Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Tony Romo

Of Course Tony Romo’s Wife is Pregnant

photo of jessica simpson and tony romo pictures dating break up photos pics

Jessica Simpson’s pregnant, so some new wife of an ex just had to have the had the honor to be with child, and we all know that Vanessa Minnillo is just Nick Lachey’s beard and he actually can’t get within five feet of a willing vagina without breaking out into hives.

From People:

During a visit to Cedar Hill High School near Dallas, a student asked if he has any children. “Um, no, I don’t have any kids,” Romo replied, following up with, “I’ve actually got one on the way. My wife’s pregnant.”

As the students clapped, Romo, 31, smiled, raised his fist and said, “It’ll be fun.”

Indeed, Tony, it’ll be fun; congrats! And it’s good – real good – to know your manhood (and football team!) still work just fine after going through the Simpson Mangler.

Another One of Jessica Simpson’s Exes Is Engaged …

A photo of Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo

… And it’s this guy! Tony Romo, you guys.  You remember him. He’s the guy that dumped Jessica last year on her birthday.

Tony’s future wife is Candace Crawford, a news anchor in Dallas and also a beauty queen.  He proposed at some restaurant in Dallas, he got her a nice ass ring, so on and so forth.  But I don’t care about that.  I care about how this is the first serious girlfriend Tony had after Jessica, and about how the proposal happened on her birthday.  Way to cut deep, Tony.

You know what this means, right?  This means that Jessica will retaliate by getting pregnant (retaliation by engagement was already taken.  How’s that feel, Nick Lachey?), and not just any kind of pregnant.  She’ll get “oh, I just forgot to take my birth control for the past few months” pregnant or “oh, sorry, I heard it was totally the right thing to do to poke holes in all the condoms” pregnant or “oh, no, it’s totally fine, don’t pull out” pregnant (because I can definitely see Jessica believing wholeheartedly in the pull out method, can’t you?).  Seriously, I’m calling a vengeance baby announcement by spring.

WTF Is Wrong with Jessica Simpson’s Mouth???

I wrote earlier today about the outfit Jess wore to her David Letterman appearance — a lot of you loved it, but I still think it’s kind of ridic.

Now that we actually have footage of Jessica on the show — talking about Tony Romo and John Mayer (“He gave away my game!!), among other things — I have a very important question: Why can’t she talk like a normal human being??? Doesn’t it seem like she’s holding her mouth a little tight? It doesn’t look like she recently got Botox or anything, but there’s definitely something odd going on.

That said, it’s a pretty adorable interview, and I like her a lot more after watching it.

Lastly: How fucking amazing is the quality on YouTube these days??? This is a damn sharp video. Pretty soon I’ll be able to sit in bed all day and my entire life will just play out over the Internet. Oh, wait. That already happened.