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Melanie Brown

3How Will You Celebrate the 20th Anniversary of the Spice Girls?

spice girls

If you’re anything like me, you’ll probably spend it feeling old as shit. Seriously, think about: 2014 makes the Spice Girls, as a group, 20 years old. WHAT? Time flies when your ’90s girl groups retire… or something (that was a terrible saying). Either way, Mel B is hoping for a reunion next year to mark the special occasion and thinks it’d be a bit silly if they didn’t do something to honour the group that made any of their careers possible.

From MTV News:

“It will be our 20th year anniversary next year so I’m hoping we do get together and do something,” Mel B told MTV News. “It kind of would be a shame if we didn’t.”

I agree! I mean, they did sort of already have a mini reunion with the whole Olympics thing, so I doubt it’ll have as much of a bang as they’d like. However, I don’t think anyone in their right minds would turn down another Spice Girls event. HELLO? They’re amazing.

I feel like the only person who might hold up the process/be difficult about it is Victoria Beckham, and to be honest, she was the worst in the group and they could do without her, so…

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December 12, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer

3Spice Girls Musical Shut Down (There Was A Spice Girls Musical?)

spice girls musical viva forever

Viva Forever, a musical based on the works of the Spice Girls in London’s West End, was cancelled. Judging by that photo it looks like it was basically just a group of women dressed as Spice Girls singing Spice Girls songs, and it probably was, but now I’LL NEVER KNOW. It opened only last December. Mamma Mia it is not.

Emma Bunton/Baby Spice tweeted (via EOnline), “I am totally gutted that our wonderful show @vivaforever is coming to an end. Thank you to all our amazing fans for your constant support!”

Geri Halliwell/Ginger managed to put her truth or dare game with Mel B/Scary on hold to tweet “We love u all @vivaforever @emmabunton @MelanieCmusic @OfficialMelB @victoriabeckham #what a shocka , gutted .x”

Mel C/Sporty tweeted “Absolutely devastated our wonderful show is closing. Thank you to our brilliant cast and everybody who made the show so incredible.” that Mel B retweeted.

Victoria Beckham/Posh tweeted nothing because she’s Victoria Beckham. Or because she’s ~~too busy being a working mum~~.

All this tweeting makes me realize even more that journalists can quite easily become obsolete. No one releases real statements anymore. Unless it’s an “I was drunk and I’m sorry” statement that needs more than 140 characters.

In conclusion, slam your body down a-zig-ah-zag-ah. (What’s YOUR favorite Spice song?)

May 2, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

2Quotables: The Spice Girls Love Each Other Very Much, And Also Boobs

A photo of Melanie Brown

“I love boobs. Me and the other Spice Girls are always having a feel of each other’s – Geri came up behind me and grabbed mine the other day.”

- Scary Spice lets us in on what goes on, and presumably what went on, behind the closed doors of that fabulous Spice Girls tour bus.

But really, who doesn’t love boobs? Seriously, who doesn’t? Because whether it’s because of a sexual attraction or for aesthetic reasons, or even just because they’re fun to poke and squish, I’ve never heard of anyone who didn’t have the utmost love and affection for boobs. They’re something that can unite us all, and I think that’s really special.

Also, I know some of you get upset that we don’t talk about boobs enough here, so this is for you guys. We can make this sort of a general discussion, if you’d like, about boobs. Spice Girl boobs, celebrity boobs, regular old boobs. Whatever you want, ok? This is your time.

September 13, 2012 at 9:30 am by Emily

2Which Two Spice Girls Once Had A Fistfight?

A photo of the Spice Girls

Definitely Victoria, right? Somebody spilled something on one of her little Gucci dresses back in the day and she tried to claw a girl’s eyes out. Ooh, or maybe it was Ginger Spice. She always was the fiery one, you know? Or it could be Scary Spice. You know, because of “scary.”

But who was it really? Which two of our darling Spice Girls once got so angry at each other that they resorted to throwing punches? Any combination is hard to imagine, of course, but since it did happen, can you guess which girls were involved?

Bitches on the left!

Yes, the two Mels, Mel B and Mel C, got super drunk one time and had a brawl. Oh, but Geri got punched in the face for being a sweetheart and trying to stop the violence. Here, let’s just let Sporty Spice herself tell us what happened:

“Me and Melanie had a fight once. We were too drunk. We got a bit pushy, shovey and Geri stepped in the middle to break it up and ended up getting punched in the face. Then Melanie went off to be sick, and because she’d been drinking too much port she accused me of making her bleed!”

