Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Michelle Duggar

Michelle Duggar Got A New Haircut, Looks Amazing, Hates It

A photo of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar

We all know what Michelle Duggar‘s hair situation is. We’ve seen those crunchy curls and those big ol’ bangs for years now. We all know what’s going on there. She’s never changed her hairstyle – seriously, never, she says that she’s had that hairstyle for the past 40 years – so we’ve never really had a reason to think that things could get better for her. But they did.

For Michelle’s 46th birthday, her kids planned a bunch of surprises for her, and one of them was a makeover. One of her friends did her hair, and she did a damn fine job:

A photo of Michelle Duggar

Amazing, right? She looks so good with that hair. She looks phenomenal. And I know there’s a pretty good chance that this isn’t the first time you’ve seen her new look, but I can’t stop talking about it yet. It looks SO GOOD.

Here’s the part that you maybe haven’t heard about yet: Michelle hates it.

From People:

“Going from curly to totally straight was a shock for me,” Duggar admits, “but I am loving it and I have been doing both styles, curly and straight, since the cut.”

When her lifelong pal Cindy suggested the shorter style, Duggar let go and let the inches come off without trepidation, she shares.

“I can trust Cindy,” she says. “But my back was to the mirror and I didn’t know how much I got taken off. It was too funny when I realized how much was gone! And it felt so light.”

So what does husband Jim Bob think of his wife’s new ‘do?

“I know Jim Bob likes it long and I am trying to impress him — what he likes is what I want,” she says. “I think he was a little shocked at first, it was so straight and so different. But he does like it. I think I shocked everyone at the [birthday] party. They were very surprised.”

The different style is taking Duggar a little while to master — and a little while for her youngest, 2-year-old Josie, to get used to as well.

“Little Josie kept touching my hand and saying, ‘Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?’” Duggar says. “She wanted to make sure I was still me.” But despite the big change, “I definitely like the new look,” Duggar insists. “It has been fun.”

Oh, honey. No. You don’t like it. Probably because Jim Bob was a passive aggressive asshole about it and now you feel self conscious. Probably you don’t even realize how sad your statement of “what he likes is what I want” is. Probably you need to be emancipated.

But seriously, how great does she look?

New BFF Alert: The Duggars and Kirk Cameron!

A photo of Jim Bob Duggar, Michelle Duggar, and Kirk Cameron

From Radar:

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are so famous that when they went out with Kirk Cameron a fan of theirs didn’t know who he was and asked him to take their picture with the Duggars!

In this sneak peek of the upcoming episode of 19 Kids and Counting, the Duggars were in Washington DC with the Growing Pains star and his son, Jack, and even though they’re all republicans they actually went to one of President Barack Obama’s favorite restaurants, Ben’s Chili Bowl.

“I heard that Ben’s Chili Bowl is one of President Obama’s favorite places to go, it’s one of our favorite places to go, we have that in common,” Jim Bob said about their connection with the President.

Kirk said it had been four years since he’d seen the deeply religious family. “The last time I saw the Duggars was at the San Antonio International Christian Film Festival.”

Kirk has weighed in frequently on conservative political issues, recently supporting Rep. Todd Akin after his  controversial “legitimate rape” statement but he apparently isn’t as famous anymore as the Duggars are.

“We walked in and people recognized us and one lady asked if she could get a picture with Jim Bob and I and she handed the camera to Kirk Cameron,” Michelle recalled about their visit.

Kirk happily snapped the picture but it wasn’t until Jim Bob told the woman that he starred in the sitcom Growing Pains that she finally recognized him.

Fun fact: Kirk starred in Growing Pains from 1985 to 1992. Only 4 Duggar Kids were alive during its TV run.

Oh man, I bet Victoria Jackson is just so bummed that she didn’t get an invitation to this dinner! She could have sat with Jim Bob, Michelle, and Kirk and told them all about how DNA works, and it would have just been the best time. Kirk could have braided her hair while Michelle told them her innovative ideas about the world’s overpopulation problem, and then they could all talk about how adamantly opposed they are to an entire group of people having a basic right that doesn’t affect them whatsoever.

