Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson wants a Kim Kardashian ass

jessica simpson kim kardashian

Jessica Simpson may have shed pounds and got super ripped lately, but apparently she’s still not happy with her body and is considering surgical enhancements to her backside to get an ass more like Kim Kardashian‘s. GOD NO.

From The National Enquirer (LOL) (via Radar Online):

“Jessica has always felt competitive with Kim, but since she got her figure back it’s gone up another level. She’s been poring over photos of Kim’s butt for weeks, studying it from as many angles as she can,” an insider told The National ENQUIRER.

“But Jess realizes there’s no way she could get a sexy booty like Kim’s with just exercise. So she’s been looking into fillers and various butt lift options to see which procedure will give her the same shape.”

“She’s checking out all other options first before going under the knife, but Jessica wants people to be talking about her booty before the end of the year.”

I mean, this has got to be a joke, right? Nevermind the source – I just can’t imagine anyone actually wanting to look like a walking piece of plastic with a massive ass. Leave it alone, girl. Even Kim didn’t get her “sexy booty” (barf) with just exercise. It’s fat from other parts of her body shot into her ass with a needle. HELLO.

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Jessica Simpson is here to remind you that she’s super hot

jessica simpson

Jessica Simpson worked really hard to get her body in shape, and she’s going to show it off at every possible opportunity. She turned up to sister Ashlee‘s bachelorette party over the weekend in a swimsuit which nearly could not contain her bountiful bosom and basically killed the leg game 100%. Talk about muscle! Homegirl is FIT.

I think Jessica looks fantastic, and you know what they say – smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. Why shouldn’t she show off her fit physique? She worked hard for her body, so it’s good she’s enjoying it and feeling good about herself. (Then again, I wish all women would feel good about themselves regardless of whether they had a body like this or not, but that’s a whole other post.)

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Jessica Simpson is a married woman!

jessica simpson eric johnson

We’ve talked about it, dreamt about it, speculated about it and waited with bated breath, and now it’s finally happened: Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson are married! They tied the knot yesterday in California.

From US Weekly:

The couple said “I do” at the lavish San Ysidro Ranch.

Simpson, 33, and the former NFL player, 34, were feted by their closest family and friends, including the singer’s parents Joe and Tina Simpson, sister Ashlee Simpson and fiance Evan Ross, CaCee Cobb and husband Donald Faison, and Jessica Alba and beau Cash Warren. Ashlee and Cobb were bridesmaids for the special occasion. The couple’s daughter Maxwell, 2, and son Ace, 13, months, also played special roles.

During the ceremony, an instrumental version of Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” was played, according to an insider. At one point, cheers and claps erupted from the covered tent, which were decorated with stunning chandeliers.

Simpson and Johnson made it a fun-filled weekend for their guests, as they kicked back and relaxed with a good old fashioned BBQ to celebrate the Fourth of July a day earlier. Guests danced, sang karaoke, and played outdoor activities like corn hole, horseshoes and croquet. “They all seemed to be having a really good time!” an insider told Us.

Aw, it sounds really sweet. I can’t help it – I have a soft spot for Jess and think she seems really down-to-earth and genuine and totally precious. I don’t know if that’s a genuine feeling about her or latent patronization from the whole “chicken of the sea” incident so many years ago, but I’m just embracing it. Congrats to the happy couple!

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