservatives use against gay marriage, right? There are those who oppose gay marriage who say things like, “Yeah, but if we tolerate THAT, what’s next? Marriage to buildings or cars or animals??”
As you said, absolute tolerance for the sake of tolerance is a form of dogmatism that’s harmful and dangerous. But as BabyDog said, this woman isn’t hurting anyone, she’s not insulting anyone, she’s not calling anyone names because they don’t agree with her philosophy. Just because she doesn’t fall in line with the mainstream media version of “regular life” doesn’t mean that she’s a freak. Or a target for the kind of people who think it’s perfectly fine to call her a “retard” along with the folks who support the poster who called her a “retard.”
Stay classy, folks.
Hey, tolerate everything. However harmful to other people’s rights. Why not celebrate Stalin’s birthday. Surely if a woman can advocate making slaves out of women to make their husbands happy, then everytone else’s ideas should be held aloft too. The only difference between these two twats, mrs. D. and mr. S. is that the latter had the power to make his ideas come real. With untold suffering of the masses.
Oh, come on now…drama queen much?? How does her opinion and lifestyle interfere with other peoples’ rights? I mean, isn’t that the whole point, that she has the right to live her life as she chooses, and all of us have the right to choose not to live that same life? How would you feel if an extreme conservative pointed to…oh, say, Ellen DeGeneres, or Neil Patrick Harris, and said the same things about them – that they’re dangerous, and alike to Stalin, etc.?
People aren’t attaching her for her opinions. They are attacking because she is trying to tell them how to live their lives. If she had said this is the kind of wife I am and this is how my marriage is, it would be another thing. But, she is telling every woman out their, if they aren’t doing this or that, they are doing it wrong. She is acting like she knows the receipt for a good marriage and is basically saying if you do everything that is listed, you will have a successful marriage. That is bs and if men realized how pathetic she makes them sound, they would be offended. Do you know how many women acted just like this and was still abandoned by their husbands? Too many to count.
Yes, and there are a lot of gay activists who preach that everyone should accept gay marriage, and a lot of anti-gay marriage folks who preach against it. And a lot of pro-choice folks who preach that everyone should support abortion, and a lot of anti-abortion folks who preach against it. What’s the difference between those people and this woman? Just because you disagree doesn’t mean she’s crazy or should be insulted. Why should ANYONE be attacked for voicing their opinions or life choices, if those choices don’t hurt anybody else?
This woman is emotionally abused. Any man who would expect his wife to get pregnant this many times is an abuser. Even in countries where there are very high mortality rates for children – they don’t get pregnant this many times. And it isn’t religion – it is propaganda. The religious right is out there popping out babies thinking they can repopulate the land so there is a majority of fundamentalist white christians (hey don’t they have faith that they “turn” the rest of us?) Anywho, so sorry she is so brow-beaten she doesn’t know who she is.
He is seriously bad at picking hairstyles.
I think she should be allowed, just like everyone else to live the life they want to live. She is happy, her husband is happy and her children are well cared for. She doesn’t have the power to make everyone like her, that is a choice that you make for yourself. She is simply putting out there how they live, and showing how it works. Just because she lives differently does not mean she is any less of a woman. Tolerance is the hardest thing you can do, so its not surprising a lot of people are so upset about her views. The US does not deal with “new things” well for example American Indians, Irish, Jews, Japanese, Gay marriage, Arabs, Blacks, Women, Mexicans etc.,. Each set of people had their own beliefs and it was hard for them to integrate and be fully accepted into society. Many groups are still not totally accepted. Tolerance is a virtue and it takes a lot of work and I think if we were all a little more tolerant, truly tolerant this country would be much better off.
sick fuck, that is all.
know matter what I do he fine and tell it all me I feel I cant do anything right I feel all I do is fuck up and we not married yet I hope to be I love him and don’t know how to show it or how to do better help I am trying so I read and read and I hope it work idk but I hop