Jessica Simpson’s pregnant, so some new wife of an ex just had to have the had the honor to be with child, and we all know that Vanessa Minnillo is just Nick Lachey’s beard and he actually can’t get within five feet of a willing vagina without breaking out into hives.
During a visit to Cedar Hill High School near Dallas, a student asked if he has any children. “Um, no, I don’t have any kids,” Romo replied, following up with, “I’ve actually got one on the way. My wife’s pregnant.”
As the students clapped, Romo, 31, smiled, raised his fist and said, “It’ll be fun.”
Indeed, Tony, it’ll be fun; congrats! And it’s good – real good – to know your manhood (and football team!) still work just fine after going through the Simpson Mangler.
October 26, 2011 at 4:30 am by Sarah
Tony’s future wife is Candace Crawford, a news anchor in Dallas and also a beauty queen. He proposed at some restaurant in Dallas, he got her a nice ass ring, so on and so forth. But I don’t care about that. I care about how this is the first serious girlfriend Tony had after Jessica, and about how the proposal happened on her birthday. Way to cut deep, Tony.
You know what this means, right? This means that Jessica will retaliate by getting pregnant (retaliation by engagement was already taken. How’s that feel, Nick Lachey?), and not just any kind of pregnant. She’ll get “oh, I just forgot to take my birth control for the past few months” pregnant or “oh, sorry, I heard it was totally the right thing to do to poke holes in all the condoms” pregnant or “oh, no, it’s totally fine, don’t pull out” pregnant (because I can definitely see Jessica believing wholeheartedly in the pull out method, can’t you?). Seriously, I’m calling a vengeance baby announcement by spring.
December 17, 2010 at 2:48 pm by Emily
I wrote earlier today about the outfit Jess wore to her David Letterman appearance — a lot of you loved it, but I still think it’s kind of ridic.
Now that we actually have footage of Jessica on the show — talking about Tony Romo and John Mayer (“He gave away my game!!), among other things — I have a very important question: Why can’t she talk like a normal human being??? Doesn’t it seem like she’s holding her mouth a little tight? It doesn’t look like she recently got Botox or anything, but there’s definitely something odd going on.
That said, it’s a pretty adorable interview, and I like her a lot more after watching it.
Lastly: How fucking amazing is the quality on YouTube these days??? This is a damn sharp video. Pretty soon I’ll be able to sit in bed all day and my entire life will just play out over the Internet. Oh, wait. That already happened.
March 11, 2010 at 1:06 pm by Evil Beet
I’m just kidding y’all! Jessica Simpson is “sad, mad and confused” because she just listened to some of her past CDs and can’t figure out how she ever became famous. Ack! Kidding again!
Jessica Simpson is “sad, mad and confused” over being dumped by Tony Romo. Apparently she never saw it coming. Which certainly leaves me a bit confused. Everyone in the world knew it. How could she not?
Here’s a life lesson: If you are telling anyone who will listen that you are getting hitched, but the guy isn’t giving you a ring, a date, or a plan, he’s not marrying you. Why is that so hard to understand?
Anyway, Jess, chins up! It just means Mr. Right is still out there waiting for you. Probably at some Texas chili cook-off.
July 16, 2009 at 7:59 am by Wendie
Oh, man! Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson on Thursday – the night before her 29th birthday!
Originally, Jess planned to have a Barbie and Ken party, but ended up Tweeting “Barbie party didn’t happen, but I turned 29 and feel like I am on top of the world yelling I LOVE GETTING OLDER!” Another Tweet on Sunday read “Everyone needs to know that hope floats … grab the strings and pull it back to you.”
A source spoke with People and said “She is heartbroken. She loves Tony. But it’s been difficult lately. He’s busy with his career and she’s getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways.” Tony’s training camp starts in two weeks. I wonder if this break will improve his on-field performance.
First Vanessa and Nick. Now Tony and Jess. The ex-Newlyweds are not having a good time of it.
July 13, 2009 at 11:16 am by Wendie
This shit ran in the New York Post.
And you guys think bloggers are mean.