Kris Jenner, congratulations. You really take the cake. I mean it. Just have it. Have it all.
I cannot even begin to wrap my brain around a how a mother could possibly do this to her daughter—her nicest, most sincere, very tallest daughter—but sources speculate that Kris Jenner plans to formally ‘out’ Khloe Kardashian‘s real dad on national TV. Of all the evil machinations…!
And here I am, reporting it to you like some schmo. Yep, Kris. Yep. You’ve finally broken me. You’ve won. It’s gonna sell, all right. So enjoy that continued money and fame: you’ve absolutely earned it. And at whose expense, exactly? Gnaw on that awhile.
Worse, it’s all so pointless. Like, we pretty much know the biological father is one Alex Roldan. “Confirmation” won’t dazzle anyone. There is zero dazzle here. However, the fact that Mama Jenner wants to wrap an entire narrative arc around the myriad ways she’s caused Khloe Kardashian endless pain? That degree of selfishness and narcissism is, wow, just spectacularly dazzling.
Granted, the sources here are squirrelly—ONTD filched the information from Blind Gossip—but Kris Jenner is so profoundly vile, I am just throwing my hands in the air. It pings just as true as any other rumor, right? Just, here:
Kris is taking this another step forward. She wants to introduce Khloe’s real biological father as a plot point on a “very special episode” of one of the Kardashian shows. We’re going to spoil her surprise by introducing him here first. (FYI, Kris did tell Khloe who the man is already, so this is not coming a surprise for anyone in their family. Plus it’s all leaking out this week, despite Kris’ desire to keep it a secret until showtime to make the ratings as high as possible.)
No, it’s not Todd Waterman. And, no, it’s not OJ Simpson!
Meet Alex Roldan, Kris Jenner’s hairdresser. This is Khloe Kardashian’s biological father. He worked on a music video that Kris Kardashian did for her 30th birthday called “I Love My Friends”. Alex is now a hairdresser in West Hollywood. While Robert Kardashian was only 5’7″ tall, Alex is a much larger man, standing approximately six feet tall. BTW, Khloe’s middle name is Alexandra.
Here’s what chills me to the core of my dead stone heart: HOW LONG HAS KRIS JENNER BEEN PLANNING TO DO THIS TO KHLOE? Like, Kris Jenner tested Khloe’s maternity on an earlier episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, thereby planting a question about Khloe’s leery genes ages ago. Later, she copped on national TV to cheating on Robert Kardashian. She loves that we all suspect that Khloe was fathered by another man. She has been working her way down to some big “confession” one domino at a time.
How long has Kris been planning to profit from this manufactured family drama?
My guess? From the instant Khloe was conceived. Kris Jenner deliberately named her daughter for her real father, figuring at some point further down the road, somehow, some way, she could wring some dough out of her overwrought cinematic plotline. How very, very Anna Karenina. And damned if it won’t sell! We can’t wait to see Jenner squeeze some crocodile tears out of that frozen Botulism face we all helped buy.
And poor Khloe? She was born into this stupid drama; she was destined for it. She is just some supporting character in her mother’s awful story, a fleeting face in the “I Love My Friends” music video montage that is Kris Jenner’s entire vapid existence. Khloe never had a chance—her mother has been making sure of it.
(Images via Hollywoodite.)