Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Adele Has A New Boyfriend!

A photo of Adele

Do you remember when Julia Roberts said that thing about how Adele‘s music “is so personal that you get invested in her life” and how it was the truest thing that anyone has ever said? Because I do, and it is. I care so much about Adele, you don’t even know. And that’s why I’m so happy that she has a new boyfriend who she seems really happy with. Because nobody deserves it more than her, you guys. Nobody deserves it more than Adele.

The pictures are copyrighted, but you can check them out here and see for yourself how happy Adele looks while hanging out in Florida with her new beau, Simon Konecki. Simon, just so you feel more comfortable about who’s dating our Adele, is 36 years old, and he runs a charity called Drop4Drop, and its mission “is to help alleviate the global water crisis, by giving individuals and businesses the opportunity to offset their water consumption, delivering efficient and accountable clean water projects across the developing world.” Also, he makes her laugh. Sounds like a catch, right?

Here’s something to ponder though: if Adele is as happy as she looks, and if this relationship continues on, how do you think her new music will sound? And of course Adele’s happiness is the most important thing, don’t get me wrong, but it seems like most people love Adele because her music is so heartbreaking. Correct me if I’m wrong here, but I can’t, off the top of my head, think of a single song by Adele that’s about being happy and in love and everything’s wonderful. All my favorite Adele songs are about lost love and broken hearts and damages. Do you think her music will still be as amazing and beautiful if it’s all inspired by happy, fluffy love?

Again, don’t get me wrong! I want you to be happy more than anything, Adele, you know that! Girl, if it would make you happy in your heart to settle down with some dude, have babies, and never write another song again, then I’m behind you, one hundred percent. It just makes me wonder, sister, that’s all.

However, let’s take a moment to imagine an Adele song about tender love that’s just as solid as “Someone Like You,” just as beautifully performed as anything else she’s ever done. Now that’s something to look forward to, isn’t it? That’ll be a song to play at your wedding!*

*If this imaginary song does come to be, I just want you to know that I called this first. Adele’s love song is going to be played at my wedding, I called it, it’s mine. You play Celine Dion at your wedding.**

**Do people play Celine Dion at weddings? Have any of you ever been to a wedding and slow-danced to “My Heart Will Go On”? This is vital information, friends, don’t hold back.

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