Aren’t dinner dates with friends just the bee’s knees?

The Duggars Want More Children, Because Of Course They Do

A photo of Michelle Duggar and Jim Bob Duggar

Michelle Duggar is 46 years old. Jim Bob Duggar is 47 years old. They have 19 children. Their youngest child was born three months premature and weighed one pound, six ounces. Michelle did have another pregnancy, but she miscarried.

Are we all caught up? Yes? Then let’s hear all about how these two want more kids:

Michelle Duggar is not pregnant again — yet — but her husband Jim Bob Duggar just said on national television that the parents of 19 have fun trying to make more babies!

The Duggars premiere the sixth season of 19 Kids and Counting August 28 and on TODAY Friday morning they said that they’re always trying to have more kids.

“We definitely are,” Michelle told Savannah Guthrie about their efforts to have more children.

“We would love more if the Lord saw fit to give us more, so we will wait and see,” the matriarch of the family said as she smiled.

Her husband Jim Bob, in front of his 19 children, daughter-in-law and two grandchildren then made the comment about having sex with Michelle.

“It is fun trying though!” Jim Bob joked and Savannah called him a “sly dog,” for the sexual innuendo.

Michelle, who is 46, said that she loves being pregnant and is hoping little Josie Brooklyn Duggar isn’t her last child.

“It will be a sad day for me whenever we’re not able to have any more children,” but she said that she loves being a grandmother to Josh and Anna Duggar’s two kids.

Oh.  Sure.   Sounds great. Awesome plan. Sounds super solid. Not.

Michelle Duggar Thinks Your Thighs Are Shameful

A photo of the Duggars

Man, is it just the South, or did summer happen really suddenly? I mean, it’s going to be 100 degrees here tomorrow. I’ll be over at our new house for most of the day, painting and putting down the hardwood floors and scrubbing the gross old oven again, and you know, I might like to wear a tank top. Maybe even shorts if I’m feeling feisty. It’s going to be hot as hell, you know?

But then I read this blog by Michelle Duggar about “modesty and bathing suits,” and I guess I have to put on the ol’ turtleneck and denim skirt.

Seriously, here’s how the thing starts off:

It’s officially summertime, and swimming in a pool and wearing modest clothes came up the other night at mealtime in our house. Early on in our family the topic came up when some of our now-older kids wanted to talk about our decisions to wear modest dress.

We discussed all the reasons why we wear clothes — sometimes as a uniform or for work, for protection from the elements (especially for avoiding a sunburn), for distinction (determining whether you’re a man or a woman by looking at someone) and for modesty.

We were searching through scripture, and we found where God talks about a covering — what His idea of that would be. And in our heart before the Lord, we really came to a conclusion for our family about wearing modest clothes.

This isn’t for everyone, and we don’t push this on anybody. And we don’t judge anyone that doesn’t have this perspective, but for us, we felt like we needed to be covered from our neck to below our knees mainly because God talks about the thigh being uncovered, and how that’s nakedness and shame.

Ok, thighs aren’t shameful, thighs are shame.  I glad we were able to make that distinction.

And please, you can’t tell me that Michelle Duggar wouldn’t judge a woman for rocking a bikini. Or, ok, maybe Michelle wouldn’t judge if the woman showed her a handwritten note from her husband allowing her to wear the bikini, but even then, there would probably be at least a little judgement. You can’t really say that something is shame and then say “but no big deal if that’s what you’re into.” That’s like Kirk Cameron saying that gay people are ruining civilization, but his gay friends are totally cool with him. It just doesn’t work like that.

That up there was just the first part of Michelle’s lovely writing though, so read on to hear about how she doesn’t let her kids go swimming, all right?

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Michelle Duggar Says Overpopulation Isn’t A Problem Because …

A photo of Jim Bob Duggar and Michelle Duggar

Oh, this should be fun! In so many stories about the Duggars, here and elsewhere, a big theme I see is overpopulation. People are always talking about how with nineteen kids and counting, this family isn’t really helping that problem at all. Some people say that humans nowadays should stop procreating altogether because overpopulation is such a huge issue, and others say that even though it’s kind of scary, the government should be able to limit the amount of children people have to help get the problem under control. I don’t know about all that, but I do know that obviously the Duggars aren’t super concerned about this topic. But why?

