Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Morning Wood

photo of chelsea wolfe pictures goth rocker pics Jennifer Lopez's new boyfriend sued for raping a minor. [The Superficial] The balcony is his shower. Um, wow. [Lainey Gossip] Lady Gaga's craziest outfits of the last few days. [Celebuzz] Alicia Keys on six-year-olds dancing like strippers. [Bossip] Rachel Uchitel claims to have had sex with Elin Nordegren's new boyfriend. [TMZ] The kid that Lamar Odom's car hit has died. [Starpulse] The scariest goth-rocker in LA. [LA Times] Top 10 tattooed celebrities - where's Johnny Depp on the list? [Socialite Life] First photos of Nick Lachey's wedding. [Yeeeah] Photos: Rihanna - no pants. [Celebuzz] What was the...

Does Arnold Schwarzenegger Have a Harem of Hos, Too?

photo of gigi goyette and arnold schwarzenegger affair pictures photos It's like Tiger 2.0 up in this bitch apparently, and mistresses from all over the country are coming out of a Schwarzenegger dong-haze in order to nail his cheating heart to the wall (which I find funny, since these same women didn't give a rat's fetid ass when they were boning him). The latest? An actress from Little House on the Prairie by the name of Gigi Goyette. The very same Gigi Goyette who's actually just lawyered up with Gloria Allred, so apparently there's business to be had here...

Lisa Loeb Releases Eyewear Collection Just In Time for 1995

Before I say a bunch of really petty stuff about Lisa Loeb, allow me to say that she totally killed it on the Reality Bites soundtrack in 1994 and that I think I owned a CD of hers when I was in sixth grade. Fine, I know I owned a CD of hers. Also, I feel really badly that she dated Ethan Hawke back in the day because I feel like she's a really sensitive lady and he's probably a major satchel of dicks. OK? We square? I got the nice shit out of the way? ALRIGHT! You guys, when I saw toda...

So, I Guess There WAS Some Kind of Validity to Rachel Uchitel’s Induction Into Celebrity Rehab

And here I thought it was just because she was a fame-hungry, fuck-at-any-cost ho. Silly me! RadarOnline released exclusive emails between Rachel and Tiger while they were "dating" (that were presumably sent to Radar by Rachel herself) that claimed both parties were addicted to pills:
“Would it be possible for you to get us some more Ambien,” Woods wrote to Uchitel in a November, 2009 email. Uchitel responded, “Ok, but we need to talk about this. I don’t know how to deal with us possibly being addicted to prescription meds." “What can I say to make you stop taking Ambien excessively? What can I do to prove that I’m worried?” [Says Uchitel] “I feel like taking pills is my only alternative!” Woods answered to Uchitel’s concern.
Now, to be clear, the couple weren't, you know, cracked-out zombies that took high-powered sedatives to zone out. Supposedly they were taking the pills for another, more lurid, reason: the idea that some who take Ambien have instant sexual gratification-type results almost immediately after taking the pills. So they'd dope out on sleeping pills and fuck 'til the cows came home ... or until one of them passed out in a drug-induced stupor that resulted in unconscious eating and some more sleep sex. Uh ... win? />And here I thought it was just because she was a fame-hungry, fuck-at-any-cost ho. Silly me! RadarOnline released exclusive emails between Rachel and Tiger while they were "dating" (that were presumably sent to Radar by Rachel herself) that claimed both parties were addicted to pills: “Would it be possible for you to get us some more Ambien,” Woods wrote to Uchitel in a November, 2009 email. Uchitel responded, “Ok, but we need to talk about this. I don’t know how to deal with us pos...

