Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Nicole Richie Doesn’t Know How to Put On Makeup

A photo of Nicole Richie

When I first read that Nicole Richie has no idea about how to apply makeup, my first thought was “well, obviously.” She just looks so tired and run down these days, doesn’t she? And I know that she has small children and she used to enjoy illegal substances and all that, but can’t you like put some concealer under your eyes? Something?

But then I read that a professional does Nicole’s makeup for every appearance, and, well, now I don’t know what to think:

As a red carpet regular and House of Harlow 1960 and Winter Kate designer, Nicole Richieis a fashionista in every sense of the term. But when it comes to beauty, Richie admits she could use a few pointers. “I actually don’t know how to put on makeup—at all,” she told at a recent party for Dior Beaute. “I have to get it done every time I want to wear makeup. I do not know how to wear it at all. It’s so bad.” However, all is not lost: “I can do my own hair, but I can not do makeup. I don’t even own it. I only own undereye concealer, Maybelline mascara, and an eyelash curler.”

Oh, one of the few products she owns is undereye concealer?  Huh.  Well, if that doesn’t just beat all.

Look, you guys, I have a confession to make. This post isn’t all about Nicole Richie and her inability to apply makeup. You didn’t think I would do a whole long story about how tired Nicole Richie looks, did you? No, this post is about how tired Nicole Richie looks AND how I want your advice.

When I did that story about the Kardashians getting their own line of fingernail polish, I asked you guys for some manicure tips, and you guys came through. You came through so hard. And don’t think I’m taking advantage of you now, but if you guys have some makeup tips, I would love them.

Do you know of a not-so-expensive eyeliner that stays put? I have a variety of eyeliners, waterproof and not, but no matter what, by the end of the day I always have these black smudges on the outside corner of my eye. It is the single most annoying thing about wearing makeup for me, which is tragic, because I really do enjoy wearing makeup. Sometimes.

And should I be wearing blush? A long time ago, I read that if you have round cheeks, you might want to avoid blush, and I like my freckles and don’t want to hide them, but is this something I should be doing?

And finally, we need to talk about lip stains. I got one a few months ago (I bought so much makeup from e.l.f. because each item was only a dollar and I was on a kick), and I really love it, but it still rubs off. Is there a lipstain, or any lip product, really, that stays put and doesn’t cost a ridiculous amount?

Thanks, friends!

But Charlie Sheen, Are You Still Crazy?

A photo of Charlie Sheen

Around this time last year, Charlie Sheen was just starting to go off the deep end. It was in January of 2011 that Charlie went on his first well-publicized adventure with cocaine and booze and hookers and ambulance rides, and it was in January that Two and a Half Men first went on hiatus so Charlie could go to rehab. It doesn’t seem like that long ago, does it? Oh yeah, that’s because the crazy went on for months and months, huh?

But good news, everybody! The crazy train has stopped, and a lucid, somewhat charming Charlie Sheen stepped off of it! Yep, despite what you think after checking out the photo above (sweet robe, Charlie), this man is 100% back on track:

“I’m not crazy any more. That was an episode,” Sheen says, laughing, as he spoke with reporters at Sunday night’s Fox Network Television Critics Association party in Pasadena, Calif.

“I think I’m a different person than I was yesterday. Everything is a lot more mellow and focused and much more rooted in reality.”

Of late, Sheen says instead of sounding off on Twitter, “I’ve been spending a lot of time with the kids, a lot of time with the family and I’m getting back into work mode,” adding that he is goddess-free these days. “I’m a single guy hanging out with my children.”

Asked if he has been in contact with his former Two and a Half Men costar Jon Cryer, or producer Chuck Lorre, Sheen says, “Jon and I text. Chuck, no, but at some point we are going to have to get some closure there.”

In a different interview, Charlie took some time to explain exactly what kicked off his crazy behavior last year:

It was a lot about what had been going on for all those years on the (“Two and a Half Men”) set and it was also about the pressure cooking of 30 years in the business and finally wanting to say all the things that I didn’t. And I said them all at once and it created a tsunami of bizarre proportions. But no, the reason that I pushed it is that I knew I was right. I knew I was absolutely right in my stand.

Sounds good, Charlie! It’s good to know that 2011 was just a little episode! See you in 2013 when you have your next one, all right?

Katy Perry Isn’t Even Going to The People’s Choice Awards

A photo of Katy Perry

This morning, Jenn told you all about how Russell Brand was uninvited from the People’s Choice Awards because “it will be Katy’s big night” and organizers wanted to “avoid any awkwardness or confrontation.” Jenn called it high schoolish, and boy, did she hit the nail on the head with that one. This is precisely like Russell and Katy getting an invite to the cool kids’ party, but then they get into this fight and they are so over, so the cool kids decide to just have Katy there because OMG she is so much more popular and like wouldn’t that be the greatest?

But you guys. Katy isn’t even going to the party. Check out this Tweet:

Unfortunately I will not be able to attend the People’s Choice Awards. I want to thank u all for voting for me, fingers crossed! #KATYCATS

And now you get neither, People’s Choice Awards.  Did you learn your lesson?

In other news originating from Katy Perry’s Twitter, she has stated that the love and support from her fans means a lot to her – “you guys have made my heart happy again” – and she’s also made it clear that, in these trying times, no one else speaks for her, “not a blog, magazine, ‘close sources,’ or my family.”

But why did Katy specifically mention her family? Why, because her parents are using the publicity from her divorce to get people to visit their church. Sweet, right?

Just as moving vans pulled up to Katy Perry and Russell Brand’s Hollywood Hills home, Perry’s parents discussed their daughter’s impending divorce for the first time, from the pulpit of their evangelical ministry. During a worship service this week, the two said that they believed Perry’s split was God’s way of bringing people to church.

Mary and Keith Hudson saw an unusual surge in the crowd at their Church on the Rise in Westlake, Ohio, during the week following Brand’s filing for divorce from Perry after just 14 months of marriage. The Hudsons advertise being “Kate Perry’s Parents” on the roadside sign for their congregation.

“I’m sure that Katy’s trending on the Internet was to get you here to church tonight,” Mary Hudson said from the pulpit, to a crowd of 300. “I mean all over the world, who knows how God is bringing them in? The most important thing is you are here and God wants to put the fire in you in 2012.”

Keith Hudson added, “What has taken place in my daughter’s life has opened many opportunities to go in and be with guarded and gated people. God has given us a platform to go in and meet people — and they like us because we are cool. We are not threatening.”

He furthered that the couple were not upset with their daughter for getting divorced, often frowned upon by their religion.

“I love my daughter and I will always love her,” Keith Hudson continued. “Stop being judgmental and critical. Do not close the doors to your loved ones, especially your children. Just because they do not like what you do or what you are, they are still praying that you stay in the race. They are counting on you.

“I believe in God, for every one of my children.”

Whoa.  Whoa.  Hold it right there, parents, because you have gone too far. I thought that you went too far with the Katy Perry tell-all, but now, I think I spoke too soon. I think the moment when you decided that any of this was in any way acceptable, that’s the moment you crossed the line.

But seriously, how awful is that? And where do you guys stand now: Team Russell or Team Everybody But Katy Perry’s Parents?

Did Beyonce Have A Miscarriage Before Blue Ivy?

That little video up there is the newest song from Jay-Z. It was released today, it’s called “Glory,” and it’s all about little Blue Ivy. It even samples the baby crying after delivery. It’s actually kind of sweet! Well, except the line “you’re my child with the child from Destiny’s Child,” that’s absolutely embarrassing, but hey! I imagine Jay wrote in a pinch, right?

But wait, what about this little line?

“Last time the miscarriage was so tragic

We was afraid you’d disappear

But nah baby you magic.”

That’s a bit heartbreaking, and it makes me think so much more of Jay and Beyonce that they didn’t, I don’t know, make a video with images of the deceased baby and post it online. But there’s this tiny part of me, this little awful cynic, that’s like “wait, for real?” Because it’s going to be super hard for me to believe anything this couple says from here on out, and I’m sorry if that makes me insensitive, but come on now.

Speaking of insensitive, you know who is also insensitive to Bey and Jay right now? All the other people who happened to have babies on the same weekend as Beyonce’s surrogate:

A Brooklyn man claims increased security at Lenox Hill hospital — because of the presence of Beyonce and Jay-Z — kept him from seeing his prematurely born twins … this according to a report.

Neil Coulon tells the NY Daily News he has been repeatedly kept out of the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) by the couple’s security. He also claims his relatives were booted out of the waiting room by bodyguards wearing headsets.

He tells the paper, “Three times they stopped me from entering or exiting the NICU and it happened once on Friday — just because they wanted to use the hallway.”

Oh, silly man, how did you not know that Beyonce’s baby is more important than your own? You should have thought things through a little more when you and your partner decided to have babies. This is on you, Neil Coulon. This is all on you.

Meanwhile, a group of new mothers are threatening to sue the hospital for similar reasons:

Sources at Lenox Hill Hospital in NYC tell TMZ … the mothers have been gathering at a breastfeeding class at the hospital … and in between latching techniques, they’ve been griping about the way they’ve been treated during the celebrity lockdown.

We’re told the mothers feel they’ve been “neglected” by hospital staff … and now they’re discussing the possibility of filing a lawsuit against LHH.

According to, Bey and Jay-Z dropped $1.3 mil to seal off a private wing of the hospital … with private security roaming all over the place.

Our sources say several mothers have been seen arguing with Bey’s security people … accusing the hired muscle of being “extremely rude.”

Still, we’re told the mothers are not mad at Bey and Jay — directing the blame solely at the people who run the hospital.

One source tells us, “Someone at the hospital should be protecting us patients.”

Does anyone else think that sounds like the plot of a really awesome movie?

One more thing: Beyonce and Jay-Z just released a statement about the birth:

“Hello Hello Baby Blue! We are happy to announce the arrival of our beautiful daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, born on Saturday, January 7, 2012. Her birth was emotional and extremely peaceful, we are in heaven. She was delivered naturally at a healthy 7 lbs and it was the best experience of both of our lives.We are thankful to everyone for all your prayers, well wishes, love and support. Beyoncé & Jay-Z.”

So she was born naturally now?  Can someone please keep their story straight?

Oh, Good Grief, AnnaLynne McCord

Photo: Topless pics of AnnaLynne McCord

In a perfect world I would not know who AnnaLynne McCord is, but this is the real world, where Miss McCord is inescapable. Also—and I am loath to admit this, friends—I went through a 90210: the New Class phase. I don’t know! I guess I wanted to see whether Rumer Willis were any good at acting. Don’t you judge me.

Anyway, late last night, I was logged into my Twitter account—oh man, this is never a good idea, you guys—where I was tweeting photos of my childhood unicorn collection. In other photos you can actually see all the Xanth novels. Yikes. One guy was like, “Wow, Jenn, you really are a 12-year old,” and I was all, “No doiii” and “90210 is my favorite show.”

So that’s how I was busy humiliating myself late last night, thank you.

Meanwhile, AnnaLynne McCord was doing the exact same thing!

Well, almost the exact same thing. Substitute “nipple” for “childhood unicorn collection,” and that’s what AnnaLynne McCord was doing. Gawker’s Maureen O’Connor will expound:

Perpetual sexy schoolgirl AnnaLynne McCord, who regularly makes out with her sister in front of cameras, took a topless picture of herself last night and tweeted it at a random fan, who apparently sat in dumbfounded silence when she saw the “gift” AnnaLynne had tweeted at her. “@IAMannalynne <333 ahh thanks! you are so sweet! and thats definitely a great picture!," replied @Meganrae, a random girl from Colorado with a Blogspot about nail polish. AnnaLynne actually removed the R-rated photo and replaced it with a PG one, and apparently had a DM conversation with @Meganraee about it.

And Gawker! Be honest! Those “gold stars” are tacit approval of this kind of raunchy behavior! I mean, really!

Hmm. Whether or not the nipple was on purpose (I’m guessing no), maybe it isn’t that big of a deal anyway. A little toplessness never hurt anybody, mom.

But seriously, yow! AnnaLynne! Keep this up and you’ll have more followers than Oprah!

You Know It’s a Slow News Day When You’re Reporting That Snoop Dogg Was Arrested for Weed Possession

photo of snoop dogg smoking pot on stage pics photos pics
And if it happened, say, anywhere other thanTexas, which – ask Chace Crawford – probably has some of the strictest pot laws in the US, the attending officers would probably have just asked for a hit of that shit and took a few photos instead of arresting and citing Snoop.

TMZ claims that Snoop was busted this past weekend with approximately a half-ounce of pot, which he claims to have a prescription for, though in Texas, none of that medical marijuana stuff flies. Sources also state that if Snoop is convicted of the drug charge, he could get up to six months in jail.

This is, though, as you probably know, not the first time Snoop’s been busted for having pot illegally – he was arrested in 1998, 2001, and 2002 for pot possession. Then, again in 2007, Snoop was put on 60 months probation (that’s five years for all you non-math majors like me) after officers found pot, coke, and a firearm in his vehicle. He was released for good behavior, or whatever the f-ck you get released early for when you’re on probation, back in May of 2011.

Ironically enough, Snoop’s bus was stopped at almost the same place where Willie Nelson was busted for weed back in 2010. My guess is that border patrol had the heads-up that Snoop would be rolling through and had planned ahead of time on stopping his bus ’cause they figured it’d be a sure bet.

How do you guys feel about all this – cut Snoop a break or let the law lay ‘em down low?

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You Know Who Hasn’t Done a Good Movie in Awhile? MILEY CYRUS.

And don’t worry – she’s not breaking the trend here or anything. LOL looks pretty tired, too. I mean, it’s Mean Girls without Lindsay Lohan’s dirty gitch and painful adolescent grimaces from chicks who care too much about clothes. But wait: it’s also got scenes in Paris (oui oui) and Demi Moore and Ashley Greene, so I gather that’s supposed to be the film’s redeeming qualities. But it’s not.

Here’s the official synopsis from IMDB:

In a world connected by YouTube, iTunes, and Facebook, Lola and her friends navigate the peer pressures of high school romance and friendship while dodging their sometimes overbearing and confused parents.

Also, if you saw the trailer, you MUST have noticed a brief scene where Demi Moore’s character (who is Miley’s character’s mom) reads girlfriend’s diary. Ugh, can you believe that? A mom who checks up on their teenager’s day-to-day doings and relationship rantings behind their backs? Gosh. All that practice and you’d think that Demi would have learned a thing or two by maybe reading Ashton‘s diary. She might’ve actually saved herself some heartache (and the possibility of contracting venereal disease). Jeez. And they say acting’s not a real job. I mean, it sure produces real life lessons if you ask me, and probably if you ask Demi, too.

Oh, and way to go, Miley, for doing another movie that I definitely won’t see. Thanks a bunch, girl!