Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Poor Jessica Simpson Might Get A Breast Reduction to Lose Weight

A photo of Jessica Simpson

Well, I guess not to lose weight, even though technically she would get rid of a few pounds. No, Jessica Simpson just really wants to look thinner for her wedding. That’s understandable, I’m sure a lot of ladies feel that way, but Jessica, I’m not sure that a breast reduction is the right way to go.

From In Touch via Celebitchy:

Most women would kill for killer cleavage. But not Jessica Simpson. The singer is so distraught over her fuller-than-ever figure, she’s telling friends that she’s going under the knife. “She thinks that if she downsizes her breasts, she will look smaller,” a friend of Jessica’s tells In Touch.

The only question in Jessica’s mind, says the friend, is when. “She hasn’t decided if she’ll get it done before the wedding,” says the pal. “She wants to, but she fears being laid up for a week or more so close to the date.”

As In Touch has reported, Jessica and fiancé Eric Johnson, 32, had asked friends and family to reserve November 11, but she’s reconsidering. “She’s in such limbo about what to do,” says the friend of Jessica, who another insider tells In Touch is terrified of being a “plus-size bride” (even though she’s not really even plus-size!). Says the insider: “Jessica wants to waltz down the aisle — not waddle.”

However, despite attempts to slim down, she’s heavier than ever. “Jessica used to never be able to resist looking in mirrors, but now she avoids them like the plague,” says the insider, who puts her current weight at the “wrong side of 140 pounds.”

Even a pre-wedding escape to Mexico (on August 25) did nothing to boost her spirits. Jessica, 31, who packed flowing caftans in place of sexy bikinis, “is at her wit’s end,” says the insider. “If the weight doesn’t come off soon, she might either call off her wedding or get surgery. She’s that desperate.” Predicts the friend, “If she does postpone, breast reduction is on her to-do list.”

Oh, girl.  This is not the right path.  If this is the only reason, just keep those magical things and try a different different diet, or get your sister to teach you how to live off souls. Please, Jessica, anything but this.

5 CommentsLeave a comment

  • You know what, I love Jessica. I mean, no one else I know has the ability to cheer me up with a mere thought. Every time I see her image or hear that name, I’m reminded of that picture of her with her foot in a grate, arms akimbo, and a puzzled-shocked expression on her face. I mean, why would walking over a grate in high-heels be an issue? *chuckling*

    You know that expression you see in a baby when you maliciously feed them picante sauce? That’s what I imagine flashed across her face, as no one stopped her from plodding innocently right into the middle of that grate.

    Anyway, her dumb ideas (this one included) always bring a tear to my eye, like her slightly-more-dumb soul mate Tara. (Which reminds me, I don’t think you guys’ve reported that she just got dumped (right after she started) from Big Brother in the UK and whined about it. Tara getting booed and booted is funny.)

    So, if I understand it, she’s trying to simultaneously run her (soon-to-be) husband, kill her ‘career’, and kill papa joe all in one fell swoop. I mean, it’d be like little Kimmy saying she’s gonna hit the stair-stepper to lose that butt. (I originally typed loose, but I’m betting that moose is loose enough already!)

    If I was her husband-to-be *shudder*, I’d say: “Babe, meet slim fast. Slim fast, meet babe’s manager. Monnah, meet my wallet!” I mean, I’d win and win.

    Good god. A breast reduction. I can only think of this as parental rebellion.

    Don’t get me wrong, she’s still an attractive lady. It wouldn’t be like, say, Pamela Anderson getting a breast-tragic-mangling! She isn’t cutting off her arms and legs or anything here. It’d be more like gouging out an eye.

  • Losing boob size won’t make her look smaller but it WILL make her look fatter. Look at middle aged women with the big middles that are bigger than their bustline. Not a good look. Jessica please…that age hits soon enough. Don’t force it early. Damn. If you gotta lose something via surgery….do it around the belly and waistline. Or how about something novel….accept your body for what it is — sexy and volumptious (sp? I don’t feel like looking this word up, don’t judge). There are about a million women who would trade places with your body type in a hot minute.