In Other News …

A name finally attached to a beautiful face. Where do they get these VS models? [Celebslam] Britney's looking ... well, better. [popbytes] For real ... Does Miley's new movie suck? I kind of refuse to see it on principle. [Pajiba] Michael Douglas' libido is starting to wane with his age -- AKA more crap I've learned way too much about today. [Celebitchy] Jennifer Hudson has a healthier self-image than most of us probably do. [Zelda Lily] What the fuck is Michael Lohan wearing!? Gah, my retinas!! [Litely Salted] What Jesse James has done with Sandra Bullock's face. [Allie is Wired] Jennifer Aniston would totally do Botox ... Wait, she hasn't already? [Amy Grindhouse] Come on ... Are there really more Tiger mistresses out there? And do we even still care? [Betty Confidential] />A name finally attached to a beautiful face. Where do they get these VS models? [Celebslam] Britney's looking ... well, better. [popbytes] For real ... Does Miley's new movie suck? I kind of refuse to see it on principle. [Pajiba] Michael Douglas' libido is starting to wane with his age -- AKA more crap I've learned way too much about today. [Celebitchy] Jennifer Hudson has a healthier self-image than most of us probably do. [Zelda Lily] What the fuck is Michael Lohan wearing!? Gah...

In Other News …

Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish are dunzo, for the three of you that know who they are ... Or care.  [Celebslam] Jennifer Love Hewitt is still really annoying ... and now she's trying to emulate Lady Gaga.  Or Madonna.  I'm not sure but either way, it's a really poorly executed attempt at "look at my display of unwavering irrelevance." [Popbytes] Natalie Portman to star in female "stoner" flick.  [Pajiba] Elin Woods still not wearing her wedding jewelry, yet playing tennis and vacationing with Tiger regardless.  [Celebitchy] Rihanna gives up on trying to looking good.  [Amy Grindhouse] Sandra Bullock and Jesse James' dog Cinnabun has returned!  [Cityrag] Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi to make appearance at James Madison University this March ... for some reason or another.  [Pop on the Pop] Betty White to co-host Saturday Night Live?  Yes, please.  [Zelda Lily] />Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish are dunzo, for the three of you that know who they are ... Or care.  [Celebslam] Jennifer Love Hewitt is still really annoying ... and now she's trying to emulate Lady Gaga.  Or Madonna.  I'm not sure but either way, it's a really poorly executed attempt at "look at my display of unwavering irrelevance." [Popbytes] Natalie Portman to star in female "stoner" flick.  [Pajiba] Elin Woods still not wearing her wedding jewelry, yet playing tennis and vacatio...

Uncle Jesse’s Extortion Scandal!

John Stamos I've always heard rumors that John Stamos was a sexaholic and would hold two day swinger parties in the Chateau Marmont and his freaky side was what eventually led to the demise of his marriage with Rebecca Romijn. When I saw today that he was the victim of an extortion scandal over some photos I was like "Damn! We're finally gonna get to see some Uncle Jesse dick!" My eight year old self who was in love with him wouldn't even understand what that means. Turns out though that the pictures are actually...

Taylor Swift, Beyonce Clean Up on Grammy Nods

beyonce_europe The Grammy nominations are out, and, to the surprise of no one, Taylor Swift and Beyonce are kicking some ass. Beyonce's leading the list with 10 nominations, and Taylor's close behind. After Taylor, Kanye West, Maxwell and Black Eyed Peas are tied with six nods apiece. (Why do people still nominate Kanye for awards? That just means he'll be at the show, and that's not good for anyone.) Despite a stellar year, Miley Cyrus came up empty, and Britney Spears got one nod for "Womanizer" as Best Dance Rec...

Introducing The Newest Future Member of the First Wives Club

16079245tigerwoods122200911526PM I cannot believe the level of interest surrounding Tiger Wood's rumored infidelity.  The public expects so much more out of celebrities and you know what?  They are just the same low-life, cheating scumbags like the rest of us so it shouldn't be surprising to learn that yeah, Tiger cheated.  He took to his blog to confess his sins and ask for privacy. I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my fami...

Did You Guys Know Joni Mitchell Just Released a New Album?

joni_mitchell.jpg I'm sorry to veer off the traditional menu of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, but I absolutely adore Joni Mitchell. I grew up with my dad singing me Joni Mitchell songs to help me sleep. I think Blue is one of the greatest albums in the history of, well, the world. I've been listening to it since I was a little girl, and it never gets old. So I was really excited to hear that, at age 63, Mitchell has released her first album of new songs in nearly a decade, Shine. I'm listening to it...