Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Did You Guys Watch the X-Factor Last Night?

photo of xfactor judges pictures photos usa 2011 pics

*Waving my arm around excitedly* Ooh, I did, I did! And I loved it! It had all of the fun that a once-loved show by the name of American Idol use to have, and I’m pleased and happy to say that I’ve found a new talent-scouting show to take its place. My life feels complete again, guys. Plus, the talent was amazing. Way more amazing than the that showcased on the first few episodes of Idol. I mean, did you see Stacy Francis, the 42-year-old mom? Holy Jesus, I almost fell off the bed. The bitch had me in tears.

And then there was, of course, the crazy, scary man dressed in some kind of weird track suit who exposed his decidedly floppy penis and made Paula (oh yes, PAULA ABDUL, friends) run to the toilet for a vom sesh.

Then there was Chris Rene, the last act of the night, who performed something called ‘Young Homie,’ and when I heard that he’d be singing something called ‘Young Homie,’ something that he wrote, I just about gagged. But I caught myself in judging before it was time, and listened anyway (not like I was going to shut the damn show off in the last ten minutes). And this guy? THIS GUY? Man. I’m not even going to spoil the guy’s story for you, because it’s pretty good, so I recommend you just watch the video, and the entire video at that.

Man. Right? RIGHT? Damn. He’s got me going all over again. I’ve got to go and take some Tylenol and wipe my eyes. I am a damn BASKET CASE today.

What stuck out to you guys as way memorable? Aside from Simon’s crazy-creepy puffer fish eyes, of course. Did you watch it? If so, what did you think? And more importantly, will you be tuning in again tonight?

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