Oh dude if there were ever a bigger sadwreck than Jessica Simpson. I dig the girl, I do – but her life just keeps getting sadder and sadder under the guise of the down-home bliss of singing for chili cookoffs, getting engaged to former F-list sports stars, and being dumped time after time after time for women who look much like her, but are just, ahem, the upgrade.
I mean, come on. This is not the face of a happy-go-lucky girl that has the world at her feet.
Drinking your woes away won’t bring back 1998, Jess, nor will it make you more universally appealing to your financial leech/loser boyfriend, whateverthefuckhisnameis. Find another way to dull the pain, girlfriend.