4Did Everyone Watch ‘Drew Peterson: Untouchable’ on Lifetime This Weekend? Because Drew Peterson Did
I had big Saturday night plans, you guys. My mother’s nurse and I popped popcorn and uncapped the pickles; we’d been planning our evening for months.
And from 7-9pm CST, we were treated to the magnificent alternate reality that is Drew Peterson: Untouchable.
First of all, I have to hand it to Rob Lowe. His accent was “untouchable,” for sure; he was a cross between Dennis Farina and Malcolm in the Middle‘s Jane Kaczmarek.
I am not going to lie, though: this was the second-worst movie I have ever seen. (A movie called Trespass, which I had watched only the night before, wins by a nose.)
Anyway. Over at Grantland, writer-comedian Max Silvestri has culled all of the best Rob Lowe lines. Most of them are real! (Yes, Rob Lowe repeatedly refers to himself as “Big Daddy” in this movie—it’s true.)
In the meantime, you are perhaps wondering whether to-be-convicted, probably-a-murderer IRL Drew Peterson got a load of Rob Lowe’s portrayal. Turns out Drew Peterson got an advance screening! The Chicago Tribune:
“He thought it was hysterical,” said Joel Brodsky, Peterson’s lead defense attorney. “He chuckled at all of the inaccuracies and things that never happened.”
Oh. The “things that never happened.” Hilarious.
Brodsky showed Peterson the movie for legal reasons, saying it could play an important role in jury selection and whether the defense petitions for a change of venue.
Prosecutors also have said they have a professional obligation to watch it tonight, and plan to do so.
Peterson also did not seem overly worried about the movie’s impact on prospective jurors, Brodsky said.
“Obviously he is concerned people might be influenced by the movie’s inaccuracies,” Brodsky said. “But we agreed that anyone who thinks a Lifetime movie is factual shouldn’t be on a jury in the first place.”
I have, in fact, contemplated the ethics of making a Lifetime movie about a yet-untried, innocent-till-proven-guilty murderer. But I’d never considered the idea of said murderer watching his own bio-pic for legal reasons! Wow! Weird.
(Image via the Chicago Tribune.)
January 23, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Jenn
You guys, I almost totally forgot! The Entertainment Lawyer who scribes Crazy Days and Nights is finally “naming names,” as is his hallowed New Year’s Day tradition.
Emily hit on some of the year’s best, most salacious scandals, but you guys! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.
January 2, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Jenn
Image courtesy NBC Chicago
In mid-June I warned you that hot, hot Rob Lowe had been cast as then-55-year-old wife-killer Drew Peterson, who is comparatively, unsexily swollen. (I also accurately anticipated what Rob Lowe might look like in the role, and it wasn’t pretty.)
And here he is now, in 9 hours’ makeup, for his part in the upcoming made-for-TV movie Untouchable. Oh, my beloved Rob Lowe! Why? Why are you denigrating your own talent and good looks—especially your good looks—for Lifetime? Yes, Lifetime.
I said it in June, but I must reiterate: I cannot understand why they cast anybody but Dennis Farina as this mustachioed Chicagoland villain. AM I THE ONLY SANE PERSON LEFT?
July 11, 2011 at 5:30 am by Jenn
Photo by Dave M. Benett/Getty Images
Did you see the Lifetime made-for-TV movie about The Craigslist Killer? Of course you did, and then you watched the hourlong documentary right after. Did you see the one starring Jennifer Love Hewitt as a down-on-her-luck suburban hooker? Yes! You did! You watched it because you are such a huge Ghost Whisperer fan.
So when you read that Rob Lowe was cast as the dashing violent misogynist in a Lifetime Movie, you were a little surprised. But then you got excited! Rob Lowe can do sinister. Rob Lowe can do sociopath. And most importantly, for younger audiences anyway, Rob Lowe can do Daddy Issues. Hot.
Unfortunately, Rob Lowe was cast as killer husband Drew Peterson.
