Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan Is Clearly Not Happy About This Whole Jail Thing

But come on. Who wouldn’t cry if they were told to not pass blow go, not collect $200, and go directly (OK, in a couple weeks, anyway) to jail?

We have an exclusive video of Lindsay’s plea to judge Marsha Revel, but as you’re all aware, it was rendered fruitless.

I’m definitely with Beet on this one; I love Lindsay. I want nothing more for her than to do this jail thing, serve even the majority of the time, and come out to kick ass in fixing her life. I want a Mean Girls redux, another “album,” and more (sober) wacked-out family drama involving America’s Favorite Asshat, Michael Lohan. I want the real Linds to re-emerge after the dust settles. I want her to leave her fragile, broken shell of an existence in the antiseptic prison cells that she’ll call “home” for a period of time, and I want her never to turn back.

This is it, Lindsay. This is finally your chance to straighten the fuck up. I’m not gonna lie — I’m rather amused by the photos and coverage that your ass is getting, because drama is so delish, but hey. The only one who’s going to fix this for you is you. Jail kind of did wonders for Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, so once again, follow others’ footsteps. This time it might actually do you some good.

I’ll pulling for you too, girl, so don’t be crazy in between now and July 20th. Check on into LA’s famed hoosegow, and let its lime green walls soothe your broken spirit.

16 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Fuck you Sarah! I hope you fall on your ass someday and the whole world laughs you parasite

  • Uh yeah.. Incompliant is a word.

    Anonymous needs to have the parasite that crawled up his/her ass removed stat. Get a life fucktard. Not sure what you come here for but I come for the snark..that’s what celebrity gossip is about right? If you don’t like it, hop back in your douche canoe and row.

    • I died at “hop back in your douche canoe and row.” With your permission, of course, I’d totally like to pirate that phrase.

      • Nope, I meant incompliant. As far as Merriam-Webster and The American Heritage dictionary are concerned(among others) it is in fact, a word.

    • well then she’s using it wrong, she is saying as far as she knew she was being incompliant when what she means is simply compliant.

  • Pirate away! There’s just something about the combination of the words douche and canoe that I cannot get enough of.. :) Maybe it’s any word in combination with douche..huh..

  • Lindsay will say all the right things once she gets out of jail, stay clean and sober for about 1 – 2 weeks tops, then get wasted out of her mind.

    She’ll never learn until she really crashes and burns. This isn’t even close.