Let’s guess for a minute, shall we? Let’s see … the Duggars say that overpopulation isn’t a problem because their measly nineteen kids don’t really affect the world population as a whole? The Duggars say that overpopulation isn’t a problem because “like, whatever”? The Duggars say that overpopulation isn’t a problem because the world actually doesn’t have all that many people in it?

Yeah, it’s that last one. Here’s a handy video where Michelle Duggar explains it all!

“The idea of overpopulation is not accurate because, really, the entire population of the world, if they were stood shoulder to shoulder, could fit in the city limits of Jacksonville.” That is a thing that she actually said. She just said that the entire population of the world could fit inside one city in Florida.

My brain is having some trouble really comprehending this, so I’m going to go ahead and hand it over to you guys, all right? Maybe you can make some sense of this, because I just … Florida, honestly.

Let Michelle Duggar Teach You How to Be A Good Wife

A photo of Michelle Duggar and Jim Bob Duggar

Hey, all you ladies with husbands! How are you guys doing? No, really: how are you? Do you feel like you have a good life? Do you feel like you are a good wife? Do you feel like you’re doing all you can to accept your husband as a leader and to show him that you believe in his God given responsibilities? If not, then go ahead and check out this advice from Michelle Duggar, and see how you can become a better wife TODAY!

* A Husband Needs A Wife Who Accepts Him As A Leader And Believes In His God-Given Responsibilities”: Husbands are commanded to govern their wives; God works through a man’s decisions — good or bad; Bad decisions reveal his needs and allow the wife to appeal and demonstrate Godly character; The more a wife trusts her husband, the more careful he will be in giving her direction; Never ask others for counsel without your husband’s approval; reassure your husband that you understand and believe that he is your God-given leader.

*  A husband needs a wife who will continue to develop inward and outward beauty: How can you become more of the wife of your husband’s dreams?; discover and  conform to your husband’s real wishes; explain your hairstyle to others on the basis of your submission to your authority; separate your “rights” from your responsibilities.

* Ask your husband to define your responsibilities; Ask your husband to tell you when you have a resistant spirit; dispel a backbiting tongue by silence.

Ok, let’s be fair real quick. These beliefs are not my beliefs, not by a long shot. The Duggars aren’t hurting anybody, I guess, but really, I think they’re crazy. This couple is bonkers, but still, this is another case of “I disapprove of what you say, but I will go on the internet and halfway defend your right to say it while still asserting that you’re out of your damn mind.” You guys know what I’m talking about.

But anyway, Michelle says that to be a good wife, you’re supposed to only talk to other people if it’s cool with your husband, stroke his ego constantly, change yourself as needed for him to think you’re attractive, make sure people know that your husband picks out your hairstyle, and make sure he knows that you want him to call you out if you have an opinion that he doesn’t agree with. Oh, and be sure to separate your rights from your responsibilities. Don’t get all hung up on being your own person when you have a dude to please.

Is everyone clear on this advice? Good, now go be the best wife you can be!

Michelle Duggar Recorded an Audio Letter to her Deceased Child

If you can’t listen to it, or just don’t want to, the whole video is
Michelle Duggar talking to her miscarried/stillborn child, telling the child how much she’ll miss doing the things that a mom does with a child, things she won’t be able to experience, and though, yes, I’m kind of sensitive about these things lately and find her memorial kind of sad, I’m head-scratchingly confused about why she’d record this to begin with, let alone release it to the public. I think this would be a relatively private moment, a private event, one that might be memorialized in a baby book, or a journal, or, I don’t know, something other than an audio recording that somehow happened to end up in the media’s hands.

I realize that a lot of you guys think that she and her husband do these things more for fame and money than they do for any other possible reason, but does that not kind of defeat the entire purpose of the religion that she clings so firmly to? Or, I don’t know, do I have it backwards?