“Didn’t Lifetime already make a movie about that Peterson guy?” you are asking yourself. “Starring Dean Cain? Or am I thinking of an episode of Law and Order: SVU?”
Poor Dean Cain was typecast as Scott Peterson, the so-perfect-he-must-be-evil husband. Rob Lowe, on the other hand, has been cast as Drew Peterson, the dowdy ex-cop from the Chicago ‘burbs who was eventually revealed as a modern-day Bluebeard. You know, Drew Peterson — salt-and-pepper hair, mustache, married a 23-year-old girl, killed her…?
So this whole casting debacle is quadruple-confusing, not only because Scott Peterson isn’t Drew Peterson, but also because Rob Lowe is all wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
June 15, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Jenn
A long, long time ago I had the hots for Rob Lowe. But that was after the crush on his older brother, Chad Lowe, has run its course. Remember Life Goes On? Chad Lowe played Becca’s HIV-stricken boyfriend who eventually died? Man, he was the hottest dying man I’d ever seen, even at the young age of, like, ten.
Rob’s career has come to a sort of revival, and in honor of a new book he’s written, he was offered the cover – and an interview – with Vanity Fair, where he discussed excerpts from his book about both Tom Cruise and Patrick Swayze. About Tom Cruise, Lowe says:
“He’s open, friendly, funny, and has an almost robotic, bloodless focus and an intensity that I’ve never encountered before.” In New York for the second round of auditions, Lowe finds that Cruise is “already showing traits that will make him famous; he’s zeroed in like a laser.” “We check into the Plaza Hotel. I am taken aback at the luxury and spectacle of the lobby…. The front desk tells us we will be sharing rooms,” Lowe writes of the actors’ arrival in the Big Apple. “In a flash, Cruise is on the phone to his agent, Paula Wagner. ‘Paula, they are making us share,’ he says…. The rest of us are staggering around like happy goofs….. ‘O.K., then. Thank you very much,’ he says like a 50-year-old businessman getting off the phone with his stockbroker. ‘Paula says it’s fine.’”
Lowe remembers hanging out with Cruise and the other actors in a gymnasium on set, when Patrick Swayze—who, Lowe writes, “makes Tom Cruise look lobotomized”—“begins to teach us a standing backflip…. When it comes to flips, I’m a pussy. I don’t flip. I don’t even dive into a pool—straight cannonball for me…. No, thanks. Cruise, not surprisingly, is all over it. ‘How about this!’ he says, almost pulling it off without even being spotted. He wipes out, but tries it again immediately.”
OK, so I gather that Tom Cruise was a cheesy tool even back in the day. Not surprising. And Patrick Swayze was always hot. Alright. So, shoot me if I’m wrong, but the book actually sounds kind of interesting, and hell. It’s something I might actually read and enjoy. So, hey, publishing house in charge of stumping for Rob’s book – hook a sister up. I promise to write a rave review even if the book sucks, in exchange for a hot night of sex with the still-totally-bangable Rob Lowe. Fair, yes?
March 30, 2011 at 6:30 am by Sarah
Last night was the premiere of The Invention of Lying or as I see it, last night was was the night that Jennifer Garner let everyone know that she does like Ricky Gervais but does not like Rob Lowe.
Clearly, Jennifer has her pre-baby body back into fighting form. She wore an absolutely beautiful sheath dress by Gucci that is hand-embroidered and beaded. Speaking of looking svelte, check out Ricky Gervais, huh? Though he’s been known for pissing off fat people everywhere, he was always a little stout himself. Not so much anymore. Oh, and he may spent too much time wagging his scrotum in his nannies faces, but Rob Lowe is still really, really hot.
Also there: Jonah Hill, Kenny G, Jay Manuel and Paris Latsis. If you don’t remember, Paris is the shipping heir who was engaged to the other Paris — Paris Hilton — for a short period of time in 2005. The photo agencies are tagging him as an Executive Producer. I wonder if he has a better grasp of the “producer” job description than his ex-fiancee?