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Did you see the Lifetime made-for-TV movie about The Craigslist Killer? Of course you did, and then you watched the hourlong documentary right after. Did you see the one starring Jennifer Love Hewitt as a down-on-her-luck suburban hooker? Yes! You did! You watched it because you are such a huge Ghost Whisperer fan.
So when you read that Rob Lowe was cast as the dashing violent misogynist in a Lifetime Movie, you were a little surprised. But then you got excited! Rob Lowe can do sinister. Rob Lowe can do sociopath. And most importantly, for younger audiences anyway, Rob Lowe can do Daddy Issues. Hot.
Unfortunately, Rob Lowe was cast as killer husband Drew Peterson.
“Didn’t Lifetime already make a movie about that Peterson guy?” you are asking yourself. “Starring Dean Cain? Or am I thinking of an episode of Law and Order: SVU?”
Poor Dean Cain was typecast as Scott Peterson, the so-perfect-he-must-be-evil husband. Rob Lowe, on the other hand, has been cast as Drew Peterson, the dowdy ex-cop from the Chicago ‘burbs who was eventually revealed as a modern-day Bluebeard. You know, Drew Peterson — salt-and-pepper hair, mustache, married a 23-year-old girl, killed her…?
So this whole casting debacle is quadruple-confusing, not only because Scott Peterson isn’t Drew Peterson, but also because Rob Lowe is all wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Rob Lowe, it just isn’t you!
The part of Drew Peterson should have gone, obviously, to my favorite actual-real-life Chicago ex-cop, actor Dennis Farina. He’s even got a mustache, usually! And he plays a great bad guy! Lifetime, just let me cast your true-crime movies for you. I’m totally on top of this.
Oh: The Big Bang Theory’s Kaley Cuoco is playing Stacy — that’s Stacy, not Laci — Peterson. God, why is this so confusing?
Team! I know we can cast this movie way better than the Lifetime Movie Network did. Who should play Drew Peterson in a made-for-TV movie?