0Ryan Seacrest Hopes You’ll Give ‘American Idol’ Another Chance

How do I put this gently? American Idol sucks ass. It has for years and it continues to get worse. Last year, even with Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey on the panel, the show was boring, uncomfortable and deserved to be canceled. Fox hoped that by bringing back Jennifer Lopez for this season, they can pick up in the ratings again, but seriously, people – just let this shit die already. Oh yeah, Harry Connick Jr.‘s on it, too.

Well, the troll that guards the Idol bridge, Ryan Seacrest, really wants you to give the show another shot to, I dunno, be good?

From The Hollywood Reporter:

“I will say this to those who have watched the show throughout the years and maybe they didn’t watch last year. I ask them to come back and give it another shot this year,” Seacrest told The Hollywood Reporter Friday on the red carpet at the Z100 Jingle Ball 2013 concert at Madison Square Garden. “The judges are so fun,  and they are having such a good time and they get along with each other so well that I think you will see your old American Idol back on the air.”

Well… no, I don’t think so. Even X Factor is shit. I think people are just tired of seeing the same old crap on TV all the time. It’s a fixed “competition” wherein the producers decide pretty early on who they want to win. They give the public the illusion of “voting” for their favourites, but we all know if an unpopular contestant – one that they deem unworthy – came out on top, those votes would be fixed. They prey on people with sob stories and it’s all just a mess. Idol has been on for like, 10 years now. It’s done. Say goodbye. Bow out with some small amount of grace.

That being said, I’ll be watching in January… but not because I enjoy it, because I have to live blog it for another job. It’s the bane of my existence.

December 16, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer

1Mariah Carey On American Idol: “Honestly, I Hated It.”

Mariah Carey is not holding ANYTHING back. She told Hot 97′s Angie Martinez in a radio interview everything about her time spent as a judge on American Idol, and it’s not good. Here’s some of what she said, via People:

Honestly, I hated it. I thought it was going to be a three-person panel [I guess she thought it would be her, Randy Jackson, and anyone but Nicki Minaj]. But it wasn’t that. It was like going to work every day in hell with Satan.

She tried to take it back with a laugh and a,

I’m just playing. It didn’t affect me that much. I was disappointed.

No you are NOT “just playing”. It’s not surprising that everyone but Keith Urban got fired from AI and that J. Lo is coming back. That show was, and is, a mess. The hottest of messes.

Good luck with your new music, Mariah! I don’t blame you for comparing working on that show to hell.

November 13, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

0Here’s Your New ‘American Idol’ Judges Panel

I know we should really be over this whole thing. American Idol, which wore out its welcome on our TV screens back when Paula Abdul left the show, should be canceled. We should all be living in peace to try and overcome our nightmares of Randy Jackson calling everyone “dawg”, but alas… we’re back with another season, and a new-ish judges panel that will really… underwhelm you.

We already knew Jennifer Lopez was back to cash an easy check (though she swears it’s not for the money, LOL) and that Harry Connick Jr. was joining her. But had we seen them all together? Where’s poor Keith Urban? Well, seek no further: they’ve posed for their first photo together.

Okay, this has to be said: How fucking terrible does this panel look? What a bizarre combination of humans! It’s not that I particularly care about either of them on their own, but putting them together seems so wrong and I honestly cannot see how this is going to work. Then again, maybe producers did it on purpose to finally tank this terrible show once and for all.

What do you think? Will you be watching American Idol this January?

September 4, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

1Harry Connick, Jr. Is Going To Judge The Eff Out Of American Idol

Harry Connick, Jr. has appeared on American Idol here and there as a “mentor” and performer, but now he’s going to be a judge, joining Jennifer Lopez and Keith Urban. I think he’ll be great because I remember in those episodes when the happy Idol kids would have to see Connick and sing for him and he would be really blunt and unimpressed and would dash dreams if necessary. So I’m down for more of that. This means that Dr. Luke will NOT be joining the show. A deal could not be reached.  The Hollywood Reporter was first to pick up the story. Here’s a bit of AI lunacy from THR:

Earlier this week, THR reported that Connick was a contender for the gig as Fox was reluctant to bring another woman on board after last season’s friction between Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj, which did not play well with the show’s key older female demographic. While the network had hoped to bring an industry professional into the mix, time is of the essence. Had the show not signed a third judge soon, production could have faced a delay.

Wow, way to go, Fox. You’d rather delay your show than hire another woman.

Anyway I think HC Jr. will be great. I won’t be watching though, because I haven’t watched American Idol since that awful country music singing kid won and Steven Tyler was a host and the whole thing was just a big mess.

Is Harry Connick, Jr. giving anyone else MAJOR Jeff Goldblum vibes?

August 31, 2013 at 2:00 pm by Catherine St. Ives

0Why God Why: Dr. Luke Joins the ‘American Idol’ Panel

Dr. Luke is one of the best pop music producers working today, so there would be no way in hell that he would lower himself to the point of joining the American Idol judges panel, right? Like, nothing would be worth that indignity, not even if they offered him millions of dollars? Well, money talks and bullshit walks, as they say, because Dr. Luke has officially joined the show. WHYYYYYYYYYY?

From E! Online:

Keith Urban and Jennifer Lopez have a new seat partner on the American Idol judging panel.

E! News can confirm that music producer Dr. Luke has officially signed on as the 3rd judge for the Fox reality show.

Rumors that the musician, real name Lukasz Gottwald, was “close to signing” for the spot began hitting the Internet earlier this week, after it was revealed that Black Eyed Peas frontman will.i.am turned down the gig.

It was reported that will.i.am declined the Idol job to return as a coach on The Voice U.K. for season three.

Regardless, Dr. Luke’s got some pretty awesome chart-toppers under his belt, making him a great addition to the show.

The songwriter-producer is responsible for hits such as Kelly Clarkson‘s “Since U Been Gone,” Ke$ha‘s “Tik Tok” and Katy Perry‘s “California Gurls.”

Ugh, I mean… whatever and all. He’ll definitely be a great judge and it’s a coup for the show, I just don’t see WHY, just like I don’t see why Jennifer Lopez is coming back or why Mariah Carey or Nicki Minaj were ever there or any of it. American Idol needs to die. I guess it’s better than having to watch Scooter Braun.

August 26, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer

0Is Justin Bieber’s Manager Scooter Braun Headed to ‘American Idol’?

God, I hope not. Scooter Braun looks like a dillweed of the highest degree, though I suppose you have to give him his due on exploiting a pre-teen to make millions and millions of bucks off him. Nothing like a grown man named Scooter, am I right? He’s also working with Carly Rae Jepsen and The Wanted now, so I guess he’s expanding his clientele and that makes him worthy of being a judge on American Idol… at least according to Jennifer Lopez (?????).

From US Weekly:

The insider tells Us that the 32-year-old talent manager has met with producers and returning judge Jennifer Lopez to discuss his possible role on the show. “Jennifer loves Scooter and feels he’d be an excellent choice,” the source says. “She would love him to be a judge.” (Sources confirmed to Us on Aug. 17 that the 44-year-old singer will be returning to the show after serving as a judge in 2011 and 2012. She will join Keith Urban, who has already signed on for a second consecutive year on Idol; Mariah Carey, Nicki Minaj and longtime judge Randy Jackson announced their departures earlier this year.)

The only possible problem? The insider tells Us that Braun would want to manage the American Idol winner, but creator Simon Fuller already has the job.

Well… that’s nice, I guess? Dr. Luke is also in the running to head to the panel, apparently, and while he would be AMAZING, I surely hope he has enough common sense not to board the Titanic, if you feel me.

August 22, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer