Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Tiger Woods Can’t Take the Heat

Tiger Woods Shuts Down Online Comments Everyone has had something to say about the Tiger Woods scandal and go figure, most of it is less than complimentary. Many former fans have taken to Tiger's website the past couple of weeks and berated and belittled the golf pro for his extramarital affairs, and Tiger decided that he's had enough of that. From E! Online: Following Woods' final blog entry announcing his indefinite departure from the sport, the option to leave remarks on blog posts appears to have been removed from the site e...

Tiger Woods’ Personal Hell Is Now Accessible to You at All Times

Tiger Woods I just checked my list of Twitter followers, and I'm being followed by E! Online's latest Twitter creation, the @TigerGossip, the latest and greatest way for you to watch Tiger's entire life plummet like a golf ball hit into a water trap. (Was that good? I don't really do golph analogies.) I don't know if the world is ending or if this is actually kind of a really good idea on E!'s part. What I do know? Homeboy just lost his Tag Heuer sponsorship deal, after Accenture, Gillette and Gato...

Tiger Woods is a Cocky Bastard

Tiger Woods You'd think that getting caught with over a dozen mistresses would be a sure sign that your ass is about to get dumped, but I guess if your ego is as inflated as Tiger Woods' you might not come to that conclusion. While there are rumors circulating that Tiger's wife Elin Nordegren is planning on going through with a divorce, sources close to Tiger say that he's still hopeful that they can salvage their relationship and is doing everything in his power to keep her in his life. I'm not a relatio...

Wives Crawl Up Their Husbands’ Asses in Light of Tiger Woods Scandal

Katy and Kris Allen The Tiger Woods scandal has gotten pretty out of hand (I know! I know! I am a part of the problem! This is the last mention of Tiger today unless something completely amazing breaks), and lots of people out there are questioning their spouses faith in light of the news that even the most seemingly boring dude in the world was caught having fourteen mistresses. Last night former American Idol contestant Kris Allen told TMZ that his wife Katy has been "all over him" ever since she read up on Tige...

Tiger Woods Killed Golf

alg_tiger-woods Last weekend, Tiger skipped the Chevron World Challenge, a tournament he founded, and NBC's telecast was down 54% compared with last year, when he competed in the event. Experts predict that golf may never fully rebound. "Without Woods, televised tournaments are like a major motion picture without a star's name above the title -- rarely do people go to see the flick," said Bill Carroll, VP and director of programming at Katz TV Group. "Now only die-hard golf fans will watch the tournaments."...

Annnnnnnddddddd Tiger Woods Just Lost His First Endorsement Deal

Tiger Woods I was wondering on Friday "When do I get to start writing stories about how all the companies who pay Tiger Woods to endorse them will start firing him and then he'll really be screwed?" Well, Happy Freakin' Monday! It's happened! Some international consulting firm that was working with Tiger has officially decided to end their relationship with him in light of the fact that he's a cheating bastard. From People.com: "After careful consideration and analysis, the company has determined that...

Tiger Woods Admits Infidelity, Announces ‘Indefinite Break’ from Golf

More Bad News For Tiger Woods In a statement posted late last night to Tiger Woods' personal website, the golfer admitted his infidelity and announced that he is taking an break from golf, indefinitely. I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try. I would like to ask everyo...

Court Order Might Prevent Me from Publishing this Photo of Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods gets Felt Up by the Coug in 2001 Tiger Woods' was granted an injunction in a British court prohibiting the publication of photos of him "taken or obtained in certain circumstances." "For the avoidance of doubt, this order is not to be taken as an admission that any such photographs exist," Schillings said in a letter sent to legal departments of British publications. "Our client is not aware of any images and in any event he would not have consented to any such photographs being taken, nor would he have consented to the ...

Porn Star Holly Sampson Announced in May That She’d Slept with Tiger Woods

Lately, it feels like approximately 45% of my interpersonal contact is composed of Tiger Woods jokes. Like I'll point out a dent in a car in a parking lot to a date: "Oh, yeah, huh. Looks like Tiger Woods' wife got to it." Or I'll tell the grocery store sales clerk I'm a little short on cash: "Well, didja ever sleep with Tiger Woods? I hear there's cash in that these days." Or I'll text one of my girlfriends to say "hey what r u up to?" and she'll write back like "cant talk im fucking tiger wo...

Tiger Woods and Two of His Mistresses Did it Raw Dawg

Tiger Woods Alright, this is going to sound mad ignorant, but I need to say it: I forgot how bad cheating on your spouse is until this whole Tiger Woods thing went down. If you asked me how I felt about extra marital affairs and cheating in general two weeks ago I'd be tell you that I thought it was bad and probably shrug. Now I'm just straight up disgusted by the idea of it. This whole story makes me want to vom, and today we got even more sad details: Tiger Woods didn't use condoms with at least two of ...

Tiger Woods as a Chinese Cartoon

A Chinese news agency decided to animate their theory of what happened at Tiger Woods' house that night, Sims 3 style. /> A Chinese news agency decided to animate their theory of what happened at Tiger Woods' house that night, Sims 3 style....

Friday Fun: Tiger Woods, Gay Marriage, Big Girls and Dry Skin

Ed and I were clearly on a little drug called "single parent children with a chronic need for attention" last night when we made this week's Friday Fun video for you all. Not only were we covering the entire week's worth of news (more or less), but I also was feeling a little parched in the face and Ed had some things he had to get off his chest in relation to feeling like a Large Marge at times. Let me just beat you to it, commenters. "It puts the lotion on its skin." There. Is that what you were thinking? That's what I was thinking....
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