Is this weird for anyone else? I don’t know, I guess the Spice Girls were such a huge part of my childhood that they’re always going to be what I thought they were when I was 10. I always imagined that they toured around, braiding each other’s hair and having fun, PG adventures and singing constantly. Basically, I thought that Spice World was real life, and even now that I read about Victoria Beckham’s bitchface and Geri Halliwell’s nipples for a living, that’s how they’re always going to be in my head.

Ugh, between this, Eva Mendes proposing to Ryan Gosling, and Kim Kardashian actually looking cute, how else is my Monday going to fall apart?

August 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Emily

2Love It or Leave It: Scary Spice is So Damn Literal

photo of mel b scary spice weight loss pictures
YIKES. What the hell is this look, bodybuilder-chic? Whatever it is, I’m definitely not on board with it (ha, get it? I said “on board,” and Mel B. and a dude are “on board” a boat. Lame, yeah, I know, but it’s Thursday afternoon despite the fact that my brain feels like it’s 6 AM on a Saturday instead).

Anyway, this is Melanie Brown, AKA Scary Spice, AKA Mel B., and not Mel C., as she was announced on the ‘X-Factor’ UK earlier this week, much to her chagrin.

From the Daily Star:

Spice Girl Mel B was left red-faced when she was introduced to the X Factor crowds as her bandmate Mel C.

The singer is a guest judge at auditions in Manchester.

But she was embarrassed by one of the show’s production crew who dropped a clanger by announcing: “Please welcome Mel C!”

Fans who had queued for hours to sit in the audience knowing Mel B, 37, would be joining the panel thought a Spice Girls reunion was on the cards.

But they were disappointed when the member of staff corrected himself. One onlooker said: “It was a bit awkward, everyone looked around for Mel C. The poor guy realised he’d made a mistake but Mel didn’t look pleased!”

Well that sucks. All those fans thinking that the Spice Girls were going to do an impromptu reunion show only to be let down in a major, major way? Gosh. I know how that feels, guys. I’ve totally been there.

Last, what is that guy even doing? Holding her upright so she doesn’t tip over BECAUSE SHE’S SO TOP-HEAVY?

As for Mel’s new look, what do you guys think?

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June 7, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah

4Rumor Mill: A Spice Girls Reunion!

Photo: Spice Girls reunion!!

Okay, you guys. I have a little hypothetical question, here. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, okay, if I were to tell you, okay, that—rumor has it—a certain five-piece girl group is maybe planning to reunite?!?!?!

Would you scream? Would you cheer? Would you start tearing through your apartment, looking for that glittery Union Jack T-shirt you used to wear? (I completely wish I were kidding.)

The initial rumor was, maybe this girl group would reunite for the Olympics; now the rumor is, they might reunite for a concert in June!

The real point is, Melanie Brown (née “Mel B”) has a big mouth. Thank you, Mel, for having the biggest mouth:

Mel B revealed the plans during an interview on Australian TV—when she was asked if the Spices will reform for the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony.

Mel smiled and replied: “Ooh, I think the Queen’s Jubilee concert is the event I’d be looking at more closely for that to happen.”

After realizing her error, the outspoken star quickly changed the subject.

And! Also!

Mel—who was Scary Spice in the band—told the TV crew off-air: “I am going to be in such strife for saying that.

“It’s all so totally bloody top-secret still.”

Here are my thoughts:
- What is a “Diamond Jubilee”?
- For that matter, what’s a “queen”? Is that like when you put a person on money?
- PLEASE, PLEASE GO ON TOUR!

The Spice Girls haven’t been on a reunion tour since 2007! YOUR TIME HAS ARRIVED, SPICE WOMEN.

Haven’t you heard? It’s currently Mid-90s Fever! (For instance, I tried my damnedest to get a New Kids on the Block/Backstreet Boys ticket. I even tried to win one! I could cry.)

Look. Maybe you don’t share my enthusiasm, dear readers. That’s fine. You don’t have to come to the party, where a screening of Spice World will commence promptly at 8pm. (Bring your sleeping bags!)

(Image via Celebuzz.)

January 29, 2012 at 10:30 am by Jenn
Filed Under: Melanie Brown
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