Do you remember those rumors about a Spice Girls reunion? Mel B hinted that the most glorious girl group of all time might get back together to perform at the Queen’s Jubilee concert, and the preteen girl inside all of our hearts began crying hysterically and hyperventilating and hooking up the VCR to watch Spice World. It was a beautiful time in our lives, wasn’t it?
Well, it’s not so beautiful anymore, because Melanie “Sporty Spice” Chisholm has taken it upon herself to pull down her stupid athletic pants and shit all over our hopes and dreams. Or, more specifically, to explain that there’s no reunion in the works:
No matter how much Geri and Mel tweet/ hint about it, it’s not happening because Mel C said so this morning on Lorraine.
“It’s such an incredible opportunity and what a wonderful thing to be able to do,” Mel said to a lady who wasn’t Lorraine, because Lorraine’s off on her holidays somewhere.
“And the concert looks like it’s going to be out of this world, but unfortunately – bad news for any Spice Girls fans – we don’t plan to perform or reform. So I’m sorry to disappoint anybody.”
Mel carried on talking about it, probably because she knows it’s the best way for her to promote the tour she’s just about to go on, but hey – we’d probably do the same. If, you know, we were a Spice Girl.
“We often have things that we talk about,” said Mel. “It was rumoured a lot about the Olympics and then of course the whole Diamond Jubilee thing came up. And it was something that we discussed, so it was in discussion, but unfortunately it’s not going to happen.”
“We have to respect each other’s wishes,” said Mel. “And we reformed in 2007 and we had an amazing time. The show was incredible and that kind of feels like our final farewell. And it would be such a great thing to perform for, but sadly not.”
Whatever, Mel C was always my least favorite anyway, so it would make sense that she would be the one to do this to me. I wish she would just stop doing her awful solo music and stop talking (reasonable and well-deserved) trash about Rihanna and realize that if she truly wants to make people happy, if she wants to reach out to the world with her gift of song, there is only one way for her to do that. And that is in a sports bra with four other broads singing about nonsense.
Really though, and this is what everyone who is talking about this is saying, I bet the issue is Victoria Beckham. She’s by far the most successful Spice Girl, plus she has four young children to look after, so I guess it makes sense that she’s not itching to put on that little Gucci dress and hop back on stage with the other ladies. Still, that doesn’t make this hurt any less, does it?