Man, I wish I had a baby. That child would have the best accessories. I’d spring for that BeDazzler down at the Salvation Army that I’ve had my eye on and I’d finally go pick up my sewing machine and my hot glue gun from my dad’s. I’d get the biggest tube of Tacky Glue the Walmart has in stock, and I’d be sure to get every color of puffy paint I could find. I would go wild. My baby would have tie dyed cloth diapers and rhinestone covered onesies. There’s even a solid chance that I would put those spinning rims on the stroller.
But see, I don’t have a baby, so I can’t do any of these things. And while that breaks my heart, I have to look on the positive side. And that positive side is that Beyonce does have a baby, and she is doing these things, only on a much grander, more Beyonce-like scale.
From In Touch via Celebitchy:
Beyonce isn’t leaving anything to chance when it comes to the welfare of her firthborn child. According to a friend, the new mom has two nannies on call at all times, which makes for a total of six nannies for little Blue Ivy Carter.
“Beyonce wanted to make sure that her daughter has the best of care,” a friend of the singer tells In Touch. “Her diaper is changed every hour.”
And proud papa Jay-Z, 42, is also lavishing attention on the newborn – by way of bling.
“Jay-Z bought her diamond earrings and a platinum baby bracelet,” reveals the friend. “Even her bottle has pink sapphires on it.”
A little over the top perhaps, but what can you expect from the couple who reportedly spent $1.3 million to bullet-proof the delivery room!
There are so many things to talk about, so let’s just break it down, section by section, ok?
- Why would you even need six nannies? That doesn’t make any sense. Even if you could afford it, why would you need two other people there at all times to take care of your baby? Parents, if you could afford it, would you even want this amount of help?
- How do you guys feel about babies with pierced ears? I don’t really care for it, because, come on, it’s a baby, and there are probably other things on a baby’s mind besides jewelry. Also, they cry and it makes me sad.
- A platinum baby bracelet? For real? They might as well just call it a platinum chew toy, because a baby isn’t going to appreciate anything about that bracelet besides sticking it right inside her mouth.
- Their baby bottles have pink sapphires on them. Could you even imagine? What are they going to do with the bottles after the baby doesn’t need them anymore? How many needlessly extravagant things can one baby have?
- Why do I keep discussing Beyonce and Jay-Z like they’re normal people with reasonable ideas about money?
What do you guys think? Do these guys sound like good parents so far? Would you want to be little Blue Ivy? Don’t you think that alternating rows of pink sapphire, aquamarine, and pearl would be so much cuter?