From The Mirror:

Demi Moore and Ashton ­Kutcher could be on course for a sensational reconciliation. The glamorous couple, whose break-up shocked Hollywood, have put their divorce plans on ice.

They met for the first time this week since Demi, 49, dumped her husband of six years and went into rehab after claims that he had cheated. The pair were locked in a 60-second embrace at the birthday party of the man who officiated at their wedding and friends are sure their feelings for each other are as strong as ever.

A source told the Sunday Mirror: “They are still desperately in love and could be on for a reconciliation. The divorce isn’t being processed right now.”

Demi had been laying down hints all week on Twitter that she could be ready to forgive and start from scratch. And Ashton, 34, had tears in his eyes as he made a speech at the party, declaring: “I’ve made all these horrendous mistakes in the last year.”

A guest at the 40th birthday bash for Kaballah Rabbi Yehuda Berg said: “Ashton’s voice started to break as he spoke. He just fell into tears. He sat down to a round of applause while Demi just looked ­frozen.”

Ashton had arrived at the InterContinental Hotel in Beverly Hills two hours before Indecent Proposal star Demi.

A guest said: “Ashton was there quietly socialising and Demi showed up a couple of hours later looking amazing. She went over to wish Yehuda a happy birthday and Ashton was right by him. Yehuda left them to talk. They started to chat and were extremely affectionate. She was ­staring at him like a love-sick puppy.”

The witness added: “They both sat at the front with a mutual friend between them. Demi got up to speak and spoke about family not necessarily being your blood but being people who love you. Then Ashton got up and he spoke about how amazing Yehuda was. He said that if Yehuda is your friend, he’ll love you unconditionally, no ­matter what mistakes you’ve made, before making the emotional admission that he had made mistakes. It was obvious he was referring to the break-up.”

Yeah, I checked out Demi’s Twitter to see all those hints, but surprisingly, I couldn’t find any, so I think I’m going to go ahead and say that this isn’t going to happen. I think the era of Demi and Aston is pretty much over, don’t you? Or could any of you see an upcoming reconciliation?

The caption to the above photo? “Testing….”

If you’re unsure who that nose belongs to, it’s Demi Moore, and this is the first activity we’ve seen on Twitter since January 7th. Can you believe it? Three whole months have gone by that Demi’s not said a thing on her favorite personal outlet of all time. Don’t you guys remember a time when it’d be commonplace to see what Demi was wearing that day, or to hear cryptic messages about seeing through people (gee, wonder who that one ended up being about), or even seeing her get a DENTAL IMPLANT.

Also, she’s still using the MrsKutcher handle. Talk about awkward.

You guys excited about the return of Demi Moore?

Oh, so you mean it’s real then. Or, at least as “real” as a relationship between two complete f-cking morons can be, anyway, right? Sources close to Demi claim that the budding relationship between her estranged husband and Rihanna has her “sick to her stomach.” They also claim that Demi’s becoming obsessive about finding out information about the two:

“Demi is constantly keeping tabs on Ashton so when these pictures came up she was understandably devastated. Demi’s convinced something happened between them and said she felt ‘sick to her stomach’. Demi is in such a fragile state, even the idea of them together has affected her quite badly. She’s in a terrible way but, at the end of the day, Ashton is a single man and free to do whatever he likes. Demi can’t believe Ashton would do this. She’s really hurt by the rumors and feels humiliated he’s being linked to other celebrities just a few weeks after she got out of rehab. Demi’s been acting crazy ever since [she found out about Ashton and Rihanna], trying to find out information about the pair.”

Though I’m still not entirely convinced that these two are dating – I mean, I wouldn’t bat an eye hearing that Rihanna would hook up with practically anyone who has a record clear of abuse (and even those who don’t) and who’s moderately famous, but Ashton hooking up with Rihanna? Maybe if this were the case a few years ago, it’d be a major upgrade, but this is Rihanna circa 2012 we’re talking about. Ashton’s definitely no prize by any far cry, and to say that he’s probably the better of the two in this “relationship” makes me sick to my stomach, but Rihanna is kind of floundering in no man’s territory these days. She does interviews where she talks about being insecure, offends Twitter followers with petty BS, and gets really f-cking dumb-ass tattoos. Where’s the appeal in a woman who’s unsure of herself, petty, and who exercises poor judgement? Yeah, she’s decent-looking enough, but sometimes looks aren’t all where it’s at, you know.

Here’s what I think should happen: Demi should internalize some of these feelings, if they are, indeed, real. I’m not saying that people should be suppressing their feelings, because that’s just bad, but there are definitely some things you need to keep to yourself. Demi needs to do that if, again, this is all real talk we’re dealing with.

As for Ashton, he just needs to … I don’t know. Maybe not be famous anymore. Dudes like him are a dime a dozen – they don’t give a flying shit about anyone’s feelings but their own, and they’ll use anyone and everyone to get what they want. People need to really avoid this kind of person, because the only one getting hurt in the end will be them. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

Finally, Rihanna just needs to grow the f-ck up. I know she’s only twenty-four years old, and though that doesn’t give her a pass to be stupid, she’s stupid. Bitch is dumb. She had a real opportunity to be a positive role model a few years back, but because of some missteps along the way coupled with fake arrogance covering up some serious self-worth issues, she’s shot. She’s done. Who’s going to take someone seriously who doesn’t even take themselves seriously?

This situation is just one fine mess.

Or so somebody wants us to think, anyway. This is her latest photo shoot with Helena Rubenstein, presumably done before all of this Ashton-cheating business came to light, because I don’t think she’s quite back in the swing of career things just yet.

The shoot isn’t bad, and it’s definitely flattering, especially when you consider how old Demi is, but there’s really only one thing that doesn’t really look like it was touched: her pretty eye color. Wait. No. No, it was. My bad. See, Demi’s got heterochromia iridum, I believe, which is two eyes with two different color irises. One of her eyes is the lovely green that you see in the pictures, and the other eye is hazel. Which is just as lovely, mind you, but apparently those at Helena Rubenstein preferred to choose the green eye pigmentation over the hazel, and no, I don’t know why. I think Demi’s heterocrhomia iridium is sweet, but hey. I guess when you completely wash away all identifying factors of a woman’s face in an attempt to make her look “flawless,” this is what you get. Here’s a photo of Demi from a few years back which really highlights her eyes:

See? Nothing doing there, but yet since it’s not perfect, it’s not OK. Sigh.

Hope you’re doing well, girl – we’re still pulling for you. Just stay away from the douches, OK?

Ugh, how sad. From Entertainmentwise:

Worried that Demi’s efforts could lead her back to rehab, a concerned friend told Grazia magazine: “Demi definitely isn’t over him yet. Her mood right now relies solely on Ashton and how responsive he is to her messages and phone calls.

“If he doesn’t message her back for a couple of hours or seems distant in a text, she starts freaking out. While she won’t admit it, she is still completely infatuated with him and it’s clear she wants him back.”

Blaming Ashton’s impromptu visit to Demi in rehab for her decision to take him back, Demi’s friend continued: “Demi is her own worst enemy, because she was doing great in rehab until Ashton came to visit her.

“He didn’t actually make it down until a couple of weeks ago, after promising to go numerous times before that. As everyone expected, his visit really threw her off and she went from being relatively calm to very anxious and edgy.”

With reports suggesting that Ashton has moved on from Demi with Lorene Scafaria, it has also been revealed that Demi is in denial about Ashton’s new relationship.

A source told Heat magazine: “Demi doesn’t know much about Lorene, as she’s been shielded from the media while in rehab. Demi and Ashton have been texting regularly. She seems to be in denial about the fact he is thinking of settling down with another woman and is looking forward to seeing him.

“Demi’s friends are worried she doesn’t seem to have acknowledged Ashton’s new relationship.”

Damn. And here I thought Demi was going to emerge from rehab somewhat stronger and less reliant on douchebags that aren’t worth her time. If any of this is true, I suppose I was wrong, huh? When is this pretty lady going to smarten up and realize that not only is she way too good for this kind of juvenile dating business, but that she’s also way too smart to be indulging Ashton Kutcher’s piss-poor judgement on whether or not he should be with her.

From Radar Online:

When Demi Moore checked into the Cirque Lodge rehab treatment center in Utah for anorexia and an addiction to prescription pills, she wasn’t allowed to see her weight on the scale, and was weighed backwards because her treatment team doesn’t want her focused on how much she weighs, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

“It’s common treatment practice at Cirque to not allow patients that are being treated for an eating disorder to see how much they weigh when they step on the scale,” an insider tells RadarOnline.com. “Their weights are taken everyday, sometimes several times a day to make sure that they aren’t losing weight while in treatment. Doctors at Cirque don’t want patients to fixate on their weight.

“Eating disorders are all about control, plain and simple. When someone is in the ravages of an eating disorder, their lives are typically out of control. The one thing someone with an eating disorder believes they can control in their lives, is food. Demi isn’t being forced fed or chastised for not wanting to eat though. The counselors at Cirque are working on giving Demi a safe and controlled environment, she is getting the best care possible. She is also dealing with an addiction to prescription medication, and she has a comprehensive team taking care of her.”

Man. Anorexia and prescription medication addiction. How is this poor woman not dead yet?

As you all know, Demi was admitted to the Cirque Lodge rehab earlier this week, and is undergoing serious treatment for a variety of issues, all which probably stem (OK, were exacerbated, is that better? Truth is, this business has been going on a long, long time) from marrying someone who was probably more familiar with her daughters and what they were going through as adolescents than what Demi could be going through as a middle-aged, former Hollywood sex goddess.

It’s clear that Demi was really trying hard to recapture her youth through antics like partying with her twentysomething daughter, hitting up clubs with Miley Cyrus and other nineteen-year-olds, and allegedly trying to hookup with family friend, Zac Efron (who is twenty-four), but when the Mrs. Robinson thing is so contorted and convoluted by drugs and desperation and general illness, it’s not cute, and it’s not fun, and it’s not attractive. And it definitely needs way more careful attention than psychic healing could ever give.

I’m really glad that Demi’s seeking the help that she needs, and it sounds like she’s getting it. I just hope she can stick with the program the entire time and not pull a Lindsay Lohan and check out after six or eight days. That’s just not going to cut it, I’